If I Divorce My Husband, I Will Be All Alone

[Anonymous]

You have probably deluded yourself about many things because of your fear of being alone, OP. For one thing— your kids. Now that they are older, talk with them and ask them for support. I bet you will be happily surprised.

[Anonymous]

OP, I'm 50 and mid divorce.

Why do you think you will be alone? You have kids. Perhaps you will have grandchildren at some point. You can be the helpful and involved grandparent, instead of being stuck with an angry old man who will monopolize your time.

You'll have time to volunteer and build bonds. Would you join a church or place of worship? There are tons of opportunities to serve there and bond with others. There are also tons of non-religious places to serve-a food bank, an animal shelter, ect...where you can meet others and be a valued member of the team.

I already have a busy and full life and look forward to travel (in the future) and new opportunities and hopefully, grandchildren!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: OP, I'm 50 and mid divorce.

Why do you think you will be alone? You have kids. Perhaps you will have grandchildren at some point. You can be the helpful and involved grandparent, instead of being stuck with an angry old man who will monopolize your time.

You'll have time to volunteer and build bonds. Would you join a church or place of worship? There are tons of opportunities to serve there and bond with others. There are also tons of non-religious places to serve-a food bank, an animal shelter, ect...where you can meet others and be a valued member of the team.

I already have a busy and full life and look forward to travel (in the future) and new opportunities and hopefully, grandchildren!

All of this. I want her life! This sounds 1000% better then being with someone who is grumpy and mean all the time.

[Anonymous]

You need therapy. Being alone should be a bad thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if part of the reason that you have been drifting apart from your friends is that you have a bad marriage. That sounds emotionally draining!

I can’t say for sure but I believe that anybody, with effort, can cultivate rewarding friendships at any stage of life.

OP, if you're my friend, please reach out.

The past two years have been draining. A true friend would understand if you are seeking to reconnect because with your stressful marriage and covid, you kind of let friendships drift.

[Anonymous]

For medical issues, you might be looking into things like a "medical transport" company. There are places like nursing homes but for temporary recovery from surgery. Read up on geriatric care management, and you will find some resources.

Think of it this way: if you wait until DH needs your nursing care, how much will your kids hate you for walking away from him while he is sick? Are you going to divorce a guy who is in recovery from a heart attack? Get out now while he is healthy! If he has isolated and controlled you already, think about the power he will have and the loneliness you feel feel trapped every day with a sick martyr.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re worse than alone now.

Exactly. Plus you have your kids. You can rebuild some old friendship as well. I bet some friends are lonely too.

[Anonymous]

"he criticizes me on nearly daily basis, tells me that I am irrational or stupid and unable to hold a job which is patently untrue so I don't even know how he came up with that), and yells loudly at me for thirty or more minutes at a time probably five or more times a week. He has called me fat, stupid, and a "dumb c----."

Rather be alone than have this life.

[Anonymous]

This thread is 4 years old. I hope OP is divorced by now.

[Anonymous]

You deserve more. Your kids will be fine. I can’t imagine that they don’t know how poorly their dad has been treating you. You need to go to therapy for yourself and separate/divorce. He is an abuser. There is more to your life than these crumbs.