How to explain abortion ruling to 7 year old

[Anonymous]

Prob worse that she’s going around telling kids there’s going to be a civil war in America. Nice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. Let her have her childhood.

I’d like to! But clearly she’s heard something and is trying to process it. Point is I’d like to guide that processing if at all possible.

She has no idea what she's saying. This must be a troll post. Any parent would realize that.

The OP is a parent. I’m a parent. Parenting includes things like talking to your kids about uncomfortable but important things in developmentally appropriate ways. Sometimes even though we would rather “let them be kids.” The repeal of Roe has implications for OP’s 7yo daughter, my 12yo and 5yo daughters, and your daughters, if you have any. I’d prefer that my daughters get their moral guidance from me and moral leaders I think are appropriate, so we discuss things like abortion and racism and other things that probably will get called “woke” in a dismissive way.

So much drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. Let her have her childhood.

I’d like to! But clearly she’s heard something and is trying to process it. Point is I’d like to guide that processing if at all possible.

She has no idea what she's saying. This must be a troll post. Any parent would realize that.

The OP is a parent. I’m a parent. Parenting includes things like talking to your kids about uncomfortable but important things in developmentally appropriate ways. Sometimes even though we would rather “let them be kids.” The repeal of Roe has implications for OP’s 7yo daughter, my 12yo and 5yo daughters, and your daughters, if you have any. I’d prefer that my daughters get their moral guidance from me and moral leaders I think are appropriate, so we discuss things like abortion and racism and other things that probably will get called “woke” in a dismissive way.

They don't even understand any of this, no matter how much you try to pretend they're miniature adults. They're not. They're just going to post on here someday about the laughable thing they thought their mother meant when they explained Roe v. Wade to them at 7.

No way you are a parent and don't realize it is not developmentally appropriate to talk to a 7 year old about this. Yes, the repeal of Roe v. Wade will have ramifications in their lives. That is OUR responsibility to deal with, since we are the adults. They are not.

I sincerely hope you are not an actual parent if you don't get that.

Okay. At what age do you think it is appropriate for children to understand that not everyone wants to or is able to continue a pregnancy?

Wouldn’t that come up when you are teaching birth control?
Seems responsible to teach consent and BC to teens. If you want to cover that for 7 yo, good luck.

[Anonymous]

Please don’t do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. Let her have her childhood.

I’d like to! But clearly she’s heard something and is trying to process it. Point is I’d like to guide that processing if at all possible.

She has no idea what she's saying. This must be a troll post. Any parent would realize that.

The OP is a parent. I’m a parent. Parenting includes things like talking to your kids about uncomfortable but important things in developmentally appropriate ways. Sometimes even though we would rather “let them be kids.” The repeal of Roe has implications for OP’s 7yo daughter, my 12yo and 5yo daughters, and your daughters, if you have any. I’d prefer that my daughters get their moral guidance from me and moral leaders I think are appropriate, so we discuss things like abortion and racism and other things that probably will get called “woke” in a dismissive way.

They don't even understand any of this, no matter how much you try to pretend they're miniature adults. They're not. They're just going to post on here someday about the laughable thing they thought their mother meant when they explained Roe v. Wade to them at 7.

No way you are a parent and don't realize it is not developmentally appropriate to talk to a 7 year old about this. Yes, the repeal of Roe v. Wade will have ramifications in their lives. That is OUR responsibility to deal with, since we are the adults. They are not.

I sincerely hope you are not an actual parent if you don't get that.

Okay. At what age do you think it is appropriate for children to understand that not everyone wants to or is able to continue a pregnancy?

Wouldn’t that come up when you are teaching birth control?
Seems responsible to teach consent and BC to teens. If you want to cover that for 7 yo, good luck.

DP - Teens? Kids definitely know about birth control and abortion before that. My Catholic middle school had writing assignments on abortion.

My 9 yo definitely knows pregnancy can be prevented: we've sheltered her a bit in that she assumes all pregnancies are intentional. But a 7 yo should already know anatomy (proper names), basic sex info, and consent re: being touched in any way. It's not a big leap from there to say "A woman gets to decide whether to stay pregnant, because the pregnancy affects her body even if she were to find the baby a new family."

[Anonymous]

I think living in DC forces parents to address issues like this with kids earlier than they would in other places (and that might be a good thing). Like, last week around Capitol Hill and on the Metro, we saw protesters with various signs and stickers. Kids who are 7 can read and they ask questions! Really, there’s been so much serious stuff to discuss the past two years, I feel like I can handle talking to my 7yo about almost anything now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

“but couldn’t you just give the baby to someone else.”

Your child is wise.

Congratulations, you have the mental comprehension of a 7 year old from a post on the internet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Highly nuanced topics aren’t developmentally appropriate for 7.

The 7 yos you know must be kind of slow.

[Anonymous]

I'd just let it go. I doubt a 7 year old is going to spend much headspace thinking about this. If she keeps bringing it up, then talk to her about it.

[Anonymous]

Interesting… I was ~7 when John Lennon was murdered. My mom sat me down to explain that my SIL was crying because of it. She had to explain murder and why John Lennon was so important.

I think you can easily explain to her that they made a law in many states that women can’t receive proper healthcare when they are pregnant. It’s upsetting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Highly nuanced topics aren’t developmentally appropriate for 7.

+1!!

I have a 7 year old who listens to everything too. I seriously would have just asked, "what do you mean?" and let her explain it to me adding things like "oh that so smart of you...... great thinking...... that could be an option...." and for goodness sake (and the sake of your child's innocence) let it go.

I'm sad by the ruling, but why in the world would I make this a problem for for my young children to stress about. Gees, let them be kids!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't. Let her have her childhood.

I’d like to! But clearly she’s heard something and is trying to process it. Point is I’d like to guide that processing if at all possible.

She has no idea what she's saying. This must be a troll post. Any parent would realize that.

The OP is a parent. I’m a parent. Parenting includes things like talking to your kids about uncomfortable but important things in developmentally appropriate ways. Sometimes even though we would rather “let them be kids.” The repeal of Roe has implications for OP’s 7yo daughter, my 12yo and 5yo daughters, and your daughters, if you have any. I’d prefer that my daughters get their moral guidance from me and moral leaders I think are appropriate, so we discuss things like abortion and racism and other things that probably will get called “woke” in a dismissive way.

I agree that moral guidance comes from parents. However 12 and 7 are very different developmentally. I do talk to my 12 yo about this in more detail than my younger ones. For the younger ones it's "what do you think? How do you understand this? Oh, that's so interesting".... then I leave it. The older one gets "have you thought about it this way? .... some people think... what do you believe in this or thay case...."

And their answers to me are never wrong. I want them to think for themselves. The little ones cannot understand all the nuances, so why stress them out? The older ones can be guided with probing questions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 7 my kids all knew how babies are made, that there's natural birth and c-sections, and that abortions and adoptions exist.

So explaining that the right to abortion is no longer country-wide and now each state gets to choose if they'll allow it or not was not a big deal.

I'm sure your 7 year old understands the complexities and history of American government, how it works, the women's movement, and variations on government supported Healthcare too. Gees, I'm teaching mine quantum physics and string theory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, perhaps start with saying something like “you said something interesting at dinner, can you tell me more about what you meant” ask her what she knows/has heard. Ask if she has any questions and clear up any confusions she has (in an age appropriate way). If she has a question and you’re not sure what an age appropriate answer is, tell her you need some time to think about how to answer and you’ll come back in a day or 2.
This approach got me through the 2016 election and the previous presidency with my elementary schoolers when they came home with questions we hadn’t expected.

+1 - I've used this approach often with my kids. Let them lead the conversation, and answer only the questions they ask. And stop talking when they're finished.

BTW, I faced this the other day myself, when my three kids and I were on the metro and some very loud and aggressive (and a bit scary) protestors. In this case, they were pro-choice, and they were shouting at everyone that we weren't pro-women if we didn't chant with them. Wasn't a great experience for us, and also led to similar questions from my kids (6, 8, 10). I'll admit that I didn't answer their questions in the moment, and planned to return to the discussion later, but they didn't raise it again (so neither did I).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tonight at dinner after going to visit Harper’s Ferry my husband and I were talking about the Civil War and I made a quip about hopefully we don’t see another Civil War. I wasn’t thinking about my 7 year old sitting there (note to self: keep mouth shut) but this prompted her to say “but couldn’t you just give the baby to someone else.” To say I was in shock is an understatement first that she knows anything about the SCOTUS decision but also connected it to my quip.

And now I’m at a loss of how to explain this to her. We haven’t had the sex talk yet. She knows broadly that babies come out of women’s bodies and that women have eggs but we haven’t talked about anything beyond that.

I feel like I have to say something as clearly she’s picked up on the conversations right now and I’d rather be the one who tells her what’s going on then her trying to figure this out on her own.

And I know folks are going to immediately say troll, but I promise I’m not. This happened tonight and I desperately need advice on how to move forward.

It's crazy how kids can break it down so easily