Change My View: Romantic Love isn't real

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IF you are living and raising a family day in and day out for 50 years, the intensity of that lust-like, crazed addiction feeling of the first few years will tamper down. Even those that fell 'romantically in love' will have fights over laundry or kids or household chores. Ain't nothing romantic about the nitty gritty of daily living and working. But, hopefully there is a trust and deeper connection that builds over time and sustains the connection. Periods of intensity will come and go over the years. It needs to be stoked. The 'idea' of romantic love is always filled with drama of not being able to be fulfilled or together--but those are people not living real life together. It's escapism.

Bingo

And messed up people go chasing that 'new relationship energy' that is fleeting because they have no idea what 'real love' is. As soon as their crotch dies down a bit, they are out chasing new D or V.

It's escapism as you said. We're all human. As long as it ends at fantasy, it's fine.

Only as long as either party is MARRIED to someone else, then it's fine. Two single people can do whatever they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IF you are living and raising a family day in and day out for 50 years, the intensity of that lust-like, crazed addiction feeling of the first few years will tamper down. Even those that fell 'romantically in love' will have fights over laundry or kids or household chores. Ain't nothing romantic about the nitty gritty of daily living and working. But, hopefully there is a trust and deeper connection that builds over time and sustains the connection. Periods of intensity will come and go over the years. It needs to be stoked. The 'idea' of romantic love is always filled with drama of not being able to be fulfilled or together--but those are people not living real life together. It's escapism.

Bingo

And messed up people go chasing that 'new relationship energy' that is fleeting because they have no idea what 'real love' is. As soon as their crotch dies down a bit, they are out chasing new D or V.

It's escapism as you said. We're all human. As long as it ends at fantasy, it's fine.

Only as long as either party is MARRIED to someone else, then it's fine. Two single people can do whatever they want.

*not married to someone else

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:IF you are living and raising a family day in and day out for 50 years, the intensity of that lust-like, crazed addiction feeling of the first few years will tamper down. Even those that fell 'romantically in love' will have fights over laundry or kids or household chores. Ain't nothing romantic about the nitty gritty of daily living and working. But, hopefully there is a trust and deeper connection that builds over time and sustains the connection. Periods of intensity will come and go over the years. It needs to be stoked. The 'idea' of romantic love is always filled with drama of not being able to be fulfilled or together--but those are people not living real life together. It's escapism.

Bingo

And messed up people go chasing that 'new relationship energy' that is fleeting because they have no idea what 'real love' is. As soon as their crotch dies down a bit, they are out chasing new D or V.

It's escapism as you said. We're all human. As long as it ends at fantasy, it's fine.

Only as long as either party is MARRIED to someone else, then it's fine. Two single people can do whatever they want.

*not married to someone else

That's umm quite the Freudian slip

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: To me, a soulmate is someone you learn to go through life with in a worthwhile way. It’s not destiny, it’s effort and time.

just saw it somewhere recently ... soulmate means 'you are here for me when I need it' ... not necessarily want to rip off my clothes but feel my pain if in pain, feel my joy if happy, and so on

[Anonymous]

It’s always hottest when you are equals. Yes, it exists. It can be hard to find. Mutual respect for one another. No one is in the relationship for some hand out - whether money or turning into a plastic surgery doll.

[Anonymous]

Don't need to change your view. Just means you're not worthy of romantic love. Blessings on this easter weekend!

[Anonymous]

when you’ll feel like s/he’s guessing your thoughts, you’ll find what soulmate means … if yesterday you thought of something and today s/he is doing or saying exactly that thing, without any clue, that’s true connection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
when you’ll feel like s/he’s guessing your thoughts, you’ll find what soulmate means … if yesterday you thought of something and today s/he is doing or saying exactly that thing, without any clue, that’s true connection

This sounds a tad boring tbh. I appreciate that DH broadens my perspective, and hopefully the reverse holds too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
when you’ll feel like s/he’s guessing your thoughts, you’ll find what soulmate means … if yesterday you thought of something and today s/he is doing or saying exactly that thing, without any clue, that’s true connection

This sounds a tad boring tbh. I appreciate that DH broadens my perspective, and hopefully the reverse holds too.

+1. I am a lovely person, but i wouldn't want to be with me or someone who thinks like me.. Lol. I like that DH and I have completely different strengths and weaknesses. He stresses over new things, and I love new challenges. He is very good with routines. And I struggle once the challenging phase is over. It makes it easier for us to step in and help or encourage each other. We are like 2 halves of a complete person.

[Anonymous]

I'm not convincing you of anything. Clearly you've been doing life all wrong. Sorry about that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:why should anyone work to change your view, you sound like a major buzzkill

Exactly.

[Anonymous]

It’s good to be compatible but both should have different strengths and weaknesses to tackle world as a stronger team.

[Anonymous]

Romantic love is fine if you are in it with someone who respects you, but it takes time to know if that is actually the case. All too often people fall into a trap of thinking they’ve found their soul mate, and it blinds them to a lot of not so good things the other person is doing. If it seems to be too good to be true, it probably is. You need to take it slow and steady to know if someone has good intentions and is right for you.

[Anonymous]

I love a lot of people. Some for many years. Add sexual attraction that lasts and that’s romantic love.

The problem I think is sexual attraction doesn’t last. Not that love doesn’t last.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
when you’ll feel like s/he’s guessing your thoughts, you’ll find what soulmate means … if yesterday you thought of something and today s/he is doing or saying exactly that thing, without any clue, that’s true connection

This sounds a tad boring tbh. I appreciate that DH broadens my perspective, and hopefully the reverse holds too.

+1. I am a lovely person, but i wouldn't want to be with me or someone who thinks like me.. Lol. I like that DH and I have completely different strengths and weaknesses. He stresses over new things, and I love new challenges. He is very good with routines. And I struggle once the challenging phase is over. It makes it easier for us to step in and help or encourage each other. We are like 2 halves of a complete person.

ok, you don’t know what you don’t know, ignorance is bliss