School wants to meet over toddler behavior

[Anonymous]

She doesn't do these things at home because home life is probably catered towards what she wants. She can pull down stuff off her playroom walls and you don't care because it's your playroom. She can grab food off your plate and you don't care because she's your daughter. It's great you keep a good sleep routine. Now work on her not getting her way all the time at home. Make sure she knows what is okay and what is off limits. If she wants food from your plate, get up and put some on a plate for her, don't let her grab from your plate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who teach two year olds have a really good sense of how typical two year olds behave and respond to redirection. If they're saying the behavior warrants a conversation and some problem solving, then it probably does.

+1

+2. Go in with an open mind and ability to hear. They soul do all for a meeting if it was normal behavior.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 year old (2 years and 8 months to be exact), whose teacher wants to meet with me concerning her behavior. I am not sure if I am being biased here, so just wanted to ask other experienced moms. She is concerned with what I think are normal toddler behaviors- restless during nap time at times and talking to other kids while napping, ripping off pictures from walls, trying to eat other kids' snacks. The teacher reassured me that she doesn't do anything maliciously and is nice to other kids. Maybe I am too lax, but I am not sure that this warrants a meeting or any intervention, other than discipline and redirection from the teacher. I don't really experience these behaviors at home with her. Honestly, it seems like she may be picking on her more than is necessary. Thoughts?

Yes, it warrants a meeting. Your daughter is struggling at school.

Is this a daycare (meaning eight hours)? Your daughter may well be done with napping.

[Anonymous]

I agree with you OP. I think this is within normal for 2 yr old behavior. Not that it is good, obviously it isn’t, but she isn’t doing anything too wild IMO. I think the teacher is likely going to suggest her not staying for nap and doing a half day. That they can’t manage her behavior as is, all day. Which is reasonable. Because really, this is the teachers job to manage. You aren’t there to do anything when she is being problematic. And giving a 2 yr old consequences for something that happened 5 yrs earlier in the bad isn’t effective. So…either the school manages this or they say they can’t at all, or they can’t do it all day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a 2 year old (2 years and 8 months to be exact), whose teacher wants to meet with me concerning her behavior. I am not sure if I am being biased here, so just wanted to ask other experienced moms. She is concerned with what I think are normal toddler behaviors- restless during nap time at times and talking to other kids while napping, ripping off pictures from walls, trying to eat other kids' snacks. The teacher reassured me that she doesn't do anything maliciously and is nice to other kids. Maybe I am too lax, but I am not sure that this warrants a meeting or any intervention, other than discipline and redirection from the teacher. I don't really experience these behaviors at home with her. Honestly, it seems like she may be picking on her more than is necessary. Thoughts?

Yes, it warrants a meeting. Your daughter is struggling at school.

Is this a daycare (meaning eight hours)? Your daughter may well be done with napping.

Thank you. Naps have been hit or miss at home. Even if she doesn’t nap, she still gets quiet time in her crib at home.

When do kids usually drop naps? I’m guessing it varies wildly, but just wondering what is the norm. Yes, she is there for 8 hours.

[Anonymous]

My kids dropped their naps fairly young because they slept a solid consistent 12.5-13 hours a night at that age. So by 3 naps were spotty and by 3.5 they were done. (They weren’t in daycare so just had quite time in their rooms.)

But I agree the other behaviors are not typical and probably do need to be addressed. This doesn’t mean something is “wrong” with her or she is damaged or something, just needs some attention. NBD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who teach two year olds have a really good sense of how typical two year olds behave and respond to redirection. If they're saying the behavior warrants a conversation and some problem solving, then it probably does.

Yep, this right here.

[Anonymous]

update Op?

[Anonymous]

I always worry about my son who just turned 3, but for different behaviors. He is very jealous of his things and might push away a child who is trying to grab his toy. I think the same applies to food. My son would not take someone else’s food but might push away your daughter if she tries to get his food.

I do think it’s a little strange that your daughter just grabs other kids’ food, but it might also be a problem because a kid like mine would get really upset if she took his food (and might push her away).

You need to think about how your daughter’s behAvior can affect other kids and how they might react to it. In my case, my son can’t bring any toy from home because if he does, it’s only normal that the other kids might want to touch/play with them and my son will get upset. In your case, your daughter can’t take other kids’ food because kids are not adults that wouldn’t react…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I always worry about my son who just turned 3, but for different behaviors. He is very jealous of his things and might push away a child who is trying to grab his toy. I think the same applies to food. My son would not take someone else’s food but might push away your daughter if she tries to get his food.

I do think it’s a little strange that your daughter just grabs other kids’ food, but it might also be a problem because a kid like mine would get really upset if she took his food (and might push her away).

You need to think about how your daughter’s behAvior can affect other kids and how they might react to it. In my case, my son can’t bring any toy from home because if he does, it’s only normal that the other kids might want to touch/play with them and my son will get upset. In your case, your daughter can’t take other kids’ food because kids are not adults that wouldn’t react…

I have two toddlers and I think the way that your daughter acts at school would be fine if she were at home with family. I mean, it's not great behavior, but it's definitely within the realm of normal. The issue is that your daughter doesn't realize that she can't act the way she acts at home at school. I think it's expected that kids will let off steam and let loose at home, but at school and in other public venues they need to know that they should keep it together. I never specifically taught this to my children, but they seem to have picked up on this. I think you need to try to actively teach this to your daughter.

Relatedly, is this an 8 hour preschool or only 3 hours? Keeping it together for 8 hours is very hard and I would hope the preschool would realize that and work with her. I would consider if there have there been any changes in your family life that would throw her off (new baby, parent has a new job, fighting at home, move, less involvement from grandparent, not getting enough sleep, change of schedule and not as much time to eat breakfast and/or dinner). For the preschool, I would want to ask about alternatives during nap, if the kids all get the same food or if they bring different foods, if your kid is getting enough opportunities to go outside and run around, and how much control kids have over activities they participate in and the extent to which they participate in activities during class.

[Anonymous]

I'm the mom of that kid and have had several meetings with the teacher this year regarding my 3yo.

1. I appreciate that the teacher cares enough to address these things with me and include me in the conversation.

2. You have to remember that the teacher see a whole group of your child's peers every day for years. It's glaringly obvious to her when a child's behaviors is not developmentally aligned with the rest of the class.