Change My View: Romantic Love isn't real

[Anonymous]

I view romantic love as a combination of biological chemicals and societal expectations that make a rich man and a young woman, come together, get married and procreate to create a family unit.

We all fall in love multiple times in our lives and there is nothing special about one couple vs another.

There is not such thing as sole mates or true love or meant to be etc etc

[Anonymous]

I disagree. I have felt it once. I have never felt that way about anyone else.

[Anonymous]

It IS real but not ever-lasting. It's like chocolate in your mouth, sweet taste while it lasts. You need an ember fire for ever lasting love, not burning fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I view romantic love as a combination of biological chemicals and societal expectations that make a rich man and a young woman, come together, get married and procreate to create a family unit.

We all fall in love multiple times in our lives and there is nothing special about one couple vs another.

There is not such thing as sole mates or true love or meant to be etc etc

All of these statements in the bold contradict one another or a non sequitor to the premise. Why would romantic love being a combination of X and Y make it any less real? If it’s not real, how do we fall in love multiple times? Why would romantic love have to be real in order for soul mates to be real?

Your logic is bananas. I have a feeling nothing would change your views. Perhaps falling in love might

[Anonymous]

Or why would soul mates not being real mean that romantic love isn’t real*, rather.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It IS real but not ever-lasting. It's like chocolate in your mouth, sweet taste while it lasts. You need an ember fire for ever lasting love, not burning fire.

Again, wrong.

[Anonymous]

I do feel that we are "programmed." Chemicals make us attracted to a person, chemicals make us want to have sex and procreate, chemicals make a baby attached to mama, chemicals make mama attached to baby, etc.

Why this one person over another person? Conditioning makes us attracted to people who share traits with our parents, conditioning makes us susceptible to physical beauty, conditioning makes us go for a relationship pattern that feels familiar (for better or worse).

There may even be some way that a person is attracted to another person with complementary genes - make stronger children, but I have no idea how that mechanism works.

[Anonymous]

Fire is a chemical reaction. Is fire not real? Cooking is a series of chemical reactions. Is the food not changed? Batteries are a chemical reaction, is your phone not allowing you access to this site?

Why is a chemical reaction being labeled 'fake'? Humans are biological creatures and almost everything about us is some type of biological reaction and feedback loop. Why would our emotions be different? Depression is due to an overproduction of a chemical in our brains, is depression fake?

Of course love and happiness is fueled by chemistry, our brains are fueled by chemistry. I quite like the way the chemicals that fuel romantic love make me feel. And so I stoke them by nurturing my romantic relationship. With a an of average financial value hahaha. But just like I am a person who does not like olives but who has always loved macaroni and cheese, I have found the macaroni and cheese of people in my husband. All of our individual biologies have individual slight preferences that direct us towards being attracted to different people.

You are clearly an incel, the way you are talking, but this is a stupid argument, even for an incel.

[Anonymous]

Fire is a chemical reaction. Is fire not real? Cooking is a series of chemical reactions. Is the food not changed? Batteries are a chemical reaction, is your phone not allowing you access to this site?

Why is a chemical reaction being labeled 'fake'? Humans are biological creatures and almost everything about us is some type of biological reaction and feedback loop. Why would our emotions be different? Depression is due to an overproduction of a chemical in our brains, is depression fake?

Of course love and happiness is fueled by chemistry, our brains are fueled by chemistry. I quite like the way the chemicals that fuel romantic love make me feel. And so I stoke them by nurturing my romantic relationship

Agree with all of this, especially the conclusion. I cut off the rest of her quote, because then it got a bit odd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS real but not ever-lasting. It's like chocolate in your mouth, sweet taste while it lasts. You need an ember fire for ever lasting love, not burning fire.

Again, wrong.

Thank you (probably divorced) Love Doctor! LOL

[Anonymous]

What does rich man and young woman have to do with anything OP?

[Anonymous]

Yes, it's real but it's not unconditional.

[Anonymous]

When you’re in it it’s as real as it gets, if you’re careful with each other what you build during the storm of chemicals can see you through the next 20 years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It IS real but not ever-lasting. It's like chocolate in your mouth, sweet taste while it lasts. You need an ember fire for ever lasting love, not burning fire.

Again, wrong.

NP. No, that PP is right and phrases it very well: "You need an ember fire for ever lasting love, not burning fire." Just because you have not experienced what the PP is describing does not mean it doesn't exist anywhere, for anyone. Your experience is not universally applicable. Just blurting "Wrong" does not make PP wrong.

I think OP and many, many others have heard too much of the "soul mate" nonsense that our culture, the media we consume, and sites like this one perpetuate. So many posts here over the years from frustrated people saying they want to leave someone they supposedly love because "the spark is gone" etc. That is immature love, always expecting sparks and fireworks and magic daily. Mature love, love of the whole person, is based on much more than physical attraction and chemistry, wonderful as those things are.

But there is no way to convince those like OP or others who have either been burned by love, or never experienced a mature, committed love.

[Anonymous]

Don’t get swayed by curated social media stories of love.