Pumping Is Hard But The Guilt Keeps Me Going

[Anonymous]

I have been pumping for the last month for my newborn who didn’t want to nurse. It’s manageable, but rough at times. Some days I start to wonder if it’s really worth it and if I should switch to pumping. I hate all of the time pumping takes, but I do have a really good supply, and my baby seems to prefer breast milk over formula. It almost seems selfish to stop pumping because I have a good supply and I know it’s the best nutrition for him. Every time I have a hard day and want to quit, I instantly feel guilty, and then the next day is smooth and I forget about the hard day. This is a constant cycle I find myself in every week. I know he will be fine with formula but the thought of not being able to give him breast milk when I know I can leaves me with lots of guilt.

[Anonymous]

I EP’ed and have one regret: that I did it past three months. It’s too much time away from baby and too much stress.

Baby will get used to formula (assuming he does actually prefer it and that’s not guilt talking). I promise time with baby is better than pumping.

[Anonymous]

It gets easier with time, hang in there, take it day by day.

[Anonymous]

If you want permission to quit I will give it to you! Pumping is so depressing to me, if I were in your shoes I would switch to formula absolutely. I breastfed my first until 16 months but If I’d had to pump I absolutely would’ve quit. I know some people have a higher tolerance than me tho. Whatever you decide will be totally fine.

[Anonymous]

It's not worth it, OP. Either supplement with formula or switch to it altogether. Don't make yourself miserable. Having a happy and healthy mom is important for the baby, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have been pumping for the last month for my newborn who didn’t want to nurse. It’s manageable, but rough at times. Some days I start to wonder if it’s really worth it and if I should switch to pumping. I hate all of the time pumping takes, but I do have a really good supply, and my baby seems to prefer breast milk over formula. It almost seems selfish to stop pumping because I have a good supply and I know it’s the best nutrition for him. Every time I have a hard day and want to quit, I instantly feel guilty, and then the next day is smooth and I forget about the hard day. This is a constant cycle I find myself in every week. I know he will be fine with formula but the thought of not being able to give him breast milk when I know I can leaves me with lots of guilt.

People will jump on me for suggesting this, but I would talk to your OB about this, and see if you can get a referral to a therapist or counselor (preferably one that does virtual sessions) so you can talk through this with a neutral party. She might be able to help you understand your guilt and sort out your feelings.

[Anonymous]

As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have been pumping for the last month for my newborn who didn’t want to nurse. It’s manageable, but rough at times. Some days I start to wonder if it’s really worth it and if I should switch to pumping. I hate all of the time pumping takes, but I do have a really good supply, and my baby seems to prefer breast milk over formula. It almost seems selfish to stop pumping because I have a good supply and I know it’s the best nutrition for him. Every time I have a hard day and want to quit, I instantly feel guilty, and then the next day is smooth and I forget about the hard day. This is a constant cycle I find myself in every week. I know he will be fine with formula but the thought of not being able to give him breast milk when I know I can leaves me with lots of guilt.

People will jump on me for suggesting this, but I would talk to your OB about this, and see if you can get a referral to a therapist or counselor (preferably one that does virtual sessions) so you can talk through this with a neutral party. She might be able to help you understand your guilt and sort out your feelings.

Ha ha! Everyone was waiting for you, PP. Telling a poster they need therapy is the free spot on DCUM bingo!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I EP’ed and have one regret: that I did it past three months. It’s too much time away from baby and too much stress.

Baby will get used to formula (assuming he does actually prefer it and that’s not guilt talking). I promise time with baby is better than pumping.

OP here. The good thing is he is a good sleeper and I pump during his naps so I’m able to spend time with him when he’s awake without having to pump. I’m sure this might change at some point but I’ve been able to pump because he takes really good naps.

I’m not the only one who notices that he prefers breast milk. My husband has said the same thing too. He will take it but he makes faces or spit it out at first, and he never does that with breast milk. We only give him formula once a day because I want him to get used to it if I do stop pumping.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I EP’ed and have one regret: that I did it past three months. It’s too much time away from baby and too much stress.

Baby will get used to formula (assuming he does actually prefer it and that’s not guilt talking). I promise time with baby is better than pumping.

OP here. The good thing is he is a good sleeper and I pump during his naps so I’m able to spend time with him when he’s awake without having to pump. I’m sure this might change at some point but I’ve been able to pump because he takes really good naps.

I’m not the only one who notices that he prefers breast milk. My husband has said the same thing too. He will take it but he makes faces or spit it out at first, and he never does that with breast milk. We only give him formula once a day because I want him to get used to it if I do stop pumping.

If you do switch to formula you just do it gradually - one part formula to four parts breast milk and then slowly change the ratios until you’re at all formula. Also some formulas taste better than others. We used HIPP and my baby took it right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. It’s hard to believe there is no nutritional benefit from pumped milk? Is there really no benefit?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. It’s hard to believe there is no nutritional benefit from pumped milk? Is there really no benefit?

It’s a theory. Of course there is nutritional value to pumped milk but there is to formula too! The AM/PM milk thing I totally believe however. Milk pumped at night has melatonin so whenever I have my baby “night milk” she was sleepy during the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. I do have a good rhythm and most days I’m fine, but like once a week when I’m tired I think about quitting. I make 32-40 ounces a day and freeze up to 12 ounces a day after he eats. It’s hard to give that up when I know I have a good supply and he prefers breast milk. I’ve bought extra pump parts and bottles and feel like I invested a lot of money in this to make it work. I feel guilty about all of it when I have those days that I want to quit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. It’s hard to believe there is no nutritional benefit from pumped milk? Is there really no benefit?

It’s a theory. Of course there is nutritional value to pumped milk but there is to formula too! The AM/PM milk thing I totally believe however. Milk pumped at night has melatonin so whenever I have my baby “night milk” she was sleepy during the day.

OP here. I never paid much attention to it but I do pump and then feed him the milk I pumped. For instance, I pump at 7am and he eats at 7:30, pump at 10, he eats at 10:30am, etc. I don’t always pump right before feeding him but he always drinks milk I pumped within fours hours. I freeze all the milk leftover at the day of the day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As someone who pumped exclusively for six months, I don’t think it’s worth it. There are all these hypotheses about day and night milk and the mother’s body “reading” what the baby needs through their saliva and providing it in the milk.

I got into a rhythm with pumping and didn’t hate it. I just think it was a waste of time now.

OP here. I do have a good rhythm and most days I’m fine, but like once a week when I’m tired I think about quitting. I make 32-40 ounces a day and freeze up to 12 ounces a day after he eats. It’s hard to give that up when I know I have a good supply and he prefers breast milk. I’ve bought extra pump parts and bottles and feel like I invested a lot of money in this to make it work. I feel guilty about all of it when I have those days that I want to quit.

So keep pumping and set a “quit date” (after another three months or six months) and the reassess when the day comes. But knowing there is an end in sight helps on the hard days. This is not your life forever.