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Former relationships...what if I had married him.
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Anonymous
| Does anyone ever think about what their lives would have been if they married a certain ex? I know that I gave up relationships with wonderful people in the past for no good reason, some because they were too nice. |
Anonymous
I'd be divorced. I'm pretty confident I married the right person so the "what if?" game always ends up at the same conclusion for me 
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Anonymous
| I guess that sounded pompous. I don't mean for it to....I just meant that I think everyone plays those games, but in the end we all broke up with them for a reason....or them with us. Anyway, if you felt they were too nice you probably still would. Or maybe they're not so nice now. |
Anonymous
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I would be extremely extremely wealthy and living in Greenwich, CT. I would probably have four children too!
I don't think I would have worked for too long. I would also be more conservative. Hopefully at least I would be skinnier! |
Anonymous
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PP here: my post sounds so obnoxious. Sorry, I'm just describing my ex's current situation.
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Anonymous
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OP here. pp that was cute. I am happy with my hubbie too, but I married late (40) and I got very scared that I would never meet the right person. Those years of stress were hard.
I asked this question because my niece met a very nice man and is thinking about marriage. Lots of relatives are saying she's too young, 23. But I'm not sure these nice guys are as common in your late 30's as they are in your 20's. If she drops him, some other woman will quickly snap him up. |
Anonymous
| This is a tough one. I would not have been happy w/ any of my ex's. However, my 23 year old daughter is getting serious with her 25 year old boyfriend. I keep thinking of how young and idealistic I was at that age and understand where they are at. At the end of the day, they both have the same value systems and are going in the same direction (if they could only find a damn job!!!). Breathe in Jesus, Breathe out Satan! |
Anonymous
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[quote=Anonymous]This is a tough one. I would not have been happy w/ any of my ex's. However, my 23 year old daughter is getting serious with her 25 year old boyfriend. I keep thinking of how young and idealistic I was at that age and understand where they are at. At the end of the day, they both have the same value systems and are going in the same direction (if they could only find a damn job!!!). Breathe in Jesus, Breathe out Satan![/quote]
lol you sound like my mother. My brother and his GF are 21 and they just welcomed their second baby and are talking marriage...but they dont have jobs and live with my mom. Shes putting them out on the 1rst though...:/ |
Anonymous
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I never think about life with exes other than to breathe a sigh of relief that I'm no longer with any of them.
To OP -- I really don't believe you should have any regrets about ending previous relationships and wondering "what if's." Your exes may have been wonderful people, but clearly they weren't wonderful for you or you'd still be together. I don't think young age alone is reason enough to not get married. Some people, granted not many, know themselves well enough at an early age to figure out what makes them happy and who they click with. |
Anonymous
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I'm the poster from 18:40.
I actually met my husband when I was first out of College....I was 22 (he's 1 1/2 years older). We got married when I was 24 and I had my daughter last year, at 27. I will admit that I know a lot of people who got divored who married in their early 20s, but I also know a lot of people who are still happy. Granted, none of us have been married that long, so we'll see how it goes with time I guess! I just think that it depends on so many things that have nothing to do with age. I know people who are 22 who are way more prepared for marraige than people I know who are 40. It depends that the people know what's going on. If they're all idealistic...it's not necessarily going to work....when I got married I was aware that it wasn't like a movie. I don't think everyone is. Some of my friends think you get married and your life is solved for you. They think that I'm married so that's it for problems and we just snuggle and look in each other's eyes all the time. Marraige is wonderful with the right person but it's work! My Mother told me something I tell all of my friends now....before I got married she said this: "He will not change. Everything you don't like about him will only get more annoying". Haha. I think being too young to get married is subjective. My friends who got married in their 30s often tell me that they would have never been ready at my age to have a baby, but then one said "I don't know....maybe if I met the right guy I would have been ready. Who knows?". You are right about one thing though....giving this one up doesn't mean there will be another one coming along later. If she feels she wants to marry him no one is going to stop her. To 19:09: I often say that I think the most important part of marraige that you are going in the same direction....separately....that you both want the same things and the same type of life, so I liked your post. |
Anonymous
| I would have a drinking problem. |
Anonymous
Hysterical. I would probably have a drinking problem AND be extremely wealthy living in Greenwich!
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Anonymous
| deeeevorced |
Anonymous
Me three! Drinking problem, extremely wealthy and living in the Bay Area. And you'd probably end up seeing me on "Snapped" or one of those other true crime shows as the woman who "had it all" but just lost it one day. Soooo lucky we all are to have dodged that bullet. |
Anonymous
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I would be married to a depressed person who has a hard time expressing feelings, and I think my personality would be different as a result. In a negative sense. Sometimes I think about that ex, because I miss the adoration of an early relationship, and DH and I moved beyond that years ago! But I recognize my nostalgia for the ex is only because 90% of that relationship was the swoony, puppy love, early stages. We didn't give it enough time to mellow into the later stage -- which is when I would have woken up to find myself married to a depressed person who has a hard time expressing his feelings, with me miserable and frustrated because of it.
I'd probably be living in a part of the country I prefer, though - ha. Not a good trade.
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