Passive aggressive PTA leaders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent!

Why is it that the very people who want to be PTSA presidents are the very people who alienate volunteers? I’ve been a loyal, low-maintenance volunteer on a range of very time-intensive activities from grades K-12 over the years of three DSs in FCPS. Having gone through many PTSA presidents, I’m surprised at how few have had the backs of the volunteers, despite their faux praise at the end-of-year thank you’s. I thought I was alone, until dining over the weekend with other volunteers who are also “graduating” out. Good luck to the new recruits!

In my kiddo’s high school, the presidents of the parent organizations are Debbie downers or control freaks. They probably think others are apathetic, but they make it hard to get involved.

There is a reason that these people are available to take on this extra work!! They are not essential anywhere else in their lives and join these groups to make themselves "feel" important and powerful.

Yep this is correct. Same type of folks that run the freecycle/buy nothing type FB groups, and boy do they run those with an iron fist. It's the aftereffects of someone who is finally in charge of something besides little Larlo's snack schedule.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish there were more people in my school who wanted to run for the PTA board. I am running for a low level position because no one wants to. I guess all parents not running think they are above that. I wish we could all seat back and relax and let the school runs itself. Not saying that all PTA are great but if you don’t like what your PTA is doing step up!

But the point is that they only want a certain type of person to run. It varies between schools but at my school the entire board consists of overweight frumpy aggressively liberal moms. My friend tried to run for an empty position and they didn't like how she looked, stalked her Facebook profile, deduced she was a Trump supporter from years-old posts and bullied her out. They'd rather have the position unfilled then work with fellow mothers they don't like. And still they whine that no one wants to volunteer! Emails begging to volunteer go unanswered if you aren't part of their crew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our former PTA president physically threatened me in an email. I really wanted to get a TRO/PRO but my husband talked me out of it since it would just mean there'd be a bounty out on my head.

That's why we went private.

Yikes. It's like Lifetime movie level drama with some of these folks.

[Anonymous]

All of this sounds crazy to me. Just wait until middle school where you can't find volunteers at all. I am finishing my one-year term as a middle school PTA President and I am so glad to be done. I totally sucked at it, which I pretty much said I would, but nobody else stepped up to do it. It was a completely thankless job and at a school of ~1400 kids, maybe 15 families actually volunteered in any meaningful way. Those 15 people did a great job and really are the only reason we had any events this year because I am not an event planner and was pretty clear that without other people stepping up, we just wouldn't have those events. I honestly can't imagine intentionally chasing away volunteers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish there were more people in my school who wanted to run for the PTA board. I am running for a low level position because no one wants to. I guess all parents not running think they are above that. I wish we could all seat back and relax and let the school runs itself. Not saying that all PTA are great but if you don’t like what your PTA is doing step up!

As a new parent this past year, I felt a bit lost how to get involved. All the meetings weee on zoom, there was really only a couple calls for in person volunteers all year. I volunteered at the book fair and all the other moms knew each other and barely spoke to me. I asked one, who was a board member, if there would be other volunteer opportunities and didn’t get much of an answer. Then the same people were trying to recruit new board members for next year and wondering why folks weren’t stepping up. It’s because they need to offer more opportunities to get their foot in the door and have some smaller roles first.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All of this sounds crazy to me. Just wait until middle school where you can't find volunteers at all. I am finishing my one-year term as a middle school PTA President and I am so glad to be done. I totally sucked at it, which I pretty much said I would, but nobody else stepped up to do it. It was a completely thankless job and at a school of ~1400 kids, maybe 15 families actually volunteered in any meaningful way. Those 15 people did a great job and really are the only reason we had any events this year because I am not an event planner and was pretty clear that without other people stepping up, we just wouldn't have those events. I honestly can't imagine intentionally chasing away volunteers.

I tried to volunteer for MS. The PTA leader begged for volunteers but only allowed her friend to volunteer and ran out anyone who might not sign her praises. So, either you are the problem or the folks before you and you got stuck with their burden.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:All of this sounds crazy to me. Just wait until middle school where you can't find volunteers at all. I am finishing my one-year term as a middle school PTA President and I am so glad to be done. I totally sucked at it, which I pretty much said I would, but nobody else stepped up to do it. It was a completely thankless job and at a school of ~1400 kids, maybe 15 families actually volunteered in any meaningful way. Those 15 people did a great job and really are the only reason we had any events this year because I am not an event planner and was pretty clear that without other people stepping up, we just wouldn't have those events. I honestly can't imagine intentionally chasing away volunteers.

I tried to volunteer for MS. The PTA leader begged for volunteers but only allowed her friend to volunteer and ran out anyone who might not sign her praises. So, either you are the problem or the folks before you and you got stuck with their burden.

I was a disorganized mess without time to really take on this role. Like I said, I stepped up because we got to last June and nobody would do it. I am sure that someone else could have done it better had they volunteered to do so. However, I never restricted volunteer roles to my friends and didn't need anybody to sing my praises. At the end of the day, enough people stepped up (many who I didn't know previously because our kids went to different elementary schools) that we were able to hold events, but it was the same people over and over again all year.

I'm not saying that PTA isn't cliquey at some MS, I'm just saying that is so far from the experience at my child's middle school where we were begging for engagement that it is hard to imagine.

Anyway, glad to be a "former" PTA President rather than a current one!

[Anonymous]

PTA boards attract bullies and crazies, and even though once in a while you get some good people, they are soon replaced or forced out by the mean girls. Surprising number of thieves, too, although it's usually not reported. I think PTA's do more harm than good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our former PTA president physically threatened me in an email. I really wanted to get a TRO/PRO but my husband talked me out of it since it would just mean there'd be a bounty out on my head.

That's why we went private.

Oh wow, I could have written this myself! (But I didn't)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wish there were more people in my school who wanted to run for the PTA board. I am running for a low level position because no one wants to. I guess all parents not running think they are above that. I wish we could all seat back and relax and let the school runs itself. Not saying that all PTA are great but if you don’t like what your PTA is doing step up!

Step up my a$$. I did and all I got was threatened and tormented by a bunch of mean girls. Turned out they'd been siphoning the money. Principal covered the whole thing up. We are in private now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish there were more people in my school who wanted to run for the PTA board. I am running for a low level position because no one wants to. I guess all parents not running think they are above that. I wish we could all seat back and relax and let the school runs itself. Not saying that all PTA are great but if you don’t like what your PTA is doing step up!

But the point is that they only want a certain type of person to run. It varies between schools but at my school the entire board consists of overweight frumpy aggressively liberal moms. My friend tried to run for an empty position and they didn't like how she looked, stalked her Facebook profile, deduced she was a Trump supporter from years-old posts and bullied her out. They'd rather have the position unfilled then work with fellow mothers they don't like. And still they whine that no one wants to volunteer! Emails begging to volunteer go unanswered if you aren't part of their crew.

I got similar treatment from a bunch of "Christian" Trump supporters, so apparently mean girls come in all political persuasions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They'll get a new batch of wide-eyed, excited kindergarten moms in August who are looking to "get involved".

The PTA will chew them up and spit them out.

These moms won't go near the PTA with a 10-foot pole for the next 11 years.

The PTA will keep complaining how it never has enough help.

It's the cycle of life.

Yep, this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent!

Why is it that the very people who want to be PTSA presidents are the very people who alienate volunteers? I’ve been a loyal, low-maintenance volunteer on a range of very time-intensive activities from grades K-12 over the years of three DSs in FCPS. Having gone through many PTSA presidents, I’m surprised at how few have had the backs of the volunteers, despite their faux praise at the end-of-year thank you’s. I thought I was alone, until dining over the weekend with other volunteers who are also “graduating” out. Good luck to the new recruits!

In my kiddo’s high school, the presidents of the parent organizations are Debbie downers or control freaks. They probably think others are apathetic, but they make it hard to get involved.

There is a reason that these people are available to take on this extra work!! They are not essential anywhere else in their lives and join these groups to make themselves "feel" important and powerful.

These women could never work in a professional environment - no one would put up with their craziness and incompetence. So they "help" the school instead.

[Anonymous]

I would hope that people would want to volunteer because they want to help their child's school not because they're worried making friends with the other volunteers or mean girl behavior

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our former PTA president physically threatened me in an email. I really wanted to get a TRO/PRO but my husband talked me out of it since it would just mean there'd be a bounty out on my head.

That's why we went private.

If you think that there are no mean girl moms or cliques private school I think you're going to be in for a rude awakening