How do you deal with financial envy?
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Anonymous
| We all know people who have more than us. How do you stop yourself from comparing and financial envy? Mostly it is challenging for me as I have expensive taste and have a hard time lowering my standards. |
Anonymous
| I don’t know, except to say I struggle with this too! |
Anonymous
| I discovered investing instead of just saving. I won't be well off because I started late and I don't care as much, but I'm excited for my kids. |
Anonymous
| Spend some time thinking about what people's lives are like that do not have all the financial advantages you do indeed have. Honestly, that is the best way to cure this. Anytime you think "damn I want to fly first class to the Maldives" think about the millions of people in this country who barely leave their neighborhoods because they can't afford it. |
Anonymous
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By having friends who are in a similar spending bracket. I didn't intentionally set out to pick those friends, mind you. I made most of my friends when our kids were in preschool together, and it turns out that those that have stuck with us for the past 10 years spend in the same range. This is just what's visible, of course. I have no idea what anyone's total assets are.
Also, one of my friends and I have relatives that are quite poor. It stops us from complaining about money 
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Anonymous
| I remind myself that I'm lucky to be where I am in life, and there are always people better off and worse off than I am, and to focus on what I am grateful for. |
Anonymous
Yes. I look at this site: https://live.givedirectly.org/ People receiving money from the nonprofit explain how it will help them. E.g., " For over ten years, I have been sheltering in a very small house which was a single room and it was very old and dilapidated. It could not accommodate all of us. This forced eight of my children to seek shelter from their friends whose houses are almost 2 KM from my house. This has frustrated me as a parent for a long but then I could not do anything. Sometimes I felt like I was the cause of all troubles they face in their lives. Most of the time, they could even fail to do their school assignments because there was no ample space for studying. This was affecting their academic performance in school. I never lost hope and I kept praying for them that this will one day come to an end." After getting the money, "Upon withdrawing the money, the first thing I did was buying three pieces of iron sheets and seven ridges to complete my house which I started using the first transfer from GiveDirectly. I also paid KES 5000.00 school fees for my six primary school children. Having done that, I bought a bed and a mattress for KES 8000.00 because I used to sleep in a small traditional bed with tone mats. Thereafter, I paid some few debts and used the remaining amount for the family upkeep." The money? $463. (https://live.givedirectly.org/newsfeed/9496308f-7e1a-4940-86c0-e3a82fbb0e28/218561?context=newsfeed#payment_2) |
Anonymous
I'm a Christian, and I try to live by the principle that the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil. |
Anonymous
+1000 This board is full of people who have convinced themselves they're hard done by because they only look upward to compare. In reality, you're exceptionally lucky and privileged as compared to 95% of the country and 99.9% of the world. Stop feeling sorry for yourself, and absolutely stop whining about it to other people. |
Anonymous
| Quality of life is more important than money/objects. We do a lot with our kid but a lot of it is free or low cost. We bring her bestie a lot. They are both onlys. Well DD was talking about his lucky bestie is because bestie has a phone already and a TV in her room. DD had neither. Then we heard thru a family friend that bestie wished she had parents like us because we do stuff with DD and her parents do nothing. The kids are both 10. |
Anonymous
| I got terribly sick and then realized simplicity is a gift. But you need beauty in your life. Figure out how to have that without compromising the simplicity of your life, and poof, comparisons will be less relevant. |
Anonymous
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I’m not from NoVa originally. My house and lifestyle seem “normal”, but I realize to most people in America I am incredibly privileged and comfortable. My kids go to school with kids who live in $2-3M+ houses and go on many vacations. There are times I wish I had a gorgeous house or a nicer car - but I am Facebook friends with most of my HS class. Seeing their pics of small town working class life in the Midwest keeps me grounded and reminds me where I came from.
The other thing is mentally calculating what I would need to do in order to earn the money to afford that life. I was on track for Partner at my large consulting firm and peers have gone on to earn 2-4X what I do. I mommy-tracked myself and honestly I have never been happier. The money would be nice - but I don’t want to do the work or put in the hours it would take to earn it. My husband earns a similar salary and similarly is happy at his current landing point. The next promotion is a lot more work for a minimal pay increase. Maybe it will be worth it to us in a few years when the kids are older, but for right now I am content because I know the trade offs. |
Anonymous
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If you believe that you can make your dreams happen for yourself, there's no need to be envious of others, you can be happy for them.
I would suggest working on an abundance mindset and taking steps toward your goals. |
Anonymous
| I think of both sets of grandparents who came from nothing and worked hard to build good lives for themselves and their children and grandchildren. One set of grandparents were brought up in the depression and others survived the Holocaust. I feel lucky that I was born into far better circumstances. |
Anonymous
As long as you are making enough to satisfy your needs, there is no problem. |