Boyfriend’s ex is coming to party- normal

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Entering a relationship with someone who has a child (or children) with another person is entering into a relationship threesome. That other person will ALWAYS be a part of picture. You are either OK with that or you don't go down that road at all.

This is the best advice you are going to get. Sadly you probably don't know that or believe it. Please save this post and come back in 5 years, then you will get it.

[Anonymous]

Why wouldn't you expect to be invited?

[Anonymous]

Family friend? Is he referring to a family friend as in someone who is friends with his parents, or someone who is friends with his ex? If the latter, I’d be concerned, he and his ex are no longer a family. On some level you know the language matters, otherwise you’d explain what he means by “family friend”.

I’d also be concerned that you aren’t invited, you may have other plans, but you should have been invited.
My husband was having me meet his friends within weeks of us starting to date. If he hadn’t, we wouldn’t have gotten married, I wasn’t his f**ck buddy, I was his girlfriend now wife. I’d be wanting to know who doesn’t want you around, the friends, the ex, the boyfriend? Why aren’t you invited? I’m assuming you haven’t threatened the ex or anything like that. She’ll be around, and you probably need to get used to that or end the relationship.


As for the kid, yes he comes first. Undoubtedly plans will get changed if the kid gets sick, the sitter flakes, whatever, just remember his kid didn’t prevent the two of you from getting together, so clearly he’s not spending all his time on kid stuff. That’s probably healthy, just don’t fall for being shunted aside when he or anybody wants to play the “kid comes first card”. Clearly, the kid was just fine when he was looking for a girlfriend and on your first few dates, if the kid stops doing fine, that’d be a problem, one that probably doesn’t really involve the kid at all. Remember that.
I’d be insisting on the girlfriend treatment unless you want to be treated like a second class person. Either that, or I’d break up with him, you can’t make him do anything, but you don’t have to put up with playing second fiddle either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normal. The friend is probably also friends with the ex and child.

BUT huge red flag that he started dating you one month after he broke up with the mother of his child. You’re a rebound.

My husband was my rebound. It can work out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For everyone saying their relationship is too soon, does it make a difference if there was the year separation period? I think it does.

She said they broke up six months ago, not that their divorce was finalized six months ago.

I assumed it mean BF and ex were not married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Entering a relationship with someone who has a child (or children) with another person is entering into a relationship threesome. That other person will ALWAYS be a part of picture. You are either OK with that or you don't go down that road at all.

Couldn't agree more

[Anonymous]

You may be the rebound girl and your relationship won't last.
Or, you might have a stable relationship for decades.

But either way, it's to the child's advantage that the ex and your boyfriend get along, and children always come first.

[Anonymous]

I guess. I have a different take on this. This doesn't seem like a party for the child. Just a party the kid will be at.
Seems like a casual situation that BF doesn't need to be at. He could probably hang out with the friend later.

I actually think it would be fine if Op were invited in this situation. I assume by this point she knows a few of her boyfriends friends, she would just be another one of the friends. It's not like a big 1 on 1 introduction.

If I were the friend I would have told bf to bring you. And as a mom this seems like a perfect low-key introduction.

So yes while op should be okay with her bf and ex doing things together because they share a child.. this situation is suspect.