Boyfriend wants to use location sharing: Red Flag?

[Anonymous]

I do this with my husband. I don’t think it’s weird. It’s a lot easier for both of us to know where we are in the carpooling/drop off process, close to back home when running errands, etc. We both have zero to hide or use it in any nefarious way…

[Anonymous]

Op, since he's controlling in other areas please leave him. Controlling behavior is not love and it's not part of a healthy relationship

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have location sharing turned on - but I rarely check it. We never did it until we had 2 kids and the logistics of sports and activities require more coordination and hand offs. I can tell when he is almost home from his commute. He can tell when I’m almost back from my morning run. It’s helpful to not need to text each other while also talking to kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone ask to know? No reason other than suspicious, true? I mean unless the person's a child, a frail elderly person ..

I would definitely ask why. I thought it was so weird but my husband and I use it all the time now. I can see when he will be home, I dot have to text. Can find him he’s not answering his phone, can see if he met with my kids who he is trying to find.

I do see funny stuff - if you randomly check like - hey you stopped at mcdonals and didn’t bring me anything! Funny!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would anyone ask to know? No reason other than suspicious, true? I mean unless the person's a child, a frail elderly person ..

I would definitely ask why. I thought it was so weird but my husband and I use it all the time now. I can see when he will be home, I dot have to text. Can find him he’s not answering his phone, can see if he met with my kids who he is trying to find.

I do see funny stuff - if you randomly check like - hey you stopped at mcdonals and didn’t bring me anything! Funny!

Different strokes for different folks I suppose. I don't see it as needed and I don't see anything funny in that.
But I had said her boyfriend is controlling in other was so this is just an extension of him trying to exercise control over her and in this case a long with his other behavior is a red flag and op should get out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

Get out now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

My spouse and I share locations, but in your case absolutely not! In fact, you should probably get out now. You just described him as controlling and making you feel uneasy. You should not be with this person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

In that case, no. I’ve thought it might be handy with my dh so I can know when he’s nearly home from work for kid hand-off purposes, but we haven’t actually spent the time to sit down and figure it out. A guy who’s already watching your time? Heck no. And I say that as someone who tended to be insecure in previous relationships, including the early days with my now-dh. It would have fed into my insecurities. Ignorance is bliss. Don’t do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

There you have it.

Time for this boyfriend to become an "ex"?

On its face, sharing location can be creepy, or not. I think the more you are considered one household, the less odd it is. But if you're dating someone who is controlling and abusive, at least emotionally, then this is just one more way for him to control you. And that's not OK.

The person for you will be excited that you have friends and hobbies. He'll WANT you to have friend time, and me time, away from him. The person for you will trust you without interrogating you or making such a big stink that you just avoid things you previously loved. The person for you would never ever want you to give up your spark.

Can we help you brainstorm ways to get away from him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like this is the kind of thing I’d be willing to do with a husband but not a boyfriend.

Neither one

[Anonymous]

I might agree to this if it went both ways, but if I ended up having any misgivings about it I'd just turn it off on my own phone and that would be the end of that.

[Anonymous]

Definitely not -- then he'll find out you're cheating on him.

[Anonymous]

Get out before you get in any further. Listen to your instincts. I wish I had. Married to a controlling DH and it’s horrible.

[Anonymous]

Glad you have your answer,OP. Are you concerned for your safety? Do you live together?

[Anonymous]

Obviously, if someone is controlling this could be a red flag, but my husband and I have shared our locations for years and find it useful in a variety of situations. We use it mainly for convenience (when one of us is going to get home) and safety (if I go hiking on my own my location is known).