One last embryo - what to do

[Anonymous]

If you didn't always want 3, this is not a reason to change your mind.

Also, you you really want to be 62 when your third child is graduating high school?

Finally, I hope you live in the DMV, and not some area where disposing of the embryo will soon be illegal. There, you'll be required to either continue to pay to store it, or implant it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

I think the availability of so much prenatal testing has created the false impression that we can detect everything in advance.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't always want 3, this is not a reason to change your mind.

Also, you you really want to be 62 when your third child is graduating high school?

Finally, I hope you live in the DMV, and not some area where disposing of the embryo will soon be illegal. There, you'll be required to either continue to pay to store it, or implant it.

+1000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My parents were your age when I was born and now facing eldercare and the end of their lives as I enter my 30s is not something I would wish on anyone. On the other hand, you kind of owe the other one a sibling so she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Selfish all around.

+1

If you have this baby you will be over 65 at his or her high school graduation. Please consider the future adult who will have to deal with aging and dying parents when they are in the prime of their life and should be focused on their own children and their careers.

Good point here, I didn’t even think of that.

[Anonymous]

Over 65 at high school graduation? Is my math off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

I think the availability of so much prenatal testing has created the false impression that we can detect everything in advance.

This is anecdotal but my gf received a positive lab report around 5 months saying her son had Down’s syndrome. She proceeded with pregnancy anyway and gave birth to a son, without Down’s syndrome, at 39 weeks. The whole experience was traumatizing for her and she was livid with her obgyn after the fact but said they are going off lab ranges and depending on research being used these numbers can vary. She also has PhD in laboratory medicine so seemed to understand how this can happen better than I do as nonmedical person. Anyway, I think important to note that science is only as good as the research and the research varies and evolves. Testing is amazing and also it is not perfect and doesn’t carry complete guarantees.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

I think the availability of so much prenatal testing has created the false impression that we can detect everything in advance.

This is anecdotal but my gf received a positive lab report around 5 months saying her son had Down’s syndrome. She proceeded with pregnancy anyway and gave birth to a son, without Down’s syndrome, at 39 weeks. The whole experience was traumatizing for her and she was livid with her obgyn after the fact but said they are going off lab ranges and depending on research being used these numbers can vary. She also has PhD in laboratory medicine so seemed to understand how this can happen better than I do as nonmedical person. Anyway, I think important to note that science is only as good as the research and the research varies and evolves. Testing is amazing and also it is not perfect and doesn’t carry complete guarantees.

Was this one of the cell-free tests or did she do amnio/CVS?

[Anonymous]

If you can't stand to destroy, there's also embryo donation to another couple.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

I think the availability of so much prenatal testing has created the false impression that we can detect everything in advance.

This is anecdotal but my gf received a positive lab report around 5 months saying her son had Down’s syndrome. She proceeded with pregnancy anyway and gave birth to a son, without Down’s syndrome, at 39 weeks. The whole experience was traumatizing for her and she was livid with her obgyn after the fact but said they are going off lab ranges and depending on research being used these numbers can vary. She also has PhD in laboratory medicine so seemed to understand how this can happen better than I do as nonmedical person. Anyway, I think important to note that science is only as good as the research and the research varies and evolves. Testing is amazing and also it is not perfect and doesn’t carry complete guarantees.

Was this one of the cell-free tests or did she do amnio/CVS?

PP here. I don’t know which one her OB conducted.

[Anonymous]

Unless I had always planned on having 3 I wouldn't. 3 is whole different ball game from 2 and seems like you would probably be around 44 when you had your 3rd. Be grateful for what you have and enjoy your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

I think the availability of so much prenatal testing has created the false impression that we can detect everything in advance.

This is anecdotal but my gf received a positive lab report around 5 months saying her son had Down’s syndrome. She proceeded with pregnancy anyway and gave birth to a son, without Down’s syndrome, at 39 weeks. The whole experience was traumatizing for her and she was livid with her obgyn after the fact but said they are going off lab ranges and depending on research being used these numbers can vary. She also has PhD in laboratory medicine so seemed to understand how this can happen better than I do as nonmedical person. Anyway, I think important to note that science is only as good as the research and the research varies and evolves. Testing is amazing and also it is not perfect and doesn’t carry complete guarantees.

Was this one of the cell-free tests or did she do amnio/CVS?

PP here. I don’t know which one her OB conducted.

It sounds like the cell free test. Those are screening tests, not diagnostic. If that test and the NT test indicated a risk of Down syndrome then a doctor would suggest confirming with CVS or amnio if the patient wants to be sure. Some people choose not to do anything because they plan to keep the baby regardless.

[Anonymous]

I have one because I am single. I donated my unused 2 extra embryos to science.

If I had a dedicated partner I would go for the 3. Perhaps consider quitting your outside job and taking care of the kids yourself? That would be my decision if my partner made enough and we cut back. I loved having a stay at home mom when I was growing up. As a single parent I did not have that choice.

[Anonymous]

That would be a no for me due to age. If you don't feel comfortable donating the embryo to science you could do an embryo adoption.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm not as old as you are, but I made the jump at 35 and implanted it. I felt like it was letting nature roll the dice. If I didn't get pregnant, it was meant to be that way, and if I did get pregnant, that was great too. I did get pregnant and we have a sweet baby girl.

I was conflicted about destroying the embryo and I didn't want to donate it either.

I will say that 3 is A LOT and that I'm often very tired by the end of the day. I'm a high energy person, but they run me ragged.

…this is literally the opposite of “letting nature roll the dice”.

[Anonymous]

I’m kinda in the same situation as you, but not entirely. I have two more frozen embryos. One is genetically normal, one is inconclusive. I am 45 years old and I know that I do not want to have any more children. One of my frozen embryos from that batch is my now two year old. She is my third. I am so exhausted all the time. Of course, I don’t regret her, but life got so much harder since she was born. Having a kid in your mid-forties is no joke. I will probably put the remaining embryos up for adoption, but I’m too tired to deal with it now!