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Former relationships...what if I had married him.
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Anonymous
| My ex was/is a wonderful guy. If I'd married him, we'd still be married. We might be happy. The problem is, I'd have too much responsibility. His idealism, while charming, means his jobs were never well paying. His child-like nature, made every walk in the park a joyful adventure, but the flip side is that I would be managing the 401k decisions, making sure the mortgage got paid, having all the worry of supporting the family even if my job wasn't the one I wanted... It would have been a fine life, but not the one I wanted. |
Anonymous
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Oh, PP here:
You women with the "split it 50/50" spouses. I hope you are taking care of yourselves. I strongly advise tucking some money away (even domestic embezzlement, if that's what it takes). I've heard too many stories of women getting blindsided by such men when the men move out and empty the accounts. You wouldn't be posting here if you were comfortable with the situation, so listen to that inner voice and protect yourself. |
Anonymous
| pp, I disagree. This is just a thread about THE PAST. It could have also have been about platonic same sex friends that we lost contact with. I like the responses. These read like a movie script! |
Anonymous
advice taken.. i really need to take care of myself.. |
Anonymous
| What I think about more often-is what if I hadn't married the LOSER I married the first time, moved to NoVA, bought a condo in Alexandria-I would have never met the person I was meant to be with all along. It made it all worth while. I like living and sharing my life with my dh. |
Anonymous
| I would be in prison for murder. |
Anonymous
| I'd be married to the sweetest, kindest, most patient man... and we'd be living in his parents' guest room, with only my waitressing tips for spending money, as he "found himself" and I had babies to satisfy his mother. Oh, and it would be a three-way marriage: him, me, and his mom. |
Anonymous
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Wow, this thread is so apropos as I just heard about my ex. He's living in Park Slope wtih his investment banker wife and daughter. Still a senior partner at a major consulting firm, still workign a million hours, and I'm sure, they are millionaires. We broke up b/c towards the end, we were constantly butting heads about how much he was working, how much I wanted a family where the kids weren't raised by a nanny (like my brother and sisters frankly) and how much more family meant than work. He had other ideas and clearly married someone who shared his values. B/c of his job, they've lived all over the world and I'm sure he's still smart, funny, and sophisticated. And I'm sure his family (who I loved dearly) is still the wonderful, decent, Iowans who I met in my 20's. I still think of him when my own DH is being a jerk or when his sisters (who are witches) say something mean or snarky..
However, I'm fairly sure that if we had gotten married, I'd be depressed, raising my kid by myself, and wondering why I never see my husband. I'd be too much of a wimp to get divorced with a kid, and would be spending our wealth on a team of shrinks. I'm glad my ex married someone with the same life outlook as him, but feel sorry for his daughter, who I'd be surprised if she recognized her dad. As it is, I'll take my DH, who spends every weekend with us, my little house in AU Park, and especially my DS, who knows who his daddy is 
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Anonymous
| When I look back, I think UGH. What did I see in my exes. And the time and heartbreak I wasted on my-ex. He was a mind-f*!#. No looking back here. |
Anonymous
| I sometimes think about an ex - who I call my checklist guy. He seemed so perfect for me on paper and he was so kind. But there just wasn't the passion that I wanted. In retrospect, I feel like passion doesn't matter so much. That sort of thing fades away after several years of marriage anyway. But the kindness and all the checklist things that we had in common - those things would matter more to me now. |
Anonymous
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It's so funny to read this thread and see your life experiences mirrored almost exactly in other people's comments:
If I'd married No. 1 I'd be like Poster 20:19 or 13:20: married to the perfectly nice, but unambitious and somehwat peter-pan-esque guy -- supporting us while he wrote the great american novel or such. If I'd married No.2 I'd be like the Poster who said she'd be a millionaire with "fabulous holidays and miserable married to an abusive, cheating husband." (Except I'd probably be divorced by now). As it turned out, unlike the poster above who lost her platonic friend, I lost mine for a few years, but then found him again after I finally rid myself of No. 2 -- and the 2d time around I married him. Nothing to regret there. |
Anonymous
| Humm. . .if I married my ex I wouldn't be pregnant at the moment. Unfortunately I couldn't bring myself to have sex with him at the end. Shame really, because he is a fantastic, funny man. |
Anonymous
All my ex's sucked. Im happy with DH. Hes kind, funny, helps out with the kids, prefers that I stay home which I happily do and never says anything about money that I want or spend. Now if we could just have sex more often 
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Anonymous
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If i had married my EX..
lets just say that i would probably be on child number 2 or 3 which would have been great cos at the moment i am at child number 0.. I would be happy cos right now i am very miserable and at times feel like jumpin off of a bridge.. I would have my own car.. would not have to walk to work in the dark while he drive's of to work in his car which he sometimes likes to call ours. I would also have a ton of confidence which i lack cos he stripped it all off by the many months of abuse he has put me through... I would be leaving in a small house somewhere but at least i would be happy unlike i am right now.. in a big house but feel so empty inside. I am hopeful though that my ex could be my future.. |