Teens and Birth Control

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry- and "by the same" I just meant as a group - did not mean that it is not possible for teens to be abstinent or that ALL are alike- just more so the norms on the whole.

Are you speaking about a specific school? I don't understand the "norm". It hasn't been the "norm" for us that 'most" kids have sex.

Do the kids in your school typically call the parents after doing it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry- and "by the same" I just meant as a group - did not mean that it is not possible for teens to be abstinent or that ALL are alike- just more so the norms on the whole.

Are you speaking about a specific school? I don't understand the "norm". It hasn't been the "norm" for us that 'most" kids have sex.

There are certain groups of kids where it is the NORM to have sex. Hookups. The cool crowd . DD had a BF but dumped him because he cheated on her. BF is part of the cool crowd and is a worthless piece of trash. The girls and guys have random interchanges with people the other was with . Nothing special for any.

The Hills is mild compared to this crew.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry- and "by the same" I just meant as a group - did not mean that it is not possible for teens to be abstinent or that ALL are alike- just more so the norms on the whole.

Are you speaking about a specific school? I don't understand the "norm". It hasn't been the "norm" for us that 'most" kids have sex.

Do the kids in your school typically call the parents after doing it?

No-but shit floats to the top and sometimes parents end up hearing it. Upset DD or DS. Used condoms laying around the floor. STD. Anything is possible.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry- and "by the same" I just meant as a group - did not mean that it is not possible for teens to be abstinent or that ALL are alike- just more so the norms on the whole.

Are you speaking about a specific school? I don't understand the "norm". It hasn't been the "norm" for us that 'most" kids have sex.

Do the kids in your school typically call the parents after doing it?

No-but shit floats to the top and sometimes parents end up hearing it. Upset DD or DS. Used condoms laying around the floor. STD. Anything is possible.

My point was to the PP insisting it did NOT happen.

I was a straight A student in HS with a 25 year old BF - my parents had NO idea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone planning to encourage abstinence - at least through the teen years?

because that's realistic.

I watched my best friend have a baby at 18 and turn her life upside down. Didn't take more than that for me to exercise some self control in my own life.
I now preach abstinence to my 3 kids (11, 15 and 18) in much the same was as I expect them to control themselves when it comes to alcohol and drugs. They are all athletes and solid students so they have reminders of what they have to lose if they screw up.

When I was in high school in the 80's, our class president (also a star athlete) became pregnant, as did several other athletes and A-students. Kids at that age are physically incapable of having the same kind of insight as adults, well, most adults.

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=124119468

[Anonymous]

Is abstinence really that impossible?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is abstinence really that impossible?

Not as a personal choice. The problem is that kids who have been inculcated with abstinence "training" have exactly the same rates of sex as those who don't (albeit they tend to wait a year or so longer). The only difference is that the abstinence kids have significantly higher rates of STDs and pregnancy.

[Anonymous]

Abstinence just doesn't work. They will have sex as soon as THEY think they are ready. For some kids, that will be 13, for others, it will much later. Giving kids birth control is not going to encourage them to have sex, it's just going to protect them if they do.

[Anonymous]

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/08/15/AR2010081501639.html?hpid=sec-health

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a son, age 13, so I'm sitting this parenting experience out but here's what I would do if I had a daughter: I would tell her to tell me the second she becomes sexually active and I would put her on the pill. Condoms and diaphragms are notoriously ineffective. In sex ed classes, all they do is promote abstinence and condoms and they never bother to mention that condoms are not all that reliable. It drives me nuts. This is what my friend with two older daughters did with the input of their pediatrician.

I take my pill the same time every single day and have for more than 10 years. The only difference is that I now put them up higher in the medicine cabinet so my 5 yr old can't reach them. The pill isn't completely effective either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a son, age 13, so I'm sitting this parenting experience out but here's what I would do if I had a daughter: I would tell her to tell me the second she becomes sexually active and I would put her on the pill. Condoms and diaphragms are notoriously ineffective. In sex ed classes, all they do is promote abstinence and condoms and they never bother to mention that condoms are not all that reliable. It drives me nuts. This is what my friend with two older daughters did with the input of their pediatrician.

I take my pill the same time every single day and have for more than 10 years. The only difference is that I now put them up higher in the medicine cabinet so my 5 yr old can't reach them. The pill isn't completely effective either.

If my DD was sexually active I would put her on the pill. Hopefully she will be in a real relationship not with some bro who expects her to "put out." There is a rather disgusting term "raw dog" meaning sex sans condom. Girls who are on the pill might make the mistake of not using a condom and these guys figure out she's on the pill. Or she tells them.

[Anonymous]

OK, this is a really naive question but my kids are 9 and 10 so I haven't had to deal with this yet. And understand that I didn't have sex until college. But when do these younger teenagers get the opportunity to have sex? When are they in a situation where they are unsupervised enough that they could?

[Anonymous]

Great question, 17:40. I had sex as soon as I got to college (bad idea), but in high school my parents really didn't provide me with opportunities, unless we're talking about back seat of the car after a movie date. Gross.

[Anonymous]

Once kids are 12 or 13 they are legally old enough to come home from school and hang out by themselves untill their parents come home.

Certainly by the time they are 14 or 15, kids will no longer want to be in afterschool supervised care. They may stay after school for clubs and athletics, or they may not.

Even if a parent is home at your house, they may go to a friend's house (with no adult present) and they can hook up with a member of the opposite sex there.

[Anonymous]

In addition they hook up (oral sex) in the bathrooms at school.