(how) do you celebrate valentine's day with your teens?

[Anonymous]

She is getting a little bag with a Valentines card, rose water spray from Trader Joe’s, a pink heart candle and a Purple Heart bath bomb.

[Anonymous]

Gave my dd16 a door dash gift card and a stuffed animal. We had pink, red and white bagels for breakfast.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

[Anonymous]

I would do some chocolates/candy but yesterday they got plenty at the super bowl party.

Today they got a Valentine's morning kiss and hug. Then I sent them a text.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

Your in laws will roll their eyes at you. Just know that. The fact that you're classifying people as shallow if they celebrate a holiday that is normally celebrated in the country they are from, says something about you, not them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

Your in laws will roll their eyes at you. Just know that. The fact that you're classifying people as shallow if they celebrate a holiday that is normally celebrated in the country they are from, says something about you, not them.

Nope. This is a superficial holiday for superficial relationships. Why should everyone follow some minor idiotic religious holiday borrowed from some other country and pretend it is a big deal? Of course, people are free to celebrate any holiday they want and can certainly make all the efforts they want to, as are others free to be spectators or uninterested parties.

It is vulgar holiday that cheapens the meaning of love and caring. Anyways, as I said before, a country with a divorce rate of 50% is not worthy of being emulated as far as relationships are concerned.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

Cringe. Why is this particular task expected of them? Soooo messed up. This is a task, an expectation, something that is forced upon them, and they are doing it reluctantly or without any thought. Here is an idea, maybe let the man show his appreciation how and when he wants to show it! Maybe it means that once a year he clears the snow on top of your car because he wants to make things easier for you. That is more romantic than buying that cheapie box of chocolates on VD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

Same here, not doing anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

Your in laws will roll their eyes at you. Just know that. The fact that you're classifying people as shallow if they celebrate a holiday that is normally celebrated in the country they are from, says something about you, not them.

Nope. This is a superficial holiday for superficial relationships. Why should everyone follow some minor idiotic religious holiday borrowed from some other country and pretend it is a big deal? Of course, people are free to celebrate any holiday they want and can certainly make all the efforts they want to, as are others free to be spectators or uninterested parties.

It is vulgar holiday that cheapens the meaning of love and caring. Anyways, as I said before, a country with a divorce rate of 50% is not worthy of being emulated as far as relationships are concerned.

Valentine’s has been around since the 700s and celebrates love and caring, both romantic and not. It doesn’t devalue it. Valentine’s is celebrated around the world including Europe, the Americas and Asia. Like it or not, it’s a part of our culture, and it’s more likely than not that your children will celebrate it with their partners as adults regardless of your opinion on the matter.

As for divorce rates, you yourself said your family celebrates anniversaries.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

Cringe. Why is this particular task expected of them? Soooo messed up. This is a task, an expectation, something that is forced upon them, and they are doing it reluctantly or without any thought. Here is an idea, maybe let the man show his appreciation how and when he wants to show it! Maybe it means that once a year he clears the snow on top of your car because he wants to make things easier for you. That is more romantic than buying that cheapie box of chocolates on VD.

Some events fall on specific days. That includes birthdays, Christmas and wedding anniversaries. And yes, those days include expectations around gift giving.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would do some chocolates/candy but yesterday they got plenty at the super bowl party.

Today they got a Valentine's morning kiss and hug. Then I sent them a text.

I was not a fan of the back to back Super Bowl and Valentine’s Day on this calendar!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're having steak for dinner, which we will eat in the actual dining room (lol) with candles. I'll make a heart shaped chocolate chip cookie cake and the kids and DH get little box of chocolates and the kids will get a fun, fancy bar of soap (self-serving as they need to shower more).

That sounds really nice, PP! And the soap is an excellent idea, I might steal it!

+1
where do you find heart shaped soaps?

Not PP but you can get them on Etsy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

Well, hopefully they will not go for shallow people. Gift giving is certainly a thing for us, but not on VD. We give on days worth celebrating from birthdays to anniversaries, weddings to graduation. And we certainly give gifts on more occasions and more generously than a made-up hallmark day.

What holiday is this? Who are we celebrating?

Your in laws will roll their eyes at you. Just know that. The fact that you're classifying people as shallow if they celebrate a holiday that is normally celebrated in the country they are from, says something about you, not them.

Nope. This is a superficial holiday for superficial relationships. Why should everyone follow some minor idiotic religious holiday borrowed from some other country and pretend it is a big deal? Of course, people are free to celebrate any holiday they want and can certainly make all the efforts they want to, as are others free to be spectators or uninterested parties.

It is vulgar holiday that cheapens the meaning of love and caring. Anyways, as I said before, a country with a divorce rate of 50% is not worthy of being emulated as far as relationships are concerned.

Valentine’s has been around since the 700s and celebrates love and caring, both romantic and not. It doesn’t devalue it. Valentine’s is celebrated around the world including Europe, the Americas and Asia. Like it or not, it’s a part of our culture, and it’s more likely than not that your children will celebrate it with their partners as adults regardless of your opinion on the matter.

As for divorce rates, you yourself said your family celebrates anniversaries.

Winter is dreary. I enjoy an unnecessary and not extravagant celebration here and there and so does my family. I used to be a Scrooge like you, but DH grew up celebrating a number of holidays we did not. And you know what, it’s fun to add a little joy to the days of people I love. I’m honestly not always that thoughtful so these ideas don’t just come to me. But I can do a little something for V day, and my family does the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. I do nothing.

In ES, we were told to send in cards for the whole class, so I used to make an effort to do it.

I do not want them to become entitled nightmare in their real romantic relationships. Also, this is a hallmark holiday. My kids do not think too much of it.

You think that if you do something small for your kids this can make them an entitled nightmare in their romantic relationships? Shouldn't they be acknowledging V-Day in their romantic relationshps?

No. I do not want them to have an expectation that someone will do something for them for VD. They should be kind and loving to their SO every day (and we model that at home) but a fake holiday is not to be celebrated. Celebrate meaningful dates - birthdays, anniversaries etc, but this is a ridiculous day. In fact, if they have a good romantic relationship I hope they actually boycott and not celebrate VD (just like we do!!).

I did not grow up in this country so I was not used to VD. The very first year I was here, I was at a Giant doing groceries in the evening and a whole bunch of really nervous and anxious men were at the checkout lane clutching flowers and a box of chocolates in their work clothes. I realized that these guys are too scared to go home without something for their wives/gfs and they are stopping at Giant to pick up whatever was left on their way back from home. It was such a disgusting and unromantic sight that I vowed that I would never celebrate this fake holiday. Especially in a country where divorce rates are 50%.

Who are we celebrating anyways??

Thing is, your future in laws most likely did grow up here celebrating Valentines and expecting reciprocation. Maybe gift giving isn’t your thing, but it’s a love language for others, and there’s nothing wrong with gifting your significant other with a card and flowers to celebrate a holiday!

This. And your recollection of men in the store buying items is ridiculous. The men weren't scared. The men weren't nervous or anxious. They were simply doing a task that is, sure, expected of them, but no more so for a birthday. If this type of sight disgusts you, you should probably relax a little more.

Cringe. Why is this particular task expected of them? Soooo messed up. This is a task, an expectation, something that is forced upon them, and they are doing it reluctantly or without any thought. Here is an idea, maybe let the man show his appreciation how and when he wants to show it! Maybe it means that once a year he clears the snow on top of your car because he wants to make things easier for you. That is more romantic than buying that cheapie box of chocolates on VD.

Some events fall on specific days. That includes birthdays, Christmas and wedding anniversaries. And yes, those days include expectations around gift giving.

Birthdays and Anniversaries - yes. These are specific and meaningful to people. In US and around the word, not everyone celebrates Christmas and VD. Besides, just like Christmas, VD has also become yet another commercial holiday. It is really not so deep.