Benefits of keeping your nanny FT after child starts school

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

The nanny-haters just haven’t responded to this particular thread. Anything but daycare, aftercare, and excessive TV so the parents can get the stuff nannies and SAHPs do is frowned upon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

I want your nanny. I want your life.

Same! Actually, I'd like the nanny to do my job, so I can do all of the parenting stuff!

You actually can have that-easily!

So you quit, allow your company to hire the person of their choosing to do the job, and then become a SAHP.

NP here. I don’t want to quit my career. I want a nanny like this to handle this stuff so I can enjoy my time with my kids.

[Anonymous]

I was a Nanny for just over 7 years for one family. Started when 1 and 3 left when they were 9 and 11. The family could afford to keep me sondid for peace of mind. They didn’t have to find someone else for the summer, breaks, sick days, snow days etc. They needed before AND after care on school days too not just after school hours. I volunteered in the kids classroom once a week too, although didn’t have to. I think
If you have a lot of flexibility at work you can make it work without doing this. My bosses both had demanding jobs though so did it for peace of mind. They never had to think about the kids schedules during the work day.

[Anonymous]

My parents did this when we were growing up. She transitioned to more of a "house manager" role when we were both in school fulltime. She cooked dinner for everyone, did grocery shopping once a week, handled coordinating house repairs, etc. I think she also did laundry once a week. She did dropoff/pickup for my sister and I and took us to our dr/dentist appts. She didn't clean but she tidied up (emptied/loaded the dishwasher, wiped down the counters, made sure we put toys away).

It was pretty helpful, I would love to have a situation like that if I could afford it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

[Anonymous]

I’m a nanny who has been with the same family for 12 years. The kids are now 12 and 10. I’m paid full time while the kids go to school. I work 3-7pm, paid 40hrs. Im full days in summer and breaks and days off school. I’m on call for emergencies (like 1.5 years of lockdown) and recently had a convo with my boss about how long they want me to stay. I told them I really appreciated them paying me full time while I work less than 20hrs a week. The parents said I’ve earned this time after 12 years of loyalty and everything I did for them during the pandemic (no housekeepers, no chef, I did it all for the same rate) and they will never feel resentful paying me to do ‘nothing’ while the kids are at school. They said they want me to stay until the kids go to college because they will always need a nanny to drive the kids to activities and cook family dinner. My boss encourages me to work for other families while the kids are at school, so I can keep up my infant experience, but all families know my main job takes priority.

I know my experience isn’t the norm and I’m just so grateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

Pitiful low wages? I’m the 12 year nanny above and make $35/hr + benefits.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

I need this in my life, sounds amazing

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

I disagree. I am a far better pediatric surgeon than a teacher. Our nanny (former teacher) engages my kids and has a skill set that neither DH (also a surgeon) possess. I don’t revile SAHPs at all. It simply is not in the best interest of society or my family to stay at home. And you are so far from having “raised the bar” on parenting that I actually laughed out loud.

Parenting is a relationship, PP, and not a job.

[Anonymous]

The PP above who says “parenting is a relationship” is exactly right. Why judge the choices other people make?

If you have the finances and relationships to be able to have in-house childcare and home help - and that helps you be better at your job and better as a parent - why would you NOT do it? Serious question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

I disagree. I am a far better pediatric surgeon than a teacher. Our nanny (former teacher) engages my kids and has a skill set that neither DH (also a surgeon) possess. I don’t revile SAHPs at all. It simply is not in the best interest of society or my family to stay at home. And you are so far from having “raised the bar” on parenting that I actually laughed out loud.

Parenting is a relationship, PP, and not a job.

+1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We still have our nanny full time even though our kids are in elementary school. If we didn’t have Nanny our kids couldn’t do sports or piano lessons and would get stuck in aftercare. Also, nanny covers all sick days and school holidays as well as summer break. Our nanny was an elementary school teacher so she handles homework and tutoring too. Her hours shifted to noon to 6:30 plus a weekend date night. She now handles all the grocery shopping, ordering supplies, keeping kids schedules and payments for lessons, pays the weekly housekeeper, empties the dishwasher, prepares the kids lunches and bakes healthy snacks for them. She still does their laundry, linens and towels and cleans their rooms.

Every night, I come home to two kids whose homework is done (and in their backpacks) and piano practice out of the way.

An example of what nanny does for us: I freaked out on Friday night because I forgot my youngest had a close friend’s ice skating birthday party at 10AM the next day. Nanny said, “oh, I know - her gift is wrapped on the dining room table and Larla made her a beautiful birthday card. And her skates from last year were too small so [older kid’s] skates are cleaned and sharpened in the garage. I tucked her skating socks inside”.

Am I freaking lucky or what!!

I want your nanny. I want your life.

Same! Actually, I'd like the nanny to do my job, so I can do all of the parenting stuff!

You actually can have that-easily!

So you quit, allow your company to hire the person of their choosing to do the job, and then become a SAHP.

NP here. I don’t want to quit my career. I want a nanny like this to handle this stuff so I can enjoy my time with my kids.

Sure, but the pp I responded to said she wants the nanny to do her job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

Pitiful low wages? I’m the 12 year nanny above and make $35/hr + benefits.

+1. As a nanny I earn more than twice what I made as a teacher. Hardly low-wage.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

I disagree. I am a far better pediatric surgeon than a teacher. Our nanny (former teacher) engages my kids and has a skill set that neither DH (also a surgeon) possess. I don’t revile SAHPs at all. It simply is not in the best interest of society or my family to stay at home. And you are so far from having “raised the bar” on parenting that I actually laughed out loud.

Parenting is a relationship, PP, and not a job.

+2. And both parents “parent”. Mothers all over the country are needed in the workforce or we won’t make it as a society. Our nanny has a BA in child psychology and was a preschool teacher. Her contribution to my kids lives is immeasurable. And my kids can be proud of the work both DH and I do outside the home while they’re learning and having fun with our nanny. And nanny loves them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m so confused. So according to dcum: SAHM of school children = does nothing all day, waste of time. Nanny to school age children = priceless.

People just don't want to take care of their kids or can't afford to stay home. It is as simple as that. So, these parents feel happy if parenting is outsourced to someone else - someone who is making pitifully low wages. It then automatically equates parenting to a low-wage earner job.

SAH parents elevate parenting from a low-wage earner job to the most important job in the world. Besides many are people with high SES and they can "afford" to sacrifice a paycheck to be with their children. That becomes a tough act to follow. That is why SAHPs are reviled by WOHPs, because they raise the bar on parenting while flexing their financial muscle.

I disagree. I am a far better pediatric surgeon than a teacher. Our nanny (former teacher) engages my kids and has a skill set that neither DH (also a surgeon) possess. I don’t revile SAHPs at all. It simply is not in the best interest of society or my family to stay at home. And you are so far from having “raised the bar” on parenting that I actually laughed out loud.

Parenting is a relationship, PP, and not a job.

This is a nice response to a truly bizarre post by PP SAHM. Get that chip off your shoulder, PP! Be confident in who you are!