What do you do if someone is absurdly jealous of where you live?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d never get jealous of anyone living in a suburb of DC or even DC proper. I can see somewhere like Iceland or Australia. But not your standard, run of the mill DC burb. That’s just weird.

Yeah, nobody is jealous of anyone living anywhere in the DC area. I could totally see myself being jealous of someone with oceanfront private property on a Caribbean island, or private lodge with ski access in Beaver Creek.

DC? Hah!

+1 lol right? i promise you all, no matter the location, no matter how tasteful the renovations, no one is jealous of your DC-area house.
Now your private 10,000 acre ranch in Wyoming that borders Yellowstone and is fully staffed with chefs and maids and where you spend retreat time making art and horsebackriding: Yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:First - I never, not once, have brought up my neighborhood or address unless directly asked. But my new friend(s) or acquaintances become absurdly defensive when they are the ones asking 'oh where do you live/move to?'

I say I bought in Mclean or on the UES depending on where the conversation is taking place. I know where they live keep in mind - usually its a far-flung burb or something and that's fine. I compliment them on their homes and how they must like whatever community they live in. But then immediately its disparaging comments about 'Oh I couldn't deal with the traffic or the size of an UES place'.

I don't even understand why you'd go out of your way to try to say something negative about someone else's home choice??

I can guarantee you, nobody gives a shit about where you live in McLean. Considering you probably paid twice as much for your house than someone in their “far-flung burb”.

[Anonymous]

UES I get, but why would anyone be jealous of McLean?

Walkability?

[Anonymous]

I recently moved from PG County to a modest house in a neighborhood in Potomac, and while I certainly wouldn't say that people become jealous when I say where I live, they do seem to be taken aback. Some also make jokes along the lines of, "ooh you fancy!"
I find myself almost feeling apologetic when I say where I live now. Like: Potomac, but not the super rich mcmansion part. A couple times I tried just saying I live in Montgomery County, but then people want to know where in Montgomery County and then it becomes a weird thing.
It's almost like how I imagine people who went to Harvard or Yale feel when answering questions about where they went to school (yes, I realize all the differences in that analogy, but the weirdly apologetic feeling seems similar).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I say this as someone who lives in Mclean….you sound deranged.

+1 from McLean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I recently moved from PG County to a modest house in a neighborhood in Potomac, and while I certainly wouldn't say that people become jealous when I say where I live, they do seem to be taken aback. Some also make jokes along the lines of, "ooh you fancy!"
I find myself almost feeling apologetic when I say where I live now. Like: Potomac, but not the super rich mcmansion part. A couple times I tried just saying I live in Montgomery County, but then people want to know where in Montgomery County and then it becomes a weird thing.
It's almost like how I imagine people who went to Harvard or Yale feel when answering questions about where they went to school (yes, I realize all the differences in that analogy, but the weirdly apologetic feeling seems similar).

OP here - this is also similar to my experience. I try to avoid mentioning where I live. I like to talk about everything in the area that everyone can enjoy but the questions are constant - oh you live in VA? Where? NOVA? But where? Mclean? Oh which...

Then it becomes almost a yard stick to measure against when I didn't even want to bring it up in the first place.

Still this thread has been helpful - thanks to all.

[Anonymous]

Op. Trust me. Nobody is jealous of you living in McLean lol. Get over yourself.

[Anonymous]

Are we calling McLean the UES now?

OP, you're clearly viewing their comments through a lens where you presume they would be jealous - so that is what you are hearing.

[Anonymous]

All the people saying that OP needs to get over themselves for thinking people are jealous, are deluding themselves. When I find out that one of my peers is living an unexpectedly wealthy llifestyle in comparison to my own, whether that's where they live, or they have 3 kids in an elite private school, or they own a 2nd home, my immediate reaction is a twinge of jealously, followed by snarkily wondering with my husband whether they come from family money, or if their spouse is a lawyer or something. Like, it's petty, but it's human. I could 100% see a scenario where I was in the middle of a conversation with someone who revealed something like that about themselves, and just in the moment, me saying something tactless.

I'm sure OP has dealt with jealousy, but I think it would be wrong to assume that Everyone is jealous. Or to get defensive about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All the people saying that OP needs to get over themselves for thinking people are jealous, are deluding themselves. When I find out that one of my peers is living an unexpectedly wealthy llifestyle in comparison to my own, whether that's where they live, or they have 3 kids in an elite private school, or they own a 2nd home, my immediate reaction is a twinge of jealously, followed by snarkily wondering with my husband whether they come from family money, or if their spouse is a lawyer or something. Like, it's petty, but it's human. I could 100% see a scenario where I was in the middle of a conversation with someone who revealed something like that about themselves, and just in the moment, me saying something tactless.

I'm sure OP has dealt with jealousy, but I think it would be wrong to assume that Everyone is jealous. Or to get defensive about it.

This part happens later, at home and in private, to clarify

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d never get jealous of anyone living in a suburb of DC or even DC proper. I can see somewhere like Iceland or Australia. But not your standard, run of the mill DC burb. That’s just weird.

Yeah, nobody is jealous of anyone living anywhere in the DC area. I could totally see myself being jealous of someone with oceanfront private property on a Caribbean island, or private lodge with ski access in Beaver Creek.

DC? Hah!

+1 lol right? i promise you all, no matter the location, no matter how tasteful the renovations, no one is jealous of your DC-area house.
Now your private 10,000 acre ranch in Wyoming that borders Yellowstone and is fully staffed with chefs and maids and where you spend retreat time making art and horsebackriding: Yes.

That's not an atypical reaction from people who can't afford one of the more expensive areas in DC, but make themselves feel better by reassuring themselves that the people they envy may not own a big spread in Malibu or Jackson Hole, either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Are we calling McLean the UES now?

OP, you're clearly viewing their comments through a lens where you presume they would be jealous - so that is what you are hearing.

Wasn't OP saying they own property in both McLean and the UES? No one would confuse the two, although both are quite expensive, although the UES east of Third Avenue isn't all that, either.

[Anonymous]

I live in McLean, and have the opposite experience. Whenever my friends who live in a pricy tiny DC rowhouse or half rowhouse/condo learnt that I live in McLean, they roll their eyes and say: how can you bear living so far away and drive to everywhere? I had to tease myself to respond something like: it's all the kids faut??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op. Trust me. Nobody is jealous of you living in McLean lol. Get over yourself.

Not OP but I can't recall a time in recent years where a listing of the most expensive sales in the DC area hasn't included multiple properties from McLean. I'm sure that doesn't go unnoticed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’d never get jealous of anyone living in a suburb of DC or even DC proper. I can see somewhere like Iceland or Australia. But not your standard, run of the mill DC burb. That’s just weird.

Yeah, nobody is jealous of anyone living anywhere in the DC area. I could totally see myself being jealous of someone with oceanfront private property on a Caribbean island, or private lodge with ski access in Beaver Creek.

DC? Hah!

+1 lol right? i promise you all, no matter the location, no matter how tasteful the renovations, no one is jealous of your DC-area house.
Now your private 10,000 acre ranch in Wyoming that borders Yellowstone and is fully staffed with chefs and maids and where you spend retreat time making art and horsebackriding: Yes.

That's not an atypical reaction from people who can't afford one of the more expensive areas in DC, but make themselves feel better by reassuring themselves that the people they envy may not own a big spread in Malibu or Jackson Hole, either.

Nobody dreams of living in McLean. Please just stop. If not for the job market and government being right there, McLean wouldn’t be a thing.