How do you deal with financial envy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more envious of people who have active sex or social lives. I have the money and lifestyle - it’s not all that. I’d rather have a husband who puts out and a group of girlfriends.

So weird hearing a woman say she wants a guy "who puts out" but OK...

My husband is low drive and also not interested in me sexually.

[Anonymous]

Work with poor people. I do poverty law and know that even if my colleagues or neighbors make more or have more than I do, I am super lucky compared to most of the world. Get perspective.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider that the people you envy may be richer in finances but poorer in other ways (health, time, love, family, contentment, self worth).

You have to have really low self esteem if you need to think this way to feel OK about your material wealth. It's really kinda pathetic to be honest.

[Anonymous]

I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know people who have more than us. How do you stop yourself from comparing and financial envy? Mostly it is challenging for me as I have expensive taste and have a hard time lowering my standards.

This isn’t a thing. I worry about me, not other people. What a stupid waste of mental energy. Anyone who thinks this way is either mentally ill or has a character defect. It is not a normal way to be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Spend some time thinking about what people's lives are like that do not have all the financial advantages you do indeed have. Honestly, that is the best way to cure this. Anytime you think "damn I want to fly first class to the Maldives" think about the millions of people in this country who barely leave their neighborhoods because they can't afford it.

Ah, the fallacy of relative privation

[Anonymous]

Rich people have bigger problems than average people. So a greener lawn means a higher water bill....and landscaping bills, chemicals that cause cancer, envy, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m more envious of people who have active sex or social lives. I have the money and lifestyle - it’s not all that. I’d rather have a husband who puts out and a group of girlfriends.

So weird hearing a woman say she wants a guy "who puts out" but OK...

My husband is low drive and also not interested in me sexually.

So many women would take him off your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

+1 this is my mindset. I make more than others? Sure. Am I comfortable knowing friends who make more than me? Yep. I’m happy for them, quite honestly. But I have what I need for me and my family to prosper and make it, and for me, that’s good enough. I’m not jealous of anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

I saved this response. This is exactly how I strive to be. I have very low self esteem and have been trying to improve for years. One thing that's been helping me is every time I feel insecure or jealous of someone is to forcefully redirect my thoughts to my own life. My friend has a rich, generous husband who supports her as she stays at home while I slave away at work married to a cheap husband, instead of thinking how lucky she is the other day, I asked myself, "how can I improve my own life, what can I do to increase my salary so I'm more comfortable?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

I saved this response. This is exactly how I strive to be. I have very low self esteem and have been trying to improve for years. One thing that's been helping me is every time I feel insecure or jealous of someone is to forcefully redirect my thoughts to my own life. My friend has a rich, generous husband who supports her as she stays at home while I slave away at work married to a cheap husband, instead of thinking how lucky she is the other day, I asked myself, "how can I improve my own life, what can I do to increase my salary so I'm more comfortable?"

The friend was probably a huge ho before marrying right? Drop the cheap husband. Emulate the friend.

[Anonymous]

I’m financially comfortable enough.

When I find myself feeling envious of other with more money, I just focus on my family and friends, and the job I love. These things fulfil me.

But also, I’m prettier than any of my wealthier friends. I know this sounds shallow, but I take great joy in being beautiful. My wealthiest friend has had several cosmetic surgeries, and as she has lamented, she still needs to put in a lot of work with makeup, etc to achieve something close to the look she wants. If I were given a choice between being very wealthy and average to slightly pretty looking or being financially comfortable plus beautiful, I wouldn’t change my situation. (I would never say these things in real life).

And I’m also strong and healthy, and a long run always leaves me feeling great, so that’s another way to vanquish envy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

+100.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We all know people who have more than us. How do you stop yourself from comparing and financial envy? Mostly it is challenging for me as I have expensive taste and have a hard time lowering my standards.

I understand that what they have has nothing to do with me and I also don't feel that I deserve things just because someone else has them. I also know that money and junk will never stop a person from being lonely. The wealthier you are, the more likely it is that people want something from you and are less likely to actually care about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't look upward or downward to compare. Nor do I lie to myself telling myself rich people have miserable lives, nor am I smug thinking I could have it wors, like all the poors on the planet.

I focus on myself. Am I happy? Do I have what I need? Will I retire one day? Can I send my kids to college? Can I eat healthy food? I'm satisfied with my answers and don't worry about what's not mine. I honestly foe thr life of me do not understand the class obsession on this board, but I'm very glad it doesn't take up any real estate in my brain.

I saved this response. This is exactly how I strive to be. I have very low self esteem and have been trying to improve for years. One thing that's been helping me is every time I feel insecure or jealous of someone is to forcefully redirect my thoughts to my own life. My friend has a rich, generous husband who supports her as she stays at home while I slave away at work married to a cheap husband, instead of thinking how lucky she is the other day, I asked myself, "how can I improve my own life, what can I do to increase my salary so I'm more comfortable?"

The friend was probably a huge ho before marrying right? Drop the cheap husband. Emulate the friend.

This is advice from a miserable person who wants everyone else to have a miserable life.