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Have you had a child at 47 (woman), if so, how's life?
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Anonymous
I'm sorry but your post is totally self-absorbed. Everything sucked for you. Your siblings were older, they called your mother "grandmother", and now they aren't around to babysit for you. When you say "don't do that to your kids!!"" do you see the irony? If your advice had reached your own mother, you would not be born. My parents died before I got married and had kids and before my siblings had their kids. And my only regret is that they didn't have the chance to meet their grandchildren, and that the kids will only know them from pictures and stories. They were wonderful, beautiful people and I am sorry their lives were cut short. But I would not trade them for a younger, healthier version. Not in a million years. So if you and your parents didn't have the best life together, stop blaming age for it. Every family has something that is not ideal, but you can't hang life's failures on these things. OP if you have enough love in your heart for your children, your age won't matter. Best wishes to you. |
Anonymous
What a whiner! And I'm an only with older parents and an older parent myself. ever hear of being happy with yourself? |
Anonymous
| I don't understand why everyone is so upset that the PP's experience growing up with older parents wasn't a good one. There's pros and cons to every situation. |
Anonymous
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María del Carmen Bousada de Lara (January 5, 1940 – July 11, 2009) was a Spanish woman who gained worldwide attention when she became the world's oldest mother on December 29, 2006.[1] She later became an outspoken advocate for the rights of older mothers and a subject of considerable controversy.[2]
The twin baby boys, Christian and Pau, were delivered prematurely by caesarean section and weighed 3.5 lb (1.6 kg) each. Bousada de Lara admitted that she had lied to physicians about her age when seeking in vitro fertilization treatment at a clinic in California. At the time of her delivery, Bousada was the world's oldest documented mother. She eclipsed the record established in 2005 by Romanian mother Adriana Iliescu.[3] Two years later, Omkari Panwar, a 70 year-old woman from the Indian state of Uttar Pradesh gave birth to twins. However; Panwar's age cannot be officially documented.[4] Bousada died of cancer on July 11, 2009, when her sons were two and a half years old. Wikipedia |
Anonymous
| I am a lot more put off by mothers who are too young than by mothers who are older than average. Plenty of kids have older dads. Biological considerations aside, why not moms to match? |
Anonymous
OP is 47, not 66. |
Anonymous
| OP, if you are a first-time mom, I think life changes dramatically no matter what your age. I had mine at 39 and thought that I'd already done so much in life, travel, great profession, etc., that I could slow down and be a mom. And I did, and it's been wonderful in so many ways. But I still had to give up a large part of my own life and hobbies while my son was young. He's 3 now and I'm just beginning to return to various hobbies I had had before. That isolation was a little tough for me. I can't wait until he's old enough to really get something out of travel, camping, etc. I think if I had been 25, it would have been horrible, but that's me. So much depends on your personality. |
Anonymous
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I had my DS when I was forty and it was great - except my hair went gray about a year after he was born and I get the grandma thing at stores. It changed my life in that I felt (and still feel) 10 years later that I had far less freedom. I like to go to restaurants (he was terrible as a toddler, so that got put on ice) and the theatre (hard to find babysitters during the week), tons of money towards daycare and preschool (we lived frugally) and I felt I had less time for friends. It was work, baby, chores, work baby, chores, etc. But it got better once he was five and he could do more for himself.
A friend who had twins at 50 felt overwhelmed since she was an only child and had parents in their 70s and 80s with health problems and toddlers. Emotionally, she was on a razor's edge. DS is now 10 though and life has been and is great now that he had some independance. But I'm pissed. I had to have surgery for torn meniscus 5 years ago and the one knee has degenerated significantly since then. I can't play soccer, I can't do a lot of things and the doctor has suggested that I hold off knee replacement as long as possble to minimizr having to replace the knee twice. So, I feel frustrated with my physical limitations and just wish I could keep up more. My parents had my sisters young and I am 10 and 12 years younger than they are and my brother is sixteen months younger than I am. My parents always said that they enjoyed parenting us more - more relaxed and we kept them young in mind and spirit. My mother had me when she was 39 and my brother at 41. |
Anonymous
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After years of infertility and giving up on fertility treatment at the age of 40, I got pregnant at the age of 44 and had my DD at 45! Each and every day has been wonderful! Her first toothless smile, the way she cuddles up on my chest, her little fingers grabbing my thumb, her first step and her first word MOM! Yes, life has changed for DH and I but we would not want it any other way.
We marvel at her every day and are thankful for such a blessing. |
Anonymous
| I'm an older mom and i don't think it matters to my kids. They know we are older than their friends parents. I personally didn't bother me until my kids were in school and i feel a good 10 years out of step with the other parents. They are going out and dressing up nice every weekend and i'm recovering from the week (3 kids FT job). No regrets though - kids keep you young in many respects. |
Anonymous
Well look at her reasons and then you decide whether that really merits her categorical response: "Don't do that to your kids!!!" as though having a mom confused with a grandmother, older siblings, and a lack of babysitting for the future grandkids is really what life is all about. |
Anonymous
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I think it is better. My mom and dad had me in their early 20's. My dad's mom was 44 when I was born, she always gets mistaken for my mom and she is the patient motherly provider I have always needed. I emulate her, completely.
My mom is now 46 (always gets called my sister) and I am 24 and pregnant! Luckily, I am like my grandmother through and through because I would not want to mother my child the way my mom cared for me. There is a lot of much needed experience that comes with age. |
Anonymous
| my parents had a late in life baby when my mom was 42; i was 15... the "baby" in the family has been loved by so many people and had the opportunity to do so many things at a younger age; i think he loves having such older siblings and wouldn't change anything for the world. my parents really enjoyed that last late child much more than any of the other sibs. in short, we're a totally happy family and i highly recommend that you go for it!! |
Anonymous
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OP, you have to really want the child for the right reasons. I say this not to be harsh, but because I have seen older parents "want a child" because they "feel it is their last shot" so to speak. The parent is tired more than not. The child feels it. I say this because I see it with friends now. In their case, they actually use "older parent" as an excuse not to parent. The child/ren is missing out on experiences and resources he/they need because the parent is just too tired. In families, I have seen the mother become "shut down", from being exhausted I suppose, not there for the kids when she is supposed to be, and again, the children pay dearly. In the end, it is the parent who suffers. In the families I have seen, the grown children seem to resent the parent for not being there and are estranged from the parent. Just a thought. |