How to be ok being alone

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Divorced for a couple years now and I just can't relate to this way of thinking at all. I get that we're all different, not everyone handles their post-marriage life in the same way, but this isn't healthy at all. I'm an only child so I suppose that's part of why I can't relate. I never feel lonely at all. I have a child here with me, family and friends that I communicate with frequently. I think there's so much energy put into finding the perfect relationship and having a "life partner," but I've alway side-eyed people who can't hack being alone. If you don't like being with you, why wouldn't anyone else??

You need to focus on other things. Dig into your interests, find new interests, travel, grab coffee/lunch/drinks with a friend. Go alone! Meet new people, hang out with old friends. Take a class, learn something new. Being in a romantic relationship is not the end all be all to life. Life is far too short to sit around wondering if you'll spend the rest of your life alone.

Well duh you have a kid, you aren't alone

[Anonymous]

Surprisingly there ARE people who can happily exist w/out having a significant other.
Really truly.

And other people should be okay w/it.
The fear of being alone is what causes people to remain in bad relationships.
Being alone has many perks, believe me.

• Being able to do what you want, when you want, how you want, where you want, etc.
• Not having to answer to anyone but yourself.

And remember the old adage ->> We all enter this world alone…..and we all leave this world alone too.

[Anonymous]

I think you should not lie to yourself. I agree with the answer ^^ there people who exist easy w/o person aside and someone needs to be co-existing. I'm the second type of person. The key here is not to put your partner as a center of your life.
Try some very easy things like new hobbies, new looks, new shows to be watched while searching for a new partner

[Anonymous]

I don’t want to be anyone’s missing piece.

[Anonymous]

Surprisingly there ARE people who can happily exist w/out having a significant other.
Really truly.

No it’s not surprising. Dingbat DCUM women post all the time on a relationship advice forum that they are done with relationships. It’s not a surprise, you’re not shocking anyone, no one cares. Go be single.

And other people should be okay w/it.

Uh, no. I’m not you, I’m not obligated to think like you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about sex and affection?!?!

[phone] and sharing things with / giving to / caring about someone besides yourself

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When I got divorced over 20 years ago I asked myself if I would be okay if I never had another love relationship. I decided then that I would be okay and that I still wanted to divorce even if I never met anyone else I really connected with.

It's been a long time and I've had a few good relationships but haven't met another life partner. Turns out I'm fine with that, being unattached has many many benefits that I enjoy.

I agree. I've been divorced for seven years and have not had a significant relationship since. I've drawn the conclusion that I may be a " one and done" type of girl. I was with my ex for 20 years, and this is the first time I've been single in my adult life, and I frankly prefer it. It does get boring sometimes, and I admittedly miss certain aspects that come with a relationship. However, I have come to prefer the level of control I have over my life as a singleton, which I did not have as part of a couple.

I am a drama-free person, so I love that there is zero drama in my current life compared to constant drama/chaos brought about by my ex.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about sex and affection?!?!

[phone] and sharing things with / giving to / caring about someone besides yourself

I do worry about this and the lack of deep relationships however I’m just not going to compromise myself for some guy who wants to lie to me for sex. I’m just not. If that means I have more superficial relationships for the next 10 years without sex and just conversation so be it. I spent the first 18 years of my life living that way and can do it again. Polyamorous people have ruined the dating life for many of us sadly. Too many people chasing new experiences and treating others like a store bought gift that they get tired of. Too many stds and violence from much of the dating world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about sex and affection?!?!

[phone] and sharing things with / giving to / caring about someone besides yourself

I do worry about this and the lack of deep relationships however I’m just not going to compromise myself for some guy who wants to lie to me for sex. I’m just not. If that means I have more superficial relationships for the next 10 years without sex and just conversation so be it. I spent the first 18 years of my life living that way and can do it again. Polyamorous people have ruined the dating life for many of us sadly. Too many people chasing new experiences and treating others like a store bought gift that they get tired of. Too many stds and violence from much of the dating world.

If you claim to want to date, do the dating stuff. That includes sex. Otherwise just join Meetup groups.

[Anonymous]

I don’t know. It’s a learned skill. I’m coupled now, but was single for years. Drove me bonkers when a freshly divorced no kids friend would talk about how hard it was to do things solo….when they’d not even remotely noticed when I was. It sounds sour grapes but mostly couldn’t understand how they didn’t know how to be a functional adult without being paired up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about sex and affection?!?!

[phone] and sharing things with / giving to / caring about someone besides yourself

I do worry about this and the lack of deep relationships however I’m just not going to compromise myself for some guy who wants to lie to me for sex. I’m just not. If that means I have more superficial relationships for the next 10 years without sex and just conversation so be it. I spent the first 18 years of my life living that way and can do it again. Polyamorous people have ruined the dating life for many of us sadly. Too many people chasing new experiences and treating others like a store bought gift that they get tired of. Too many stds and violence from much of the dating world.

If you claim to want to date, do the dating stuff. That includes sex. Otherwise just join Meetup groups.

No thanks. Already left a cheater. Meetups are great. If something happens through them more than friendship great and if not then it at least served it’s purpose. I’m never giving my body to someone who doesn’t deserve it again.