School wants to meet over toddler behavior

[Anonymous]

I have a 2 year old (2 years and 8 months to be exact), whose teacher wants to meet with me concerning her behavior. I am not sure if I am being biased here, so just wanted to ask other experienced moms. She is concerned with what I think are normal toddler behaviors- restless during nap time at times and talking to other kids while napping, ripping off pictures from walls, trying to eat other kids' snacks. The teacher reassured me that she doesn't do anything maliciously and is nice to other kids. Maybe I am too lax, but I am not sure that this warrants a meeting or any intervention, other than discipline and redirection from the teacher. I don't really experience these behaviors at home with her. Honestly, it seems like she may be picking on her more than is necessary. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

Ripping off pictures from walls? No, that's not normal almost 3 year old behavior.

You should listen to what the teacher has to say before drawing any conclusions.

[Anonymous]

You haven't even had the meeting yet. Listen to what she has to say and then come back to us.

[Anonymous]

Ripping stuff off the walls is not normal behavior for that age. Does she have any siblings at home? It sounds like she may be used to everyone catering to her at home and hasn't learned how to function in an environment where she isn't everyone's sole focus.

[Anonymous]

OP just go in with an open mind. Listen to the teacher, and figure out how to help- don't be defensive, it doesn't help anyone.

Just remember, everyone is on the same team here- helping your kid learn/grow.

[Anonymous]

Not normal. Taking other kids’ snacks and ripping pictures off the wall are really way beyond normal - especially the pictures.

[Anonymous]

People who teach two year olds have a really good sense of how typical two year olds behave and respond to redirection. If they're saying the behavior warrants a conversation and some problem solving, then it probably does.

[Anonymous]

Don't go on the defensive before you hear the teacher out. They are pretty good at determining what's normal and what's not. Go to the meeting and hear them out before deciding that they are just picking on your daughter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ripping stuff off the walls is not normal behavior for that age. Does she have any siblings at home? It sounds like she may be used to everyone catering to her at home and hasn't learned how to function in an environment where she isn't everyone's sole focus.

No, only child, though we have plenty of play dates. I have thought that maybe being an only child contributes to this, and her class size has recently grown by a lot suddenly.

[Anonymous]

I’ll add, when I say ripping off the wall, it’s not like out of rage or anything like that. She’ll take what she drew or something else she likes and want to take it home.

[Anonymous]

Any ideas how I can help my child? I’m stumped bc again, I don’t see this behavior at home. I did ask her teacher today bc she thought I was doing well by keeping a regimen at home (we are strict with her routines and rarely deviate unless we are on vacation or it’s a holiday). But that was it. This is so stressful!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll add, when I say ripping off the wall, it’s not like out of rage or anything like that. She’ll take what she drew or something else she likes and want to take it home.

It sounds like she's having a very hard time following rules, in general. Which is a problem.

Rare dcum consensus - go in with an open mind, listen, don't be defensive, be willing to work on what needs working on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ll add, when I say ripping off the wall, it’s not like out of rage or anything like that. She’ll take what she drew or something else she likes and want to take it home.

Yeah you’re minimizing. As PP said, rare consensus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Any ideas how I can help my child? I’m stumped bc again, I don’t see this behavior at home. I did ask her teacher today bc she thought I was doing well by keeping a regimen at home (we are strict with her routines and rarely deviate unless we are on vacation or it’s a holiday). But that was it. This is so stressful!

I think the obvious first thing you do is go talk to the teacher with an open mind, and hear what they have to say. They will probably have suggestions.

I wonder with the wiggling at nap time thing if you're putting her to bed super early like DCUM likes. She should be napping during nap time. If that means you need to keep her up later night that's a win/win since she gets more attention from you, and she'll sleep better at school.

I'd also say that a regimen that's too strict doesn't give kids practice with handling novelty, waiting for things, etc . . You want to find that authoritarian but not authoritative balance.

But first, listen to what they have to say.

[Anonymous]

It sounds like she’s being more disruptive than your average toddler. If these were one-off incidents, they wouldn’t call you in for a special meeting.

Keep an open mind and work with them. But you seem to already be skeptical/potentially defensive, which doesn’t bode well. Daycare and preschool teachers are very patient, in my experience. Just be open to working with them. They want the best for your kid just like you do.