My sister tells relatives my business

[Anonymous]

Be clear with her what you want shared and not. My rule is if it's not about you, don't repeat it.
But in my IL family, I get updates on every detail of every person's life...they share everything. I've had to set boundaries with spouse that I don't want our entire lives to be public fodder.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be clear with her what you want shared and not. My rule is if it's not about you, don't repeat it.
But in my IL family, I get updates on every detail of every person's life...they share everything. I've had to set boundaries with spouse that I don't want our entire lives to be public fodder.

OP said she literally told her sister not to tell anyone - and the sister didn't listen. Because - the sister tells her business. But OP...tells business to her sister sooooooo...?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's funny that you mention your sister's boundaries but you don't honor your own to yourself after her first "telling of your business". You didn't learn the lesson the first time and mad that your sister is being...your sister.

Keep your business to yourself. Problem truly solved.

So if your sister did this, you would never for 20 years tell her anything again?

[Anonymous]

That’s not exactly something confidential. Mentioning that someone has Covid could just come up in conversation. “Hey how’s your sister doing?” “Pretty good, but just got over having Covid”. You are reading into it too much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't tell your sister anything anymore beyond the weather and anything you don't care is shared. Assume she tells everyone else everything you tell her, because she probably does.

Zip your lips.

I was recently dealing with this. Ugh...I told her you'll telll everyone's business but your own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s not exactly something confidential. Mentioning that someone has Covid could just come up in conversation. “Hey how’s your sister doing?” “Pretty good, but just got over having Covid”. You are reading into it too much.

+1. You are being too sensitive.

[Anonymous]

Stop telling your sister stuff. If you choose to tell her stuff, explicitly tell her not to tell anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s not exactly something confidential. Mentioning that someone has Covid could just come up in conversation. “Hey how’s your sister doing?” “Pretty good, but just got over having Covid”. You are reading into it too much.

+1

But if OP confidentially shared about her affair with her son's orthodontist and then sis blabbed it up and down the Eastern Seaboard, that would be a violation of trust. Covid? A minor surgery? NBD.

[Anonymous]

Everyone talks about covid: whether they had it, how many times, how bad it was, vaccination, who in their family had/has it, etc. It's nbd.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That’s not exactly something confidential. Mentioning that someone has Covid could just come up in conversation. “Hey how’s your sister doing?” “Pretty good, but just got over having Covid”. You are reading into it too much.

Yeah, I don't see the big deal here either. Half of my conversation with my mother is getting an update on everyone in the family, but we're close knit so learning that my Aunt is in the hospital doesn't feel nefarious or like my mom is gossiping.

Maybe these are poor examples, but it reads to me like family members caring about one another. If you'd like to be an island, OP, then keep all your info to yourself. "Problem" solved.

[Anonymous]

I don’t think Covid is a secret. I don’t even know anyone who is still testing for it.

[Anonymous]

You sound like my mom. She wants zero information shared about her life. To an extreme. She’s secretive about stupid stuff like having a cold. It’s bizarre.