Tell me about regretting your divorce

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not regret it. But it probably would have been easier logistically with kids to stay married and just have an affair until they were a little older. I offered that alternative to divorce. We never had sex but he still said no.

It's an unpopular opinion but I agree that if you can pull off an affair in a low sex marriage it's a much better alternative than divorce. Eventually, your hormones calm down and you can live happily ever after. Many couples that make it to old age together have undiscovered affairs.

how do you know that ‘many’ do that, don’t project, some do but no way that many as you might think

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Our sex life was awful. I cheated and finally left him. I wish we had gone to sex counseling instead.

what do you mean by awful? once in a blue moon? or no Os? does that kind of therapy ever work? you can google it, see it in porn and just try it, if you don’t trust your partner enough to become vulnerable by trying and maybe failing few times on new things then sex is not the issue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Me. It wasn’t my choice and I will never forgive my Ex for giving up on our 20yr+ marriage for “freedom” from responsibility

WOW. My life. She left for "freedom" after a 20+ year relationship and two kids involved. Soon after I found out that she was having an affair because she pretty quickly moved in with him. Now she has her freedom and I have two kids that wonder where mom is and why she left. She comes over a few times a week for dinner with them and then it's freedom. I will never forgive her. Ever.

how about yourself, for sure you had your part in it, no sane person leaves kids if in happy marriage, probably miserable and could not take it anymore

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Me. It wasn’t my choice and I will never forgive my Ex for giving up on our 20yr+ marriage for “freedom” from responsibility

WOW. My life. She left for "freedom" after a 20+ year relationship and two kids involved. Soon after I found out that she was having an affair because she pretty quickly moved in with him. Now she has her freedom and I have two kids that wonder where mom is and why she left. She comes over a few times a week for dinner with them and then it's freedom. I will never forgive her. Ever.

how about yourself, for sure you had your part in it, no sane person leaves kids if in happy marriage, probably miserable and could not take it anymore

He clearly forgot DCUM Rule #1, which is that any marital, relationship, or sexual problem is always 100% the man's fault. If she cheated and left you, that's your fault! You somehow made her do that!

[Anonymous]

Do not regret one thing about it.

[Anonymous]

OP asked only for those who did regret it but I love how this thread is filled with divorcee's eager to justify why their divorce was the best choice - must make you all feel better about your choices.

[Anonymous]

My XH is abusive and I can't regret it. But he blew up my life and it will take me another 5 years to repair the damage. I regret losing 15 uears to this disaster.

[Anonymous]

I regret, but didn’t initiate it. He’s left after inheriting his mom’s estate, after 32 years. Low conflict marriage, keep dps not fully independent. If he had waited a few years, there would have been less collateral damage.

[Anonymous]

Keep dps should be kids not

[Anonymous]

I regret that I had a failed marriage but I don't regret leaving my wife, if that makes sense

It was like living with a cop.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and left my wife and married my AP. But I realized at some point that things would have worked out in my marriage if I had just been more patient and if I hadn’t given in to the temptation of having the affair. It is what it is and I have kids with my second wife now, so that’s what I’m dealing with.

This is golden advice. People hit a rough patch and divorce without waiting it out, working on it. Things change, kids grow up, people mature, values change, sex drives drop, and memories fade. Time heals.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP asked only for those who did regret it but I love how this thread is filled with divorcee's eager to justify why their divorce was the best choice - must make you all feel better about your choices.

Most people don't regret it. Are people supposed to make that up because it would make OP feel like she was finding the answer he/she wants? The fact that this is not filled with responses about huge regrets should tell you and OP something.

And many times, divorce is the best choice. No one should live in bad marriage as a prison sentence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I regret, but didn’t initiate it. He’s left after inheriting his mom’s estate, after 32 years. Low conflict marriage, keep dps not fully independent. If he had waited a few years, there would have been less collateral damage.

Wait longer? After 32 years? That makes no sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and left my wife and married my AP. But I realized at some point that things would have worked out in my marriage if I had just been more patient and if I hadn’t given in to the temptation of having the affair. It is what it is and I have kids with my second wife now, so that’s what I’m dealing with.

This is golden advice. People hit a rough patch and divorce without waiting it out, working on it. Things change, kids grow up, people mature, values change, sex drives drop, and memories fade. Time heals.

Sometimes it is not a "rough patch"; when the whole marriage is bad, it is time to go. Waiting out a "rough patch" was the entire decade of my marriage.

[Anonymous]

I regret what it did to the kids. And I regret that I can’t tell them it’s her behavior that caused it. But I am in a better place personally now. The kids will heal, I hope.