Boyfriend wants to use location sharing: Red Flag?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

I don't understand why you are staying with him. Are you that desperate?

[Anonymous]

I can see why somebody would want to know. To make sure you get home at night. One big one there. Yes, you can text, but it is an added layer.

But don't do it. It is actually quick addictive to see where your SOs are, and that can get invasive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

There you have it.

Time for this boyfriend to become an "ex"?

On its face, sharing location can be creepy, or not. I think the more you are considered one household, the less odd it is. But if you're dating someone who is controlling and abusive, at least emotionally, then this is just one more way for him to control you. And that's not OK.

The person for you will be excited that you have friends and hobbies. He'll WANT you to have friend time, and me time, away from him. The person for you will trust you without interrogating you or making such a big stink that you just avoid things you previously loved. The person for you would never ever want you to give up your spark.

Can we help you brainstorm ways to get away from him?

OP, PLEASE listen to this poster.
It's time to move on, and if you feel like you need help with how to do it, please reach out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It has a “share for 24 hours” thing that can be really useful if you’re coordinating comings and goings. But permanently is a no for me.

I love being able to check in on my best friend and seeing that she's at work, or on the road, or at home. Silly, I know, but I like to know she's around since we are at a distance.

I don't have it with my kids or husband, though. I did with kids, but I got too controlling.

[Anonymous]

I would not. XH was abusive and I didn't realize until I cut him out how much he used it to stalk me on a daily basis. He got irate when I stopped sharing.

[Anonymous]

This question came up last year on this forum, and some people were all for it (same answers about needing to know when to put pasta water on?) and a lot of us were like "why do you need this"?

I'm in the later camp. Not sure if it's an age thing? I am mid 40s, kids not old enough yet to have phones, and I've been with DH since 2000 (so before either of us had cell phones). This just seems wholly unnecessary to me. I honestly don't want to know that much about DH.

[Anonymous]

Oh hell no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can see why somebody would want to know. To make sure you get home at night. One big one there. Yes, you can text, but it is an added layer.

But don't do it. It is actually quick addictive to see where your SOs are, and that can get invasive.

This is not true. Calling instead of texting would be the added layer you are thinking of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can see why somebody would want to know. To make sure you get home at night. One big one there. Yes, you can text, but it is an added layer.

But don't do it. It is actually quick addictive to see where your SOs are, and that can get invasive.

This is not true. Calling instead of texting would be the added layer you are thinking of.

Oh and forgot to add, the only person I would call after I got home would be my mom after returning from a trip to visit her, and I'm pretty sure she has anxiety so I play along.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is it weird that my bf wants me to share my location? He offered to do it for me, too. I'm not sure I'm comfortable with it.

My husband and I share our location with each other. It’s convenient to track if one of us is on their way home, so we don’t have to bug them.

With a boyfriend I would think it’s a little weird.

[Anonymous]

Not with your boyfriend. Please don’t. Preserve your independence, happiness and dignity.

[Anonymous]

My wife doesn't share her location with me, but I know where she is anyway. She's driving a Tesla.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:(OP): Thanks for the feedback. He's controlling in other ways too and weird about how I spend my time/with whom. It makes me uneasy.

No, no, no, no, no. OP just NO…danger girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I really wouldn't care one way or the other, unless there were other red flags.

This I don’t know why I would care.

Ironically my husband called me one day worried because I was in a meeting in building across a highway from a prison and location sharing pin dropped me in the prison.

[Anonymous]

Thank you to those who posted. Many of you are telling me things I guess I already know. We don't live together. He is somewhat controlling and possessive and I needed the feedback I got here to make some hard decisions.