What would you do, distant relative edition

[Anonymous]

Your mother should not, under any circumstances, open the door if he arrives. She's too kind. Since she will not be able to say no to him so she needs to do what she can. Maybe that means sitting quietly in her living room for a while, but if that's what it takes, do it. If he reaches out later she can say overnight guests are not allowed in her new place. But I agree with others that blocking his contact is the least stressful. New phone, sorry - lost your number.

Frankly the same goes for you.

[Anonymous]

OP, if you don't have the confidence or skill to handle this confrontation, you need to enlist someone you know who can and have that person speak for your mom.

[Anonymous]

He asks (you think "expects") ... YOU SAY NO

I would ignore his calls/attempts to reach you completely. You don't respect him. You don't want to see him.

How about you learn to say, "no". That too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been in almost the exact same situation. I did use my anger to call the guy and tell him, and his kids (who were not taking responsibility for their parent), that he was not welcome at my mom’s and to find other accommodations. Also had my husband do some of the talking as he’s a lot more assertive than I am.

Good luck. This is stressful but look at it as standing up for your mom.

Why were HIS kids responsible for HIS actions?
They are are going to make do or not do something?
You are crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been in almost the exact same situation. I did use my anger to call the guy and tell him, and his kids (who were not taking responsibility for their parent), that he was not welcome at my mom’s and to find other accommodations. Also had my husband do some of the talking as he’s a lot more assertive than I am.

Good luck. This is stressful but look at it as standing up for your mom.

Why were HIS kids responsible for HIS actions?
They are are going to make do or not do something?
You are crazy.

I don't necessarily think that PP is crazy. While kids are not necessarily responsible for their parents' actions, the parent may heed them if they say something to the effect of "Dad, you know that you are not welcome at Cousin Joanna's any more. Do not show up unannounced."

[Anonymous]

restraining order