Tell me about regretting your divorce

[Anonymous]

What would you tell others

[Anonymous]

I do not regret it. But it probably would have been easier logistically with kids to stay married and just have an affair until they were a little older. I offered that alternative to divorce. We never had sex but he still said no.

[Anonymous]

I had an affair and left my wife and married my AP. But I realized at some point that things would have worked out in my marriage if I had just been more patient and if I hadn’t given in to the temptation of having the affair. It is what it is and I have kids with my second wife now, so that’s what I’m dealing with.

[Anonymous]

Me. It wasn’t my choice and I will never forgive my Ex for giving up on our 20yr+ marriage for “freedom” from responsibility

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and left my wife and married my AP. But I realized at some point that things would have worked out in my marriage if I had just been more patient and if I hadn’t given in to the temptation of having the affair. It is what it is and I have kids with my second wife now, so that’s what I’m dealing with.

I didn’t cheat but left my wife and once divorced started dating my crush. Things couldn’t be better. My life is better than I ever imagined

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I had an affair and left my wife and married my AP. But I realized at some point that things would have worked out in my marriage if I had just been more patient and if I hadn’t given in to the temptation of having the affair. It is what it is and I have kids with my second wife now, so that’s what I’m dealing with.

I didn’t cheat but left my wife and once divorced started dating my crush. Things couldn’t be better. My life is better than I ever imagined

There’s a big difference between dating someone after you’re divorced and having an affair with someone while you are still married. The guilt of cheating follows a person and is difficult to completely shake off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do not regret it. But it probably would have been easier logistically with kids to stay married and just have an affair until they were a little older. I offered that alternative to divorce. We never had sex but he still said no.

It's an unpopular opinion but I agree that if you can pull off an affair in a low sex marriage it's a much better alternative than divorce. Eventually, your hormones calm down and you can live happily ever after. Many couples that make it to old age together have undiscovered affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not regret it. But it probably would have been easier logistically with kids to stay married and just have an affair until they were a little older. I offered that alternative to divorce. We never had sex but he still said no.

It's an unpopular opinion but I agree that if you can pull off an affair in a low sex marriage it's a much better alternative than divorce. Eventually, your hormones calm down and you can live happily ever after. Many couples that make it to old age together have undiscovered affairs.

I belive this but so uninterested in walking that minefield! Life is stressful enough without having to sneak around and possibly hurt half a dozen other people.

[Anonymous]

I met this man on a work course years ago (nothing romantic) who said he'd left his wife after their first child was born. She went onto remarry eventually and had a bunch more kids. He was still single, years later after pursuing various women (normally younger). And he said it was his biggest regret, that he wished he was the man living with his ex wife and all those kids, that they all were his. It was really heart breaking to hear. He told only me at the time, it wasn't like it was a big room of people, it was in a one-on-one but I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing that could make it better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met this man on a work course years ago (nothing romantic) who said he'd left his wife after their first child was born. She went onto remarry eventually and had a bunch more kids. He was still single, years later after pursuing various women (normally younger). And he said it was his biggest regret, that he wished he was the man living with his ex wife and all those kids, that they all were his. It was really heart breaking to hear. He told only me at the time, it wasn't like it was a big room of people, it was in a one-on-one but I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing that could make it better.

It’s a fantasy in his mind and easy to idealize. But he couldn’t tolerate the impact of one child on the marriage. It doesn’t sound like he was cut out for the life he is imagining.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I met this man on a work course years ago (nothing romantic) who said he'd left his wife after their first child was born. She went onto remarry eventually and had a bunch more kids. He was still single, years later after pursuing various women (normally younger). And he said it was his biggest regret, that he wished he was the man living with his ex wife and all those kids, that they all were his. It was really heart breaking to hear. He told only me at the time, it wasn't like it was a big room of people, it was in a one-on-one but I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing that could make it better.

It’s a fantasy in his mind and easy to idealize. But he couldn’t tolerate the impact of one child on the marriage. It doesn’t sound like he was cut out for the life he is imagining.

Yeah for real!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I met this man on a work course years ago (nothing romantic) who said he'd left his wife after their first child was born. She went onto remarry eventually and had a bunch more kids. He was still single, years later after pursuing various women (normally younger). And he said it was his biggest regret, that he wished he was the man living with his ex wife and all those kids, that they all were his. It was really heart breaking to hear. He told only me at the time, it wasn't like it was a big room of people, it was in a one-on-one but I didn't know what to say, because there was nothing that could make it better.

He was saying this to get in your pants. Any man who leaves his wife with a young child is trash.

[Anonymous]

Our sex life was awful. I cheated and finally left him. I wish we had gone to sex counseling instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Me. It wasn’t my choice and I will never forgive my Ex for giving up on our 20yr+ marriage for “freedom” from responsibility

WOW. My life. She left for "freedom" after a 20+ year relationship and two kids involved. Soon after I found out that she was having an affair because she pretty quickly moved in with him. Now she has her freedom and I have two kids that wonder where mom is and why she left. She comes over a few times a week for dinner with them and then it's freedom. I will never forgive her. Ever.

[Anonymous]

My ex-wife was a drug addict who was verbally and physically abusive. I've never had any regrets.