Have you had a child at 47 (woman), if so, how's life?

[Anonymous]

I was 43 when I had my son and am now 46, my husband is 47. He keeps us on our toes, as would any 3 yr. old, but we enjoy all the activity and parenting. I never wanted children when I was younger, and never thought about children until I married my husband (my 2nd one). Our son has opened up a whole new world to us! Thankfully, neither of us look our age and we don't "act" old The 3 of us have so much fun together! We're also financially savvy, and can do for our son what our parents weren't able to do for us. We're thinking of possibly having another child, and I would likely be 46-47. In addition, at my son's preschool, there are quite a few older moms.

I knew a woman who had her first at 41, second at 43 and twins at 50. She was a young mom in more ways than one. Who cares what other people think? I'm living my life the way I want to, we're great parents, we have this great life and we're happy. I'm not living this life for someone else, with one exception, my son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why everyone is so upset that the PP's experience growing up with older parents wasn't a good one. There's pros and cons to every situation.

Well look at her reasons and then you decide whether that really merits her categorical response: "Don't do that to your kids!!!" as though having a mom confused with a grandmother, older siblings, and a lack of babysitting for the future grandkids is really what life is all about.

While I don't share the opinion you disagree with so vehemently, you do not get to tell that OP what is a "good reason" or not. It's her opinion.
If you want to disagree -and I do disagree with her- make the argument instead of just being nasty.

[Anonymous]

Sorry, I meant "PP", not "OP".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

OP, you have to really want the child for the right reasons.

I say this not to be harsh, but because I have seen older parents "want a child" because they "feel it is their last shot" so to speak. The parent is tired more than not. The child feels it.

I say this because I see it with friends now. In their case, they actually use "older parent" as an excuse not to parent. The child/ren is missing out on experiences and resources he/they need because the parent is just too tired.

In families, I have seen the mother become "shut down", from being exhausted I suppose, not there for the kids when she is supposed to be, and again, the children pay dearly.

In the end, it is the parent who suffers. In the families I have seen, the grown children seem to resent the parent for not being there and are estranged from the parent.

Just a thought.

Are you on crack? If so, I applaud you for being able to write in complete sentences. But your ideas are truly f-ed.

[Anonymous]

I find the ones who are unaccepting of truthful opinions to be in denial. Does mudslinging somehow improve your parenting skills? Likely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand why everyone is so upset that the PP's experience growing up with older parents wasn't a good one. There's pros and cons to every situation.

Well look at her reasons and then you decide whether that really merits her categorical response: "Don't do that to your kids!!!" as though having a mom confused with a grandmother, older siblings, and a lack of babysitting for the future grandkids is really what life is all about.

While I don't share the opinion you disagree with so vehemently, you do not get to tell that OP what is a "good reason" or not. It's her opinion.
If you want to disagree -and I do disagree with her- make the argument instead of just being nasty.

OK, then. I had a nearly identical experience. I have a sibling 8 years younger than me, a dad who wasn't healthy enough to play catch, much less coach a team, and most of our activities together were physically limited. And both parents passed away before my children were born. I loved my parents dearly as well as my baby sister, did not regret a thing except that I wish they had the chance to meet their grandkids. We had a wonderful life together and the last thing I would wish is that my parents had chosen not to have kids. So since I am literally a counterexample to her experience, I am 100% confident in calling out her advice.

[Anonymous]

Wouldn't it be the bad parents who use their age as an excuse as the problem - and not the person who mentioned it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom had me at 41 and it sucked growing up people constantly saying "honey, you and your grandmother..." or "and is this your grandmother?". not to mention it sucked that my siblings were 10 to 15 years older than me. what's worse is that they passed away and I am left without parents for the exciting times in my life when I need parents (getting married;birth of first born) don't do that to your kids!!!

so you wish you were not born?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Wouldn't it be the bad parents who use their age as an excuse as the problem - and not the person who mentioned it?

It could be either, but then the pp would have said something about her parents not participating. Oddly that wasn't in her list of grievances.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mom had me at 41 and it sucked growing up people constantly saying "honey, you and your grandmother..." or "and is this your grandmother?". not to mention it sucked that my siblings were 10 to 15 years older than me. what's worse is that they passed away and I am left without parents for the exciting times in my life when I need parents (getting married;birth of first born) don't do that to your kids!!!

What a whiner!

And I'm an only with older parents and an older parent myself.

ever hear of being happy with yourself?

I agree, she's a whiner.

Whiner, did it ever occur to you that maybe you were an accident? You are lucky to be alive.

Some older moms didn't really have a choice.