Separate Bedrooms

[Anonymous]

Just wondering, as couples get older, how common do you think it is to sleep in separate bedrooms? Not looking for judgment, just wondering if it’s more common than I think. I’ve recently come across a few different couples who sleep separately. I didn’t realize this happened so much. I don’t think these marriages are in trouble, no I’m not sure that they’re amazing either.

Ironically, I’m saying this as someone whose husband snores, and I feel some relief when he’s out lat or on a business trip and I get to sleep alone. However, I think if he slept in a separate bedroom in our house, on a regular basis, it would make me really sad.

[Anonymous]

Separate bedroom since we turned 40. 45 now. Don't know if it's common but it works for us

[Anonymous]

If it’s good enough for the royals…🤷🏼‍♀️

[Anonymous]

Whatever works for you but if snoring is the only issue, see a sleep apnea specialist or buy earplugs for yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for you but if snoring is the only issue, see a sleep apnea specialist or buy earplugs for yourself.

Sleeping with earplugs everyday sounds miserable.

[Anonymous]

I know several couples who have separate bedrooms and enjoy the freedom and ability to sleep more soundly. 2 couples say it has had no impact on their relationship/level of intimacy and 1 couple admits (husband) that they feel less close to his wife and he attributes it to the separate bedrooms.

DH and I slept separately for about 2 months after our youngest (who was not initially a good sleeper) and it had a significant impact on our relationship. We tend to talk/share in bed at night and have always slept close together and losing those things was not good for us. We both felt a sense of distance.

I would say try it but only if you are the type of couple can share honestly how you're feeling about it.

[Anonymous]

It may work or you may gradually turn into flatmates instead of a of a physically and emotionally connect couple.

[Anonymous]

Very common in Asperger / Nt marriages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several couples who have separate bedrooms and enjoy the freedom and ability to sleep more soundly. 2 couples say it has had no impact on their relationship/level of intimacy and 1 couple admits (husband) that they feel less close to his wife and he attributes it to the separate bedrooms.

DH and I slept separately for about 2 months after our youngest (who was not initially a good sleeper) and it had a significant impact on our relationship. We tend to talk/share in bed at night and have always slept close together and losing those things was not good for us. We both felt a sense of distance.

I would say try it but only if you are the type of couple can share honestly how you're feeling about it.

We recently moved back into one bedroom and although it didn’t hamper our intimacy to sleep separately, I like this a lot more.

Before, he was snoring and I wasn’t sleeping that well due to younger kids. Ear plugs and white noise works now, plus I must be sleeping more deeply.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Very common in Asperger / Nt marriages.

Really I didn't know! We're a nt/asd marriage and sleep apart.

[Anonymous]

we've had separate bedrooms going on two years now. pandemic stress insomnia in me led me to start sleeping in the spare room and then it just became mine.

we've been together 14 years, married for 7. we have DS4.

it works for us. we still find time to be intimate. but i like the space.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think it’s common, to answer your question.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very common in Asperger / Nt marriages.

Really I didn't know! We're a nt/asd marriage and sleep apart.

Oh really? Why is that. We sleep apart and I love It. My spouse always claims to be undx Asperger’s.
He snore and gets up a million times a night and leaves his clothes all over the floor so he has his own room now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Whatever works for you but if snoring is the only issue, see a sleep apnea specialist or buy earplugs for yourself.

Sleeping with earplugs everyday sounds miserable.

NP. Not due to relationships but I have slept with earplugs for 31 years. (The impact of earplugs on relationships is just a bonus.) I am also pro-separate bedrooms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Very common in Asperger / Nt marriages.

Really I didn't know! We're a nt/asd marriage and sleep apart.

Oh really? Why is that. We sleep apart and I love It. My spouse always claims to be undx Asperger’s.
He snore and gets up a million times a night and leaves his clothes all over the floor so he has his own room now.

Same reasoning here, he’s a slob, is disruptive during his pee breaks, goes to bed super early (b/c he’s drained from masking all day at work) and wakes up super early to self medicate on two pots of coffee. Wakes up the whole damn house and doesn’t think nothing of it.