OLD buzz words / phrases that make you swipe left?

[Anonymous]

Woman here:
-if you took a selfie with the phone visible in it
-if your selfie is in the gym, in your car, or in the bathroom
-if you have tattoos
-if you are wearing jewelry
-if you include a photo that is specifically posing to show off your physique (like a bodybuilder type one as opposed to one where you are looking hot while doing something else)
-if your photos include a minor child who is not de-identified
-if you click yes on drugs, pot or smoking
-if you included a baby picture or photo of yourself as a child
-if you tell me all the things I should not be in your profile
-if you attempt to make a put-down sound like a joke in your profile
-if your text includes all anything has to offer
-if you use the word "journey."

I swipe left.

[Anonymous]

It was cute in spring/summer of 2020, but a mask photo now means you must have jacked up teeth you’re trying to hide.

And please don’t make us play Where’s Waldo trying to find you in your photos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pronouns in bio

+1. MAGA references as well. Either political extreme is a no-go for me.

Not the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is what “no drama please” translates to most of the time:
· I lack the depth to handle any form of conflict, healthy or otherwise
· I have outrageous intimacy issues
· I have huge amounts of unresolved baggage that I don’t plan to address but will most likely project on to my newfound partner, subconsciously or otherwise
· I am misogynistic and find my partner’s emotions are irrelevant
· I’m a laid back, drama free dude with zero self-awareness
· I lack emotional intelligence
· I was seriously just after a one-night stand and nothing else, no strings huh?

+1

[Anonymous]

"No drama" is a red flag. It's basically a guy telling you that he's not interested in a woman who has needs or measurable levels of self esteem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Woman here:
-if you took a selfie with the phone visible in it
-if your selfie is in the gym, in your car, or in the bathroom
-if you have tattoos
-if you are wearing jewelry
-if you include a photo that is specifically posing to show off your physique (like a bodybuilder type one as opposed to one where you are looking hot while doing something else)
-if your photos include a minor child who is not de-identified
-if you click yes on drugs, pot or smoking
-if you included a baby picture or photo of yourself as a child
-if you tell me all the things I should not be in your profile
-if you attempt to make a put-down sound like a joke in your profile
-if your text includes all anything has to offer
-if you use the word "journey."

I swipe left.

I'm a straight woman, but your list makes me think you're really difficult and overly picky. Do you have a lot of cats, by any chance?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"No drama" is a red flag. It's basically a guy telling you that he's not interested in a woman who has needs or measurable levels of self esteem.

Or a woman telling you that she's in constant fights with her "best friends" and the cops are on a first-name basis with her last 3 boyfriends.

[Anonymous]

Anyone who is negative, like, "Are there any real women on here?" Or who lists a bunch of things they don't want.

No ethically non-monogamous.

If all the selfies are in a car, I assume he is married. If he posts pics of his kids I assume he is an idiot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what “no drama please” translates to most of the time:
· I lack the depth to handle any form of conflict, healthy or otherwise
· I have outrageous intimacy issues
· I have huge amounts of unresolved baggage that I don’t plan to address but will most likely project on to my newfound partner, subconsciously or otherwise
· I am misogynistic and find my partner’s emotions are irrelevant
· I’m a laid back, drama free dude with zero self-awareness
· I lack emotional intelligence
· I was seriously just after a one-night stand and nothing else, no strings huh?

Who tries to date looking for conflict? Save the conflict for when you’ve got some sort of commitment. If you give someone a reason to walk away from a relative stranger, he will walk away.

Who tries to date looking to not have conflict and growth? A long term relationship is growth with someone. You are basically advertising that you can't handle a long term relationship.

A lie. Dealing with crises with your life partner is one thing. Dealing with a relative stranger’s mess on date 3 is another.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is what “no drama please” translates to most of the time:
· I lack the depth to handle any form of conflict, healthy or otherwise
· I have outrageous intimacy issues
· I have huge amounts of unresolved baggage that I don’t plan to address but will most likely project on to my newfound partner, subconsciously or otherwise
· I am misogynistic and find my partner’s emotions are irrelevant
· I’m a laid back, drama free dude with zero self-awareness
· I lack emotional intelligence
· I was seriously just after a one-night stand and nothing else, no strings huh?

Who tries to date looking for conflict? Save the conflict for when you’ve got some sort of commitment. If you give someone a reason to walk away from a relative stranger, he will walk away.

Who tries to date looking to not have conflict and growth? A long term relationship is growth with someone. You are basically advertising that you can't handle a long term relationship.

But then you just don’t date that person or stop dating. What have you lost other than an evening or something small. Profiles for long term relationships are about long term relationships. Not date 3.

A lie. Dealing with crises with your life partner is one thing. Dealing with a relative stranger’s mess on date 3 is another.

[Anonymous]

Sorry I didn’t respond correctly putting my response above yours but I always thought people’s profiles were 1. More about them than others because that’s who they know and 2. More about who they are long term and want long term. Not who they are after date 3 or what date 3 will look like. Do you have a lot of drama on a 3rd date? That’s weird to me. Date 3 for me would be a trip to a winery or to a movie. Not a trip to the ER for my sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume what you want, but “No drama” means precisely that.

I thought No Drama means a more direct, clear communicator?

Has that been taken over to subliminally mean shut up and don’t talk about things ever?

This is OP - I take it to mean the opposite. And why not then write that in a profile? "I am a direct, clear communicator, and looking for the same." I just found this article online (after I made my OP), and her perspective definitely resonates with me! Also love that she called out "partner in crime"

https://medium.com/@auntysal/no-drama-please-a-womans-response-to-your-online-dating-bio-e9599a8dad3a

I think the “no drama” is directed at people like that author.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume what you want, but “No drama” means precisely that.

But what is drama? Jerry Springer? Or run of the mill conflict at times? Or a woman being bothered when he’s checking out other women?

When I see "no drama", I think it means "I seem to attract chaos but have no ability to see the ways that I contribute to that chaos."

This. I dated a guy who was very “no drama”. Then when I couldn’t attend a wedding with him because I had to work, he invited TWO super trashy women to go with him and had them stay in his hotel room partying all night. AND then he bragged about it all over social media.

When I got upset I was causing “drama” because I didn’t realize it’s all an act so people will think he’s cool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It was cute in spring/summer of 2020, but a mask photo now means you must have jacked up teeth you’re trying to hide.

And please don’t make us play Where’s Waldo trying to find you in your photos.

Ha to "Where's Waldo"! I do think it's odd to have your cover photo be a group photo - which one are you??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Assume what you want, but “No drama” means precisely that.

But what is drama? Jerry Springer? Or run of the mill conflict at times? Or a woman being bothered when he’s checking out other women?

Manic bipolar behavior, requesting to sit with the woman on the anniversary of her husband’s death, requesting to provide comfort while she is crying over arguments with her kids or her ex husband. Requesting help getting her car back from a friend who is too high or drunk to produce information.

These are not exactly fun dates. Drama.

Don’t date to solve problems at home. Date to share a good time.

I don’t know. I can see how untreated mental illness and substance abuse are dealbreakers. But some of this other stuff sounds completely reasonable depending on the timeline. Yes, they sound crazy if we are talking about a second date, but reasonable if we are talking about a life partner.