Separate Bedrooms

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very common in Asperger / Nt marriages.

Really I didn't know! We're a nt/asd marriage and sleep apart.

Oh really? Why is that. We sleep apart and I love It. My spouse always claims to be undx Asperger’s.
He snore and gets up a million times a night and leaves his clothes all over the floor so he has his own room now.

ASD dh snores through his CPAP and we have a sexless marriage.
I also like to keep my bedroom (closet) messier than his. He only has a dozen top and pants plus suits.

[Anonymous]

Parents slept separately. They divorced. Last 5 years of 20+ year marriage, we slept separately per ex. We divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I love having a seperate bedroom. It works for us because we spend a lot of time alone with each other, and we read together in the evening, so our conversation and interaction does not stop. Sleep and comfort is fantastic for our heath and contributes to us being in a good mood.

Now, as far as sex is concerned, I feel most people wonder about that in a marriage with seperate bedrooms. I can only speak for myself - we have a great sex-life and I think it is due to the fact that we are in seperate rooms. When my DH comes at night to my room, it feels exciting (and a bit illicit) like a lover is coming to me. It is a very different feel than being at arms length in the marital bed. Similarly, DH feels very desired when I slip into his bed because it is for the express purpose of having sex. Frankly, it feels like we are having an affair and it spills into our normal daily life. We are in our 50s and we are averaging 3 times a week. The best part is not the frequency of sex, but the quality and variety of the type of sex we are having.

My only regret is that I wish we had done it a bit sooner. There was a sexually dead and boring period in our marriage when kids were smaller and we were in the same room. I think there should be two beds for married adults - a bed for wonderful sleep, quite and rest that rejuvenates you, and the marital bed which should be a place of intimacy, pleasure and romance that makes your marriage stronger.

We have gone back to the same bedroom after having separate ones while the kids were young, and sleep was a little more scattered. Had the same experience re: sex — separate did not make it worse, in fact it felt fun and novel in a different way. But we like being in the same bedroom now too. Nice to cuddle and fall asleep after.

[Anonymous]

DH and I sleep separately about half the time. We like our space in bed. He sleeps still, I’m a thrasher. I like it cold, he likes it warm. I wrestle with blankets and he doesn’t. I wake up during the night pretty frequently and that disrupts DH’s sleep. We have sex/cuddle right before bed and then separate. He goes right to sleep and I stay up reading for a while longer.

Anyways, we’re much happier and more rested this way. I love having a “room of one’s own”.

[Anonymous]

We sleep separately because of work schedules and having to get up at very different times. It doesn't really impact our sex life because we still cuddle together every night before bed and still have sex 3-5 times per week.