One last embryo - what to do

[Anonymous]

We have 3 and I had my last at 34… it’s hard and expensive. Of course we love our last one and could not imagine our lives without him, but it made life harder (more needs) and more stressful (money for private school).

We can comfortably afford private school for 2, but 3 is pushing it. We are not able to live the stress free life we hd before. We could choose to send all 3 kids to public school, but are not ready for that yet.

[Anonymous]

I would just go for it. It may or may not take and then you can avoid all the "what ifs" -- somehow if you had several remaining embryos it would seem easier to discard but to me (not sure why) discarding just the remaining one feels sad.

[Anonymous]

I didn’t have IVF but went through a period of what about the babies we aren’t having. My husband helpfully pointed out that using that logic we’d end up Duggars and we might have the best most perfect child or we might have the worst kid in the world! I’m not a gambler. Take your two healthy kids and walk away from the table.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How much does it cost to keep the embryo?

$660 per year, we get auto-charged $55 per month. We were auto-charged this morning so the embryo is on my mind right now.

Is this Shady Grove? They were charging $500 a few years ago and I thought that was expensive.

Yes, Shady Grove.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

No it does not. Go to any PAC classroom in Fairfax county and observe a room full of chromosomally normal autistic 5-year olds who are nonverbal and non-potty trained. So many developmental delays are nondiagnosable in utero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

No it does not. Go to any PAC classroom in Fairfax county and observe a room full of chromosomally normal autistic 5-year olds who are nonverbal and non-potty trained. So many developmental delays are nondiagnosable in utero.

This!! I believed that because of all the testing, the chances were extremely low of any developmental or genetic disorders. I have a child with a very rare and severe genetic disorder that was not detected in the genetic testing of my embryos. It happens. We don’t have tests for everything.

Not a reason to be afraid, but be aware there are no guarantees and your 3rd could have special needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

Not for things like autism.

[Anonymous]

I used my last embryo at age 44 and the embryo split and I delivered healthy identical twins at age 45. This could be a possibility too. I think you need to decide if you really want to have another child and if you and your husband are okay with the possibility of twins or a special needs child. Good luck with your decision.

[Anonymous]

My parents were your age when I was born and now facing eldercare and the end of their lives as I enter my 30s is not something I would wish on anyone. On the other hand, you kind of owe the other one a sibling so she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Selfish all around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were your age when I was born and now facing eldercare and the end of their lives as I enter my 30s is not something I would wish on anyone. On the other hand, you kind of owe the other one a sibling so she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Selfish all around.

Nvm, see you already have two. Don’t have another.

[Anonymous]

Can you live with the thought of destroying the embryo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were your age when I was born and now facing eldercare and the end of their lives as I enter my 30s is not something I would wish on anyone. On the other hand, you kind of owe the other one a sibling so she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Selfish all around.

+1

If you have this baby you will be over 65 at his or her high school graduation. Please consider the future adult who will have to deal with aging and dying parents when they are in the prime of their life and should be focused on their own children and their careers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You have to also be prepared for the possibility of having a special needs child.

While that is always the case with any pregnancy, OP indicates that the embryo has been tested, which eliminates much concern.

This might be the dumbest thing I have ever read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My parents were your age when I was born and now facing eldercare and the end of their lives as I enter my 30s is not something I would wish on anyone. On the other hand, you kind of owe the other one a sibling so she doesn’t have to go through it alone. Selfish all around.

Oops, I should have kept reading before posting. THIS is the dumbest thing I have ever read.