Benefits of keeping your nanny FT after child starts school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

I want your nanny. I want your life.

Same! Actually, I'd like the nanny to do my job, so I can do all of the parenting stuff!

You actually can have that-easily!

So you quit, allow your company to hire the person of their choosing to do the job, and then become a SAHP.

That would be nice, but I do need my income. I was joking and thought that was clear by saying I'd like a nanny to go to my place of work and do my job while I stay at home. Seems pretty obvious that would never happen.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends with very big careers so this because the nanny can handle sick days, snow days and any other emergency. Keeping the nanny on a salary is worth it to them. It is kind of like having someone on call always. They can also ask nanny to stay late for dinners and occasional overnights.

I don’t ask if they pay extra for evenings.

I’m a sahm now but I used to have a demanding job. Dh also has a demanding job. Dh has never took the hit for a snow day or sick day. If the school calls because DS has a fever, I would always pick up and miss work the next day. I am pretty resentful over this. Dh is a surgeon so he won’t cancel a full day of patients or surgeries because our kid has a fever. He is also unreliable in picking up the kids.

It is illegal to pay a nanny on salary. The IRS is very clear that nannies are non-exempt domestic workers who must be paid hourly and are entitled to overtime. There are some people with "big careers" who still illegally 1099 or pay under the table, but most do not. If the nanny is staying late, they are probably getting paid overtime.

Actually many of us switch from hourly to salary when the kids go to school. We keep the same weekly pay for fewer hours, but we still have overtime when hours go outside of a negotiated schedule.

[Anonymous]

We couldn’t have made it without our nanny. Neither DH nor I have the type of jobs that allow for last minute sick days of elementary school aged kids. And after-school sports are important to my kids and they couldn’t play without nanny picking them up and driving them to practices. She now is our house manager as well handling grocery shopping and ordering for the family and errands. Seriously, just having someone bring in the boxes, unload and put the items away, break down the boxes and haul them out to the recycling bin in the alley is worth her salary! She still handles the kids meals, packs lunches, does their laundry, orders their staple clothes, does towels and their linen (sports and swimming stuff). They have their homework done before we get home. She gets them showered and hair washed before we get home and we have a nice leisurely dinner together as a family.

Honestly, I can’t envision when we won’t need her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friends with very big careers so this because the nanny can handle sick days, snow days and any other emergency. Keeping the nanny on a salary is worth it to them. It is kind of like having someone on call always. They can also ask nanny to stay late for dinners and occasional overnights.

I don’t ask if they pay extra for evenings.

I’m a sahm now but I used to have a demanding job. Dh also has a demanding job. Dh has never took the hit for a snow day or sick day. If the school calls because DS has a fever, I would always pick up and miss work the next day. I am pretty resentful over this. Dh is a surgeon so he won’t cancel a full day of patients or surgeries because our kid has a fever. He is also unreliable in picking up the kids.

It is illegal to pay a nanny on salary. The IRS is very clear that nannies are non-exempt domestic workers who must be paid hourly and are entitled to overtime. There are some people with "big careers" who still illegally 1099 or pay under the table, but most do not. If the nanny is staying late, they are probably getting paid overtime.

Actually many of us switch from hourly to salary when the kids go to school. We keep the same weekly pay for fewer hours, but we still have overtime when hours go outside of a negotiated schedule.

Right, it is only illegal if you dip below minimum wage or the agreed upon wage and aren’t paying overtime. So if you promise pay for 40/week at $35/ hour you are fine to pay a “salary” of $1400/ week off you only use 30 hours. If you go above 40 hours you need to pay for the hours and pay overtime at that point.

“Guaranteed hours” is probably a better phrase since legally it isn’t a salary but this is what people mean when they use this concept, especially with formerly full-time Nannies who stay on when kids are in school- they rarely work as many hours but are still guaranteed them.

Although always good to point out that employers must legally pay by hour at least minimum wage!

[Anonymous]

Keeping our wonderful nanny has been great security and continuity for our kids along with making DH and my life so much easier. Our nanny has been with us since our oldest was two months old.

Like others have said, nanny is on-call for sick days and school holidays but shifted her hours on normal days. We can take the kids to school on most days (nanny also covers mornings when we can’t) and has taken on more home management responsibilities which makes our evenings and weekends with the kids so much better. Nanny gets the kids at 2:30 and takes them to an activity or play date or the park. She gets their homework and bath done. She still does their laundry and food prep and keeps their clothes up to date.

We’ve always been very fortunate to have a wonderful loving nanny but I actually think I feel her contribution more now than when they were little!

[Anonymous]

Yep, loving coverage (kids have been with her since infancy and birth) for sick days is the biggest benefit. Still having another person handle the kids meal prep and laundry. After school activities and the one “late start” morning a week at our school. Holidays and summer.

Totally worth the cost.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

How the other half lives. Life is truly unfair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

I want your nanny. I want your life.

Same! Actually, I'd like the nanny to do my job, so I can do all of the parenting stuff!

You actually can have that-easily!

So you quit, allow your company to hire the person of their choosing to do the job, and then become a SAHP.

NP here. I don’t want to be a sahp though. I want it all the this PP: a career (that I’ve worked hard for and that I enjoy) and quality time with my kids because the nanny handled all the scutwork that a sahm would do!

[Anonymous]

For those of you who have transitioned your nanny to more of a household manager role, how did you prep for this? We want to keep our nanny next year and are trying to figure out how to organize tasks so that it is actually something off of our plate. How did they figure out what groceries to buy for the week? How did you share kid/family schedules so they knew about an upcoming weekend bday party and that a gift was needed? How did you let her know about one-off tasks that needed to be completed during the week? This isn't exactly the type of thing that gets talked about at firm happy hours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who have transitioned your nanny to more of a household manager role, how did you prep for this? We want to keep our nanny next year and are trying to figure out how to organize tasks so that it is actually something off of our plate. How did they figure out what groceries to buy for the week? How did you share kid/family schedules so they knew about an upcoming weekend bday party and that a gift was needed? How did you let her know about one-off tasks that needed to be completed during the week? This isn't exactly the type of thing that gets talked about at firm happy hours.

We have on online family calendar. Nanny is now plugged into all school correspondence and invitations. If she isn’t I cc her immediately. We have a digital shopping list we add to. Nanny has always handled the kids breakfasts snacks and lunches (both shopping for and making) so-now she just does stuff for our dinner and things DH and I want. I can also text her about errands we need the day or a couple days before. She keeps track of the kids after school stuff and payment.

You have to hand it off. We got messed up in the beginning because I was still trying to hold on to tasks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

How the other half lives. Life is truly unfair.

I think you would be surprised how much we sacrifice for this. It’s not unfair; it is choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

… it’s so unbiased… I can’t tell which you are, PP…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who have transitioned your nanny to more of a household manager role, how did you prep for this? We want to keep our nanny next year and are trying to figure out how to organize tasks so that it is actually something off of our plate. How did they figure out what groceries to buy for the week? How did you share kid/family schedules so they knew about an upcoming weekend bday party and that a gift was needed? How did you let her know about one-off tasks that needed to be completed during the week? This isn't exactly the type of thing that gets talked about at firm happy hours.

We have on online family calendar. Nanny is now plugged into all school correspondence and invitations. If she isn’t I cc her immediately. We have a digital shopping list we add to. Nanny has always handled the kids breakfasts snacks and lunches (both shopping for and making) so-now she just does stuff for our dinner and things DH and I want. I can also text her about errands we need the day or a couple days before. She keeps track of the kids after school stuff and payment.

You have to hand it off. We got messed up in the beginning because I was still trying to hold on to tasks.

Thanks. I think I'm having trouble with the idea of just trusting someone to do all of this, but I trust her with my children, and this is lower stakes than that! I actually think the bigger problem is the judgement I fear I'll get from people with the mindset of those commenting above about me WOTH and paying someone to do all the household management for me. We live in a relatively middle class Fairfax neighborhood, and our friends, neighbors, and kids classmates don't even have nannies, let alone someone managing the household stuff. I recognize it is a luxury, but the stress of not having to deal with unreliable part-time childcare and focusing on the kids when I get home is a luxury that we can afford and is worth it to our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Extremely hard, next to impossible, to find reliable PT care for after school if you need it. That’s it.

And all the summer days and teacher work days and...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For those of you who have transitioned your nanny to more of a household manager role, how did you prep for this? We want to keep our nanny next year and are trying to figure out how to organize tasks so that it is actually something off of our plate. How did they figure out what groceries to buy for the week? How did you share kid/family schedules so they knew about an upcoming weekend bday party and that a gift was needed? How did you let her know about one-off tasks that needed to be completed during the week? This isn't exactly the type of thing that gets talked about at firm happy hours.

We have on online family calendar. Nanny is now plugged into all school correspondence and invitations. If she isn’t I cc her immediately. We have a digital shopping list we add to. Nanny has always handled the kids breakfasts snacks and lunches (both shopping for and making) so-now she just does stuff for our dinner and things DH and I want. I can also text her about errands we need the day or a couple days before. She keeps track of the kids after school stuff and payment.

You have to hand it off. We got messed up in the beginning because I was still trying to hold on to tasks.

Thanks. I think I'm having trouble with the idea of just trusting someone to do all of this, but I trust her with my children, and this is lower stakes than that! I actually think the bigger problem is the judgement I fear I'll get from people with the mindset of those commenting above about me WOTH and paying someone to do all the household management for me. We live in a relatively middle class Fairfax neighborhood, and our friends, neighbors, and kids classmates don't even have nannies, let alone someone managing the household stuff. I recognize it is a luxury, but the stress of not having to deal with unreliable part-time childcare and focusing on the kids when I get home is a luxury that we can afford and is worth it to our family.

Stop worrying about what your neighbors think. Do what’s in the best interest of your kids. For us that meant keeping nanny.

And our nanny is very bright. She handles details far better than I do. Once you start letting go, it gets easier.