Stunned to hear of a dear friends deep depression

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn. I can’t believe you just wrote this long public post about your friend’s struggle with depression. Yeah, yeah. It’s anonymous. But STILL.

This! Op, pls get it taken down

Time for you both to take a serious chill pill. We are not in the DC area, far out of state. I was born n MD and still have roots there but have moved away. Some people are so uptight!

+1. NP but I have been on DCUM a long time and have pointed out on occasion that the forum has people from all over the US, not just in the DMV. There is nothing in OP’s post that would identify an individual. Do you know how many wealthy and beautiful women have children and BigLaw spouses? I am on the West Coast and personally know several women in my own circle that would fit this description to a T. That does not mean I think one of them is OP’s friend.

[Anonymous]

Ugh what a callous post.

[Anonymous]

This is just sad OP 😢, I truly feel for your friend.

Hopefully she will find the right medicine to help her deal w/her condition.
It may take some trial + error - but am hoping that she will find one that makes living w/her condition bearable again.
More than bearable actually.

My hope for her is that she will be able to sincerely smile again one day….and be able to enjoy the beauty of living instead of having this huge dark cloud follow her around all the time.

You seem like a great friend to me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn. I can’t believe you just wrote this long public post about your friend’s struggle with depression. Yeah, yeah. It’s anonymous. But STILL.

This! Op, pls get it taken down

Time for you both to take a serious chill pill. We are not in the DC area, far out of state. I was born n MD and still have roots there but have moved away. Some people are so uptight!

+1. NP but I have been on DCUM a long time and have pointed out on occasion that the forum has people from all over the US, not just in the DMV. There is nothing in OP’s post that would identify an individual. Do you know how many wealthy and beautiful women have children and BigLaw spouses? I am on the West Coast and personally know several women in my own circle that would fit this description to a T. That does not mean I think one of them is OP’s friend.

How many of those friends are depressed, suicidal, and going into a treatment facility “next week”? Imagine if you were seriously stressed and realized at any point — now, or in the future — that someone you trusted turned your pain into something that they could exploit, while anonymous strangers ripped apart your “friend’s” version of your vulnerability. Betrayal, even anonymous betrayal, still stings, often badly, and sometimes even fatally, when someone is suicidal.

FWIW, Jeff apparently agrees with you.
I was concerned enough to report this post. I’m heartened to see that other people are also concerned.

[Anonymous]

^^There is absolutely no identifying information in the post. No names, places, ages, name of law firm or treatment center, etc., provided. You also assume the friend is on DCUM reading Recent Topics. You are, frankly, a drama queen, pp.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^There is absolutely no identifying information in the post. No names, places, ages, name of law firm or treatment center, etc., provided. You also assume the friend is on DCUM reading Recent Topics. You are, frankly, a drama queen, pp.

I’m not assuming anything. I’m just someone who intensively values confidentiality, and I have good reasons for doing so. As to the drama queen bit, whatever. I raised my concern. If it’s not shared, it’s not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^There is absolutely no identifying information in the post. No names, places, ages, name of law firm or treatment center, etc., provided. You also assume the friend is on DCUM reading Recent Topics. You are, frankly, a drama queen, pp.

I’m not assuming anything. I’m just someone who intensively values confidentiality, and I have good reasons for doing so. As to the drama queen bit, whatever. I raised my concern. If it’s not shared, it’s not.

Intensely— although intensively is probably accurate too.

[Anonymous]

Way to make your friend's depression all about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is evidence of my depression, but posts like this make me upset. The fact that people are so shocked that people are not okay even when they’re acting like it means that we are doing an extremely poor job educating people about what depression is.

What’s weird about this post is not just the surprise, but the surprise that this could happen to someone she is envious of — someone who seems so blessed by fortune.

It’s like we’re living in the Middle Ages, and rich beautiful people are favored by God? Like what part of you doesn’t understand that diseases don’t care who they touch?

But I suppose if it’s cathartic for you to witness the humbling of your friend, then sure… post away. I don’t see concern for her as a person. Just thinly veiled schadenfreude. Sad. Maybe that’s why she’s depressed.

+1,000,000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this is evidence of my depression, but posts like this make me upset. The fact that people are so shocked that people are not okay even when they’re acting like it means that we are doing an extremely poor job educating people about what depression is.

What’s weird about this post is not just the surprise, but the surprise that this could happen to someone she is envious of — someone who seems so blessed by fortune.

It’s like we’re living in the Middle Ages, and rich beautiful people are favored by God? Like what part of you doesn’t understand that diseases don’t care who they touch?

But I suppose if it’s cathartic for you to witness the humbling of your friend, then sure… post away. I don’t see concern for her as a person. Just thinly veiled schadenfreude. Sad. Maybe that’s why she’s depressed.

What I find weird about this post, well, one thing that I find weird, is that despite claiming to feel devastated, OP does not seem to have made concerted efforts to support her friend. She’s not even asking for suggestions re: helpful things to do, or less helpful things to avoid. Friendship evidently means very different things to different people.

[Anonymous]

Sorry OP but only very socially immature, sheltered adults need to hear the “news” that you “just never know what someone is going through.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry OP but only very socially immature, sheltered adults need to hear the “news” that you “just never know what someone is going through.”

Exactly. OP is just a jealous idiot. I feel bad for her friend who thought she was confiding in someone who cares for her, not someone who feels better about herself seeing her “dear friend’s” suffering.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Damn. I can’t believe you just wrote this long public post about your friend’s struggle with depression. Yeah, yeah. It’s anonymous. But STILL.

This! Op, pls get it taken down

Time for you both to take a serious chill pill. We are not in the DC area, far out of state. I was born n MD and still have roots there but have moved away. Some people are so uptight!

I’m not one of those PPs. You need to do some introspection as to why you feel like you’re entitled to share details of someone’s personal struggle like this, even when faced with reasons why it’s in advisable. It’s not just that this individual might find out. It’s that you’re sharing somebody the details of somebody’s intensely private struggle, which doesn’t involve you in the least, to dissect for no discernible good. You totally lack compassion and if you were my friend I would not share my mental health struggles with you, even though I’m generally pretty open about them.

Yes...it's not that someone will read your post and think "hey that's Barb!" It's the fact that you thought it was okay to share her story on an open anonymous board and dive into her story without her knowledge or consent. OP, I agree with your message that "no one knows the battle each person is facing" but you could have posted about that in a more sensitive and less intrusive way.

+1, this whole post was really poorly thought out. FWIW, I’m on the west coast and read and post regularly. I think there are many others like me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Way to make your friend's depression all about you.

+100. OP could have been posting about me a year ago. It is so disheartening to read OP's post. I thought perhaps I was being paranoid to think that my broader group of "friends" treated me with surface compassion overlying a subtle "wow-there-but-for-the-grace-of-god" judgment and gradual social exclusion. OP, thank you for confirming for me that I should never have confided in anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Serious question. Are major depressive issues just another luxury that the rich get to experience? I am in an abusive relationship, with three children all with the same mental health challenges that my DH has. Life is very, very difficult. Life is miserable. I’m abused on a daily basis, always verbally, sometimes physically.

It would be such a relief to actually get some relief from the abuse and go to therapy to deal with my feelings surrounding the trauma. An inpatient stay at a psych ward sounds lovely, like a five star vacation. But I don’t have the luxury to do that, because if I left my family, then everything would fall apart because of my unstable the DH.

How “lucky” to be both majorly depressed, but also have people around you clamoring to help, and a place to go to have a retreat. I mean, I understand it is a chemical disorder, but not everyone is able to walk away from their daily life and responsibilities at the drop of a hat.

Anyone can be depressed, but even though anecdote doesn't equal data, I've noticed that people with a certain amount of privilege often are the least resilient and take the least amount of responsibility for managing their illness in a way that allows them to be both functional and accountable to others. At least this woman is taking the initiative to get treatment.