Passive aggressive PTA leaders

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just a vent!

Why is it that the very people who want to be PTSA presidents are the very people who alienate volunteers? I’ve been a loyal, low-maintenance volunteer on a range of very time-intensive activities from grades K-12 over the years of three DSs in FCPS. Having gone through many PTSA presidents, I’m surprised at how few have had the backs of the volunteers, despite their faux praise at the end-of-year thank you’s. I thought I was alone, until dining over the weekend with other volunteers who are also “graduating” out. Good luck to the new recruits!

In my kiddo’s high school, the presidents of the parent organizations are Debbie downers or control freaks. They probably think others are apathetic, but they make it hard to get involved.

There is a reason that these people are available to take on this extra work!! They are not essential anywhere else in their lives and join these groups to make themselves "feel" important and powerful.

I agree. Uneducated folks who are finally the "CEO" of something.

On the contrary - I know A few of the CVs for these leaders - they are very well educated. They just like to control everything.

[Anonymous]

This must be universal!!! I got chewed up and spit out this year. ... They felt the need to count and recount my cash drawer at the book fair because they thought I couldn't make change. I'm a biochemist. They called me a "baby".. I'm 36 and she's 38. Told me my services weren't needed after I arranged for the toddler to be babysat. Brought in coffee for their crew and ignored all the new faces.

[Anonymous]

Wow such vitriol for the PTA.

I WOHM and managed to volunteer and do a minor PTA Board position without feeling this way.

What I didn't like about the PTA was that they expect board members to take a political stand when it came to county school board elections. I was just there for my kid and her school.

[Anonymous]

I wish some kind of exchange program where all the families that want to volunteer but for whatever reason are alienated from volunteering at their child's school could be paired up with schools that desperately need volunteers? Kind of like peace corps for parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This must be universal!!! I got chewed up and spit out this year. ... They felt the need to count and recount my cash drawer at the book fair because they thought I couldn't make change. I'm a biochemist. They called me a "baby".. I'm 36 and she's 38. Told me my services weren't needed after I arranged for the toddler to be babysat. Brought in coffee for their crew and ignored all the new faces.

I have run dozens of book fairs and double counting money is just standard practice. I'm sorry that you felt disrespected by that process

[Anonymous]

Same at our elementary school. PTA and volunteer coordinator are mean girl types. It’s a shame because I am a former teacher and feel like I could really help out w various things but the moms organizing everything only ask their friends to volunteer. Next year I plan to just reach out directly to my kids’ teachers instead of continually getting rebuffed by the mean girl moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This must be universal!!! I got chewed up and spit out this year. ... They felt the need to count and recount my cash drawer at the book fair because they thought I couldn't make change. I'm a biochemist. They called me a "baby".. I'm 36 and she's 38. Told me my services weren't needed after I arranged for the toddler to be babysat. Brought in coffee for their crew and ignored all the new faces.

I have run dozens of book fairs and double counting money is just standard practice. I'm sorry that you felt disrespected by that process

Yeah it’s required by law. But I don’t doubt that PP was disrespected in the process!

[Anonymous]

I think the issue is many-fold. PTAs are supposed to exist to advocate, not to bridge the school funding gap. https://www.pta.org/home/run-your-pta/one-voice-blog/Is-Your-PTA-an-ATM-for-Your-School But you'd never know this by looking at most schools with active PTAs.

Because we fund public schools by local property taxes, we allow schools to remain hypersegregated and to face an impossible challenge of achieving the same test scores as schools with much smaller economically disadvantaged populations. These low test scores reinforce middle class aversion to sending their children to these schools, which creates a vicious cycle. This is why, almost 70 years after Brown v. Board of Education, we still have an unconscionable system of segregation in our schools.

Meanwhile, MC and UMC parents who see a lot of their neighbors sending their children to private schools experience anxiety that their public school isn't providing enough for their kids (though what exactly those things are, and how they will tangibly make a difference in their child's life is vague). So then you get a PTA that operates on a huge budget to turn a public school into a private one. This requires a huge number of volunteer hours, and often a person with a certain type of personality would want to helm this ship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
What I didn't like about the PTA was that they expect board members to take a political stand when it came to county school board elections. I was just there for my kid and her school.

Ours (thankfully) went the other way. There were a couple of members who wanted the PTA to get involved with school board politics, but the PTA President shut that down refusing to turn the PTA into a political organization. Individual members can say whatever they want to the school board.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Happy to be at a school with a great PTA that is accepting of WOHMs with little time but lots of money to donate.

Me too! Our school has so many SAHMs with money and time just coming out of their ears and the PTA loves it! Not like those stressed-out WOHM-martyrs who can't clear 15 mins in their schedule to spend time helping their kid's school but you can see from their waistlines that they have plenty of time for eating!

[Anonymous]

Our former PTA president physically threatened me in an email. I really wanted to get a TRO/PRO but my husband talked me out of it since it would just mean there'd be a bounty out on my head.

That's why we went private.

[Anonymous]

I wish there were more people in my school who wanted to run for the PTA board. I am running for a low level position because no one wants to. I guess all parents not running think they are above that. I wish we could all seat back and relax and let the school runs itself. Not saying that all PTA are great but if you don’t like what your PTA is doing step up!

[Anonymous]

It does seem cliquey. I have been part of the pta board and also the appreciated/unappreciated volunteer.

My oldest is in middle school and my youngest is starting kindergarten. I haven’t decided how involved I will be yet. I did not like being part of the inner circle because they constantly ask you to help and beg for volunteers. But then they aren’t very welcoming to new volunteers and that is why they don’t want to help again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happy to be at a school with a great PTA that is accepting of WOHMs with little time but lots of money to donate.

Me too! Our school has so many SAHMs with money and time just coming out of their ears and the PTA loves it! Not like those stressed-out WOHM-martyrs who can't clear 15 mins in their schedule to spend time helping their kid's school but you can see from their waistlines that they have plenty of time for eating!

Gosh, what a lovely human being you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It does seem cliquey. I have been part of the pta board and also the appreciated/unappreciated volunteer.

My oldest is in middle school and my youngest is starting kindergarten. I haven’t decided how involved I will be yet. I did not like being part of the inner circle because they constantly ask you to help and beg for volunteers. But then they aren’t very welcoming to new volunteers and that is why they don’t want to help again.

Yeah, I volunteered for a few things at the beginning, and it just became totally clear that there was a clique, I wasn't in it, and no one was going to make any effort to make the new people feel welcome. So I stopped. Lots of good causes I can give my limited time and energy to.