Adult niece wants nothing to do with me

[Anonymous]

"Extremely close" seems like a red flag to me. What do you mean by this Op? Sounds like sharing too much. And now she doesn't want to do that.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you are not close with her parents. Are they upset with you for some reason?

I keep a certain aunt/uncle of mine at arms length after they had a big falling out with parents. Too awkward.

[Anonymous]

I would remove her from my will, or from the family trust.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would occasionally contact her for her birthday and holidays and leave it at that. You could ask her what is wrong, but I would not pursue it if she is not open to talking about it.

Her birthday is coming up so I will contact her for that and send her gift.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you are not close with her parents. Are they upset with you for some reason?

I keep a certain aunt/uncle of mine at arms length after they had a big falling out with parents. Too awkward.

You're right that I'm not close to her parents but they didn't seem to mind our relationship. Maybe that's changed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You spent her life smothering and judging her. Now she wants space and freedom.

I've been so careful never to be judgmental but can understand if she needs more space and freedom now.

I just miss her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would occasionally contact her for her birthday and holidays and leave it at that. You could ask her what is wrong, but I would not pursue it if she is not open to talking about it.

Her birthday is coming up so I will contact her for that and send her gift.

Why would you spend time and money on an adult who willfully treats you like dirt? Don’t be a doormat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would occasionally contact her for her birthday and holidays and leave it at that. You could ask her what is wrong, but I would not pursue it if she is not open to talking about it.

Her birthday is coming up so I will contact her for that and send her gift.

Why would you spend time and money on an adult who willfully treats you like dirt? Don’t be a doormat.

+1. She clearly doesn’t appreciate your efforts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She's your niece not your daughter. If she doesn't want you in her life, stop prying. You don't have any legal or family right to "be in her life". She's just your niece. Now if she was your daughter it would be different.

Most kids as they entire young adulthood don't want anything to do with adults. You may have did something that upset her and you don't know it. Or, just give her space to live her life. Seems like you want to be part of her life and she doesn't. So, stop prying.

Actually know one has any “legal or family right” to keep pursuing an unwanted relationship with another able minded adult

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would occasionally contact her for her birthday and holidays and leave it at that. You could ask her what is wrong, but I would not pursue it if she is not open to talking about it.

Her birthday is coming up so I will contact her for that and send her gift.

Why would you spend time and money on an adult who willfully treats you like dirt? Don’t be a doormat.

You're right, thank you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would occasionally contact her for her birthday and holidays and leave it at that. You could ask her what is wrong, but I would not pursue it if she is not open to talking about it.

Her birthday is coming up so I will contact her for that and send her gift.

Why would you spend time and money on an adult who willfully treats you like dirt? Don’t be a doormat.

+1. She clearly doesn’t appreciate your efforts.

No, she doesn't. It's time for me to stop being a doormat. Thanks for the support.

[Anonymous]

I would just keep loving her, Auntie, and give her the space she needs. She may be going through something that you can’t see. Your constant love may be what she needs, even if she is not reciprocating in kind right now. I know you miss her. But she is a young person and might be in a dark place. Please think of her and not just how much you hurt. Send her occasional hellos and indications of your love.

Try to approach her silence with curiosity and concern rather than condemnation.