Would you leave a school because of the parent community?

[Anonymous]

Our preschool went through a long, long bout of this and it was never the same again. We stuck it out due to proximity, but never would have if it had been full-blown school.

[Anonymous]

You’re paying for the experience. If you’re not having a good experience, you’re not getting what you’re paying for.

[Anonymous]

If it’s already this insufferable and your child is only in kindergarten, I’d probably be looking for an exit. There have to be other better options out there and you’re not that invested in the school at this point. Move on and don’t look back.

[Anonymous]

I would switch. Nothing can beat peace of mind and this type of drama is not something you should pay for- especially if it’s a stretch.

[Anonymous]

I think it would depend on the answers to a couple of key questions:

1) How many new families will likely be entering next year? First grade isn't usually a major entry year, but if you know there will be a fair amount of turnover or addition of new families, that could help shift the dynamic.

2) Is the parents dynamic influencing things for your child and making their experience worse? If so, that would be a huge factor in favor of leaving for me. If it's just parent machinations that are driving you nuts but not affecting your child, though, it might be worth figuring out how you can disengage without moving your child.

[Anonymous]

I’d do it now since your DC is only in K. It’s true that new kids will come in during expansion years and that can be a positive change. it can also go the other way. No way to predict what will happen. I kept waiting, hoping the negative parental involvement would wane as my DCs got older but for one of them it just got worse. Watched a few parents push a teacher out (a favorite of both my DCs) and get other teachers shifted around. LS and MS were the worst. It’s tough going through the tween/teenage years having to be perfect and happy all the time. Many parents expect the school to deliver that because of the high price tag. It’s a zero sum game in many instances so the school plays whack-a-mole trying to please the squeakiest parent. By HS most parents back off a bit b/c they know they need good recs for college apps and their DCs are driving/socially independent. If we had a do-over would’ve stayed in public school until 8th grade then moved them to private for HS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I had two kids in a K-8. I didn’t like one ☝️ aren’t grade but really like the other. In a small school there can be a lot of variety of parents.

+1

Also have 2 kids at a k-8 and find the parents in one grade friendly and easy to get along with and the other grade I haven’t connected with any of the parents.

There is another family with kids in the same grade as mine, and i find that parent to do odd, cliquey things, so I am kind of bummed I am stuck with them for many more years and events to come.

Kids having a good academic and social experience, I like the leadership, and we did K in public for our oldest and did not find it to be a good experience, so definitely not going back to public.

[Anonymous]

The same thing happens in public!

[Anonymous]

Move schools or try it for one more year to be sure. They are still very young. You have other options for different private schools too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

[Anonymous]

If the kid is happy and it’s not affecting them, I wouldn’t move. If it spills over into classroom and interactions with classmates, AND the kid is not happy, then yes, I would move.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As we approach re-enrollment, I am more and more skeptical about keeping our child at their private school.

The year has been good for kid so far, and there are lots of things I appreciate about the school (like hours of time outside daily).

BUT, it is a not-insignificant financial sacrifice for us AND the parent community as a whole is exceedingly demanding, controlling, cliquish, and petty, which is bleeding over into the "feel" of the school. Parents are pitting children against each other and against certain teachers, petitions are circulating, the administration is in flux, etc.

Kid has made a good friend and I have made connections with at least a couple of like-minded families. But still... the bad vibes are making me reconsider.

Child has friends at local public, so the switch, while challenging to me in terms of pedagogical / philosophical alignment, would likely be just fine for kid.

Would this be enough to make you switch?

If the kid likes it and I could afford it I would keep kid in school. Is this school in the area? If you can't afford it, than of course you should think about pulling your kid but, not liking the other parents wouldn't be a good reason. Now if the administration wasn't good at their jobs that is a valid reason too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

The normal, laid back parents send the kids to school and don't let the toxic parents get to them. Just ignore.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The same thing happens in public!

OP here--I talked with a few friends with kids in the local public and they said the parent community is really toxic there as well. Sigh.

Where are the normal, laid-back parents who just want to send their kids to school and let the school do its job?

I guess you bought in the wrong neighborhood, too. Such parents do exist but not so much in the fancier areas and private schools.

[Anonymous]

I live in a fancy area and send my kids to private and just ignore the a-holes. We do our own thing. It does get harder the older the kids get but you might find a few kindred spirits hidden in the muck if you stay another year or two. I think the nicest community of parents we have experienced was at oneness family school in Bethesda. A lovely little Montessori school. FYI