Pumping Is Hard But The Guilt Keeps Me Going

[Anonymous]

Having a happier mom is more important than breast milk. Do what makes you feel ok. Maybe that’s pumping, maybe it’s not. Good luck!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. I do have a good rhythm and most days I’m fine, but like once a week when I’m tired I think about quitting. I make 32-40 ounces a day and freeze up to 12 ounces a day after he eats. It’s hard to give that up when I know I have a good supply and he prefers breast milk. I’ve bought extra pump parts and bottles and feel like I invested a lot of money in this to make it work. I feel guilty about all of it when I have those days that I want to quit.

How many times a day are you doing it? I started cutting back on my sessions and didn’t lose any supply.

OP here. 6-7 times a day. I was doing 8 pumps and then dropped down to 7. Now I will do 6 depending on if he wakes up at night. He sleeps 5-8 hours a night and has been sleeping through the night feed most night for the last two weeks. I don’t get up and pump. Sometimes I get engorged and just use my Haakaa to relieve myself a little while in bed and then go back to sleep. I have not had much of a supply change with cutting pumps. I tend to just get more in the morning pump. I plan to cut down to 5 in the next month. I pump every 3 hours from 7am - 10pm and sometimes at 3/4am if he wakes up. I get 4-8 per pump - usually 8 ounces first pump, 8 ounces second pump, 6 ounces third pump, 6 ounces for 4th pump, and 4 ounces for the other 2 pumps. Then I get an additional 4-8 ounces at night but I usually get less for the morning pump if I pump at night. I make 32-40 ounces.

[Anonymous]

As someone who EP'd for 7 months bc I felt too much guilt to stop, I would never ever do it again. If I ever have another kid I will go right to formula. Being attached to a machine for hours each day took away from time I could be connecting with my baby, or resting my very tired body and mind. It's not an issue that your baby prefers breast milk, she'll adjust to formula. Formula these days is amazing (really, truly, it's great).

Something else I wish I had known at the time when I was grappling with the guilt - severe guilt is a symptom of anxiety. I realized I didn't want to spend my whole motherhood experience with crippling guilt. I eventually went on meds and started therapy and feel so much better. Motherhood is tough, but you don't need to go through the next 18+ years with severe guilt over decisions you make for your good.

[Anonymous]

OP, I EP’d for 12 months with one of my kids. I actually found a sweet spot of 4 pumps per day - like you, I had a good supply and 4 ppd got me over 40oz. That number of pumps seemed not unreasonable considering I am a working mom and would’ve had to pump twice a day anyway at work. I agree that if you set small goals to reach, you can either stop or actually find yourself wanting to continue.

If you do want to keep going, I suggest throwing money at it if you can afford to do so. We got two deep freezers to manage all the milk I froze and I rented a hospital pump to keep at home and bought a freestyle to keep at work and to take on the go.

Good luck no matter what you choose!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I EP’d for 12 months with one of my kids. I actually found a sweet spot of 4 pumps per day - like you, I had a good supply and 4 ppd got me over 40oz. That number of pumps seemed not unreasonable considering I am a working mom and would’ve had to pump twice a day anyway at work. I agree that if you set small goals to reach, you can either stop or actually find yourself wanting to continue.

If you do want to keep going, I suggest throwing money at it if you can afford to do so. We got two deep freezers to manage all the milk I froze and I rented a hospital pump to keep at home and bought a freestyle to keep at work and to take on the go.

Good luck no matter what you choose!

OP here. I have thrown money at it already. I have a spectra and bought a hands free pump. I bought extra pump parts and bottles. We have a deep freezer.

[Anonymous]

OK that sounds a bit paranoid, but if I were the parent of a young baby now, I would 100% breast-feed or pump. With the formula recall, as well as supply chain shortages, I would feel much better if I was maintaining a milk supply to feed baby. And this is coming from a formula mom!

[Anonymous]

Same. I get it OP.

[Anonymous]

My youngest is now 12. When I was in the thick of the newborn stage, a month seemed endless. Now it seems to go by in a flash. All that to say, if it's not actually hurting you, I would keep it up. There are definitely benefits to pumped milk. Take it every two weeks. Then re-evaluate. Get a pile of really good books that you read while you pump. Watch a fun show on Netflix.

[Anonymous]

Pumping sucks. I’m a stay at home, so I didn’t *have* to do it. But when I wanted to supplement/give baby a bottle, we used formula. Formula is amazing.

Pumping sucks and I think the benefits from nursing come from the baby actually being at the breast.