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Have you had a child at 47 (woman), if so, how's life?
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Anonymous
| Just curious. Is it easy being an older mom? |
Anonymous
|
I am 45 and just had twins. In terms of physically being up to it, I find it no different from when I had my first many years ago except I am less anxious and so able to enjoy it more. I refuse to see the whole pregnancy/childbirth/change in sleep cycles due to feeding schedules as a chore/hardship. I am enjoying having babies again and just going with the new rhythm my life now has. Our family has a new sense of excitement at having these two new babies and much of it is due to not allowing their arrival to cause an upheaval in the family. We keep the twins on a strict schedule (I know many mothers do not like to do this) and this makes it easier for the family to work around that schedule than if we were more reactionary in how we deal with them if that makes sense. They are used to their schedule and are content.
I have decided to change careers and quit my "office job" (a little scary but freeing) and start a business of my own so that I can have enough time with my older son as well as the new arrivals. In short I am very happy and so is my family. All the best to you OP. |
Anonymous
| Parenting Forum, please. |
Anonymous
| But this is not about parenting, it is about the mother. |
Anonymous
| My mom had me at 41 and it sucked growing up people constantly saying "honey, you and your grandmother..." or "and is this your grandmother?". not to mention it sucked that my siblings were 10 to 15 years older than me. what's worse is that they passed away and I am left without parents for the exciting times in my life when I need parents (getting married;birth of first born) don't do that to your kids!!! |
Anonymous
|
8:49 and 9:42 you sound delightful...
I can't offer advice b/c I'm 30 and haven't yet have kids, but congrats to you OP. The journey will be what you make of it. 23:23- best of luck to you in your business venture. Its something I think about often. |
Anonymous
| My mom had me at 45, and yes the grandmother comments stung me (though surely with so many older moms nowadays this won't happen to you) and I did always wish my siblings were closer to me in age. But I also got all the benefits of being an only child since my siblings were in HS and college when I was growing up, and my parents always said that I kept them young. Luckily, my parents are still living and in fairly good health. They have been able to meet my children (though not help out with them the way some of my friends' parents do) and are my favorite people in the world. good luck to you. |
Anonymous
I don't think these are reasons to not have kids when you are over 40. Regardless of the parents' ages they can die young or run out on the family. My father is 82 and is in such good shape he will probably live to be 100. My wife's grandmother live to be 102 and swam 2 miles every day until she was 80 -- she was still swimming in her early 90's. I started going gray at 30, so I have looked like someone's grandfather since I was 35. Was your childhood with older parents so awful that you would rather not have been born? OP, don't be discouraged by the pp. |
Anonymous
| 9:42 - Are you seriously saying that the fact that people sometimes thought your mom was your grandmother was so much of a hardship to you that you would have rather not been born??? |
Anonymous
|
I am not an older first-time mom but I know some, as well as older first-time dads. My #1 observation is having a postive and vibrant personality makes all the difference! I know some older parents whom I love to be with because they are so much fun and are very interesting people (and they work at staying in shape physically). And they are great mentors for me. On the otherhand my own parents are not so old but they act like they are elderly and no one wants to be with them. They have no passions, no hobbies, no interests, no community involvement. My MIL is older than my parents yet her energy and her involvement with family/friends/community make her seem 20 years younger.
It's all about what you do with it. |
Anonymous
|
If you really want a child and think you are physically and financially healthy, then the only concern would be infertility/chromosomal issues.
But as PP rightly said, it is not about your physical age so much as your outlook on life and determination to enjoy every minute of it! My youngish parents are socially isolated because they never want to do anything (and I suffered growing up because of this), while my older in-laws have a large network of friends and actively participate in the family life. |
Anonymous
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There are 18 years between my father and I. Being mistaken for his date when we go out together is awkward in many ways. I think I would prefer to be called his grandaughter.
OP, there are challenges to parenting at every age. Do what is best for your family. |
Anonymous
| 42 or 45 or 47 might be ages when less women have children, but these women aren't old, not by a long shot. My sister is 46 with a five year old and she is a terrific mom, totally keeps up as well as any 26 year old mom, looks great and has fun. She also works full time and handles it all with class. And, hate to say this, but she and her husband's judgement seems a little more reasonable due to their life experience. |
Anonymous
I'm sorry that happened to you, but as someone who had a baby at 41 (the 3rd one), I can tell you that I don't look like anybody's grandma right now, nor do any of my other older mom friends. In fact, I've seen people far younger look more worn out than my friends and I. It's all about attitude, energy, circumstance, etc. It is pretty normal for women to have babies after 40. Get used to it. |
Anonymous
| When I turn 50, my youngest child will be 2. I love being a mom. Being an older mom has great advantages - I am more financially stable. I can afford the things my kids need and the things I want to give my kids. I have lots more patience and insight. I am loving watching my kids learn and grow and really enjoy spending my time with them. In a lot of ways, I think I am a better mom to my kids than I would have been to them if I were younger because I know more than I did when I was younger (not that this is a reason to wait, but it's definitely a benefit with my kids). Since I don't look 50, I am never mistaken for my kids' grandmother but it wouldn't bother me if I was. I do many more interesting things than I probably would otherwise because I want my kids to have certain experiences. |