Holiday from Hades. Come on in if this was one of the worst

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP Sadly you just learned that MIL is not reliable to be discreet. Since you are expecting a baby this is a good thing to know as baby grows up. More like this to come.

Yes. Don't share concerns about the baby's health or information about diagnoses or details about report cards or anything you wouldn't post on a billboard for the world to see.

The biggest lesson should be about the baby’s birth itself. The minute you tell her, she’s going to tell everyone. Now you know. Tell her when you’re ready to send the text/email/social media/whatever to your family. No emotional call from hospital that baby was just born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL has a weird pattern of instigating and then speculating how people will react.

For example, we told her privately that we are expecting and would love to announce to the family at Christmas. She immediately told everyone and advised them to "act surprised" when the news came. When we expressed to her that it was hurtful, she started in with "I bet you'll never let me see the baby then. I bet you will cut me off!" I would never do any of that, but the behavior still stings.

I'm not quite sure what this is called, but she does it frequently. She'll bully someone, then propose an equally hurtful reaction.

It’s called narcissism. She can only see how she feels, what she wants, and how she would react (and assumes you would react that way, too). She wants to control situations and dictate what everyone else does. She also wants the attention and satisfaction of stealing your thunder. Sorry you have to deal with this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:At least you got to have your holidays. I had COVID so had to stay home and cancel all our plans and be sick in bed.

I’m sorry. I really hope you bounce back quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll go first. My sister spread private ugly details as gossip to my family about my recently deceased husband. SIL sent her reject jewelry to my DDs for Christmas. At least it’s over …

wow
first world problem


At least you got to have your holidays. I had COVID so had to stay home and cancel all our plans and be sick in bed.


In reference to both of the above replies… this woman just lost her husband and that’s what your feedback is? You both lack serious compassion. Oh and boo hoo to the one that cancelled the plans.

[Anonymous]

Son vomited morning of the 23rd, mom insisted we come anyway, we stupidly agreed. Now we’re in a rented cabin all puking at various points. To top that off we ALSO drove 4.5 hours to see DHs family Saturday just to turn around Sunday and drive the 4.5 hours back. Awful awful awful.

Next year we are staying home. If grandparents and other extended family want to visit, they are welcome to, but between logistics, time, and the general discomfort of not being home I can safely say I am NEVER doing this again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Son vomited morning of the 23rd, mom insisted we come anyway, we stupidly agreed. Now we’re in a rented cabin all puking at various points. To top that off we ALSO drove 4.5 hours to see DHs family Saturday just to turn around Sunday and drive the 4.5 hours back. Awful awful awful.

Next year we are staying home. If grandparents and other extended family want to visit, they are welcome to, but between logistics, time, and the general discomfort of not being home I can safely say I am NEVER doing this again.

Staying home is always good at Christmas. Sorry you are sick.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My son puked after lunch so I didn’t cook the planned roast and we had sandwiches for dinner instead.

Glad for you that is your worst holiday. Of course not glad you son throw up one time, but promise you it could be so much worse.

[Anonymous]

OP here: Yes still grieving. But thinking it over I realize that my sister has a real problem with alcohol that I have been denying. Of course she says and does all these hurtful things— she’s a serious alcoholic and much worse than I really understood. This last was just one in a long line of inappropriate behavior.
As for SIL. It was a bit hurtful. We are literally discarding the “jewelry”. Its homemade cloth and filthy. Unfortunately it reminded me of how SIL bullied DH over the jewelry, the real jewelry. He was grieving and she took advantage when his mother died. Old wounds. Holidays are a time when old wounds seem to surface.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: While MIL had some fabulous jewelry handed down to SIL the stuff she gave my DDs was truly “junk jewelry” like the kind of 90s era beads on a string type. It was a sort of insult gift. The DDs nicely saying “what is this for?” What is it?

I love my beads on a string I found at an estate sale!

Just stop getting offended at every little thing, OP. Channel your grief some other way. Your post reeks of trying to find fault everywhere.

Wtf? You do not think it’s weird for someone to go through their old crap, pick out something they no longer like, and wrap it as a gift? For all we know the niece does not wear jewelry. I agree with you OP, it is an insult gift. It says I feel obligated to give you something but refuse to spend a dime or even take the time to pick through my used crap to choose something you may like. To do this close after the death of your daughters father is even worse.

I cannot compare with that. But after a year of not seeing my parents at Christmas, I can say my mom makes Christmas kind of miserable. She complains the entire time. Out loud she will say things like “why did you make so much food?” And then she will whisper insults about our food to my in-laws. But she’s hard of hearing, so she is not really whispering. She also is always unhappy with our food because we do not overcook everything like she does. I am sure she is telling all her sisters how we tried to kill her with “undercooked” meat. I really wish we could just see them on non-holidays. But that would break her heart, so we do what we have to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL has a weird pattern of instigating and then speculating how people will react.

For example, we told her privately that we are expecting and would love to announce to the family at Christmas. She immediately told everyone and advised them to "act surprised" when the news came. When we expressed to her that it was hurtful, she started in with "I bet you'll never let me see the baby then. I bet you will cut me off!" I would never do any of that, but the behavior still stings.

I'm not quite sure what this is cal tome MILled, but she does it frequently. She'll bully someone, then propose an equally hurtful reaction.

Next time MIL hears the news with everybody else. Or after everybody else. If she's going to complain she doesn't get to see the baby then give her something to complain about. Let her hear from someone else when the baby is born. If she asks why tell her it was your announcement to make and confiding to her in the past turned out to be a mistake.

[Anonymous]

Christmas can be sort of miserable. That’s what the thread is about.

[Anonymous]

Here’s how my holiday has gone:

—job eliminates two weeks before Xmas. But still negotiating through the terms because it was clearly a decision made in haste and they were unprepared for all the follow-through.
—my mom’s cancer is back. Another tumor just found on Wednesday and surgery isn’t an option. We don’t live near my parents and it’s been so hard to not be there.
—my son and husband have covid and I’m just sitting here waiting to test positive myself.
—my dad is sick and probably has it. Not able to test for 2 more days.
—my sister broke her wrist falling yesterday
—we’re all still reeling from the death of a sibling last month

It’s been a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how my holiday has gone:

—job eliminates two weeks before Xmas. But still negotiating through the terms because it was clearly a decision made in haste and they were unprepared for all the follow-through.
—my mom’s cancer is back. Another tumor just found on Wednesday and surgery isn’t an option. We don’t live near my parents and it’s been so hard to not be there.
—my son and husband have covid and I’m just sitting here waiting to test positive myself.
—my dad is sick and probably has it. Not able to test for 2 more days.
—my sister broke her wrist falling yesterday
—we’re all still reeling from the death of a sibling last month

It’s been a lot.

Oh PP. That is a lot. Sending some love your way. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Here’s how my holiday has gone:

—job eliminates two weeks before Xmas. But still negotiating through the terms because it was clearly a decision made in haste and they were unprepared for all the follow-through.
—my mom’s cancer is back. Another tumor just found on Wednesday and surgery isn’t an option. We don’t live near my parents and it’s been so hard to not be there.
—my son and husband have covid and I’m just sitting here waiting to test positive myself.
—my dad is sick and probably has it. Not able to test for 2 more days.
—my sister broke her wrist falling yesterday
—we’re all still reeling from the death of a sibling last month

It’s been a lot.

I’m sorry. That’s a lot happening. I hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours wasn’t bad, but different and a little sad. 2 adult kids and one was isolating with Covid and the other alternates years with in-laws. So it turned out to be unexpectedly quiet, which seemed strange. Thank goodness for zoom.

I love hand me down jewelry! I have some of my grandmothers jewelry including her 2.5 Carat diamond engagement ring. I wear it every day. We also have a lot of family silver, which we use pretty regularly. My DCs have full sets of family silver too. My mother always gives us “hand me down” silver or jewelry for Xmas, usually worth $1000 or more.

lol. Care to go through your entire jewelry list and what it’s worth? What a bizarre post.