Would you leave a school because of the parent community?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If the kid is happy and it’s not affecting them, I wouldn’t move. If it spills over into classroom and interactions with classmates, AND the kid is not happy, then yes, I would move.

Agreeeeeee!


I think you are in odd times, and what you are dealing with when your kid is 4-6 (with 30-50% of their social lives being in Covid times) could change when they are 8 or so.

Give it some time, if you can manage it.

[Anonymous]

In my experience, public school moms were much nastier and more clique-ish. You might be leaving the heat to jump into the fire.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

I guess you bought in the wrong neighborhood, too. Such parents do exist but not so much in the fancier areas and private schools.

I'm guessing this isn't what you're looking for, but we love the parent community at our Title I school. Really nice, down-to-earth people. Low-drama.

[Anonymous]

Omg leave you self-centered loser

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In my experience, public school moms were much nastier and more clique-ish. You might be leaving the heat to jump into the fire.

Sure, if that’s the kind of neighborhood you live in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Omg leave you self-centered loser

Why are you lashing out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

I guess you bought in the wrong neighborhood, too. Such parents do exist but not so much in the fancier areas and private schools.

I'm guessing this isn't what you're looking for, but we love the parent community at our Title I school. Really nice, down-to-earth people. Low-drama.

Our local public is Title I, but we are in a gentrifying area where the voices of the few white families seem to be loudest.

[Anonymous]

Oh hell yes. Life is too short. I mean there are circumstances in which I’d suck it up, like if they had a specialized program for my kid’s very committed interest or need and we couldn’t get that any other way. But just a regular school that is otherwise a good school? Not worth it. You can find another school.

Hell is other parents.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

I guess you bought in the wrong neighborhood, too. Such parents do exist but not so much in the fancier areas and private schools.

I'm guessing this isn't what you're looking for, but we love the parent community at our Title I school. Really nice, down-to-earth people. Low-drama.

Our local public is Title I, but we are in a gentrifying area where the voices of the few white families seem to be loudest.

That's pretty normal. Sometimes also tone-deaf, other times not.

[Anonymous]

No, I did not leave Holton. I had little in common with most of the mothers, but stuck it out. As much as I can say negative about Holton, I can say positive as well. In the end it worked. She got in top 10 college and is prepared completely. Ignore the nasty moms and keep on going.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

I guess you bought in the wrong neighborhood, too. Such parents do exist but not so much in the fancier areas and private schools.

I'm guessing this isn't what you're looking for, but we love the parent community at our Title I school. Really nice, down-to-earth people. Low-drama.

Our local public is Title I, but we are in a gentrifying area where the voices of the few white families seem to be loudest.

Again, the wrong neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

We had a terrible experince in our early years at our ES because of one queen bee mom who forms a clique in whichever grades her DC are in. My one child who was unlucky to be in the same grade as her child was left out as she ddin't deem me important. It was a terrible few years for the kid but things get better in expansion years and new kids come in. We stuck it out as the school is academically very challening.

I do see this mom trying and one or two of her best friends or ladies who want to be her best friend keeping the cliquey attitude going and trying to include any of the kids who have super connected or rich parents in their crew even in the expansion years. Best of luck to them.

We found our crew and are happy. Things do get better as kids get older.

[Anonymous]

A school works a lot better when the parent community is internally in harmony and in harmony with the teachers and administration. That doesn’t mean that no one ever disagrees or that there isn’t productive conflict; it’s more about the general attitude, cooperation, and respect. When the parent community is unpleasant, you tend to get all sorts of negative effects that precipitate out—streakier fundraising, teacher burnout, administration burnout, high tolerance for bullying between students.

Tuition is a lot of money to pay, and your kid’s school years last a long time. I’d carefully consider any obligation that feels like an unpleasant sacrifice.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t leave for pubic for at least another school year due to the pandemic. I think they’re going to continue to struggle with staffing. Are there any other private schools you’ve looked into already? I like the parent culture at DC’s private ES, it’s pretty laid back and inclusive, but I’ve heard some younger grades parents aren’t as laid back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t leave for pubic for at least another school year due to the pandemic. I think they’re going to continue to struggle with staffing. Are there any other private schools you’ve looked into already? I like the parent culture at DC’s private ES, it’s pretty laid back and inclusive, but I’ve heard some younger grades parents aren’t as laid back.

I'm definitely worried about this. (OP here.) We are very limited geographically for a number of reasons, so our pool of schools from which to choose is limited as well. Basically our current private, local public, and two faith-based schools that we don't consider true options.

I think many posters are right about not jumping ship unless it's affecting my kid (which it's not). Kid's experience has been amazing. I think I am going to try to tune out the parent crap, at least for another year.