Holiday from Hades. Come on in if this was one of the worst

[Anonymous]

I’ll go first. My sister spread private ugly details as gossip to my family about my recently deceased husband. SIL sent her reject jewelry to my DDs for Christmas. At least it’s over …

[Anonymous]

Ours wasn’t bad, but different and a little sad. 2 adult kids and one was isolating with Covid and the other alternates years with in-laws. So it turned out to be unexpectedly quiet, which seemed strange. Thank goodness for zoom.

I love hand me down jewelry! I have some of my grandmothers jewelry including her 2.5 Carat diamond engagement ring. I wear it every day. We also have a lot of family silver, which we use pretty regularly. My DCs have full sets of family silver too. My mother always gives us “hand me down” silver or jewelry for Xmas, usually worth $1000 or more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours wasn’t bad, but different and a little sad. 2 adult kids and one was isolating with Covid and the other alternates years with in-laws. So it turned out to be unexpectedly quiet, which seemed strange. Thank goodness for zoom.

I love hand me down jewelry! I have some of my grandmothers jewelry including her 2.5 Carat diamond engagement ring. I wear it every day. We also have a lot of family silver, which we use pretty regularly. My DCs have full sets of family silver too. My mother always gives us “hand me down” silver or jewelry for Xmas, usually worth $1000 or more.

Yeah, OP’s complaining about getting valuable diamonds and silver.

[Anonymous]

“Reject jewelry” from an aunt is still family jewelry. If it’s not something they like, they can give it away. Problem is what now?

I am sorry for your loss, but please consider that your world view is skewed by grief. Which is more than understandable.

I’m sorry that your sister shared private details about your husband. If you have a generally good relationship with her, is there a possibility that it wasn’t for gossip, but maybe some misguided attempt at getting you some support and clarity with the help of family? Either way, that’s bad, I’m just wondering if she possibly could have just overstepped rather than being malicious.

I hope you have a better New Year, OP, and much healing in 2022.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Reject jewelry” from an aunt is still family jewelry.

"Family jewelry" has connotations that might not be accurate for this gift. If I give my niece my old earrings from Claire's, that's no more valuable or meaningful than if I give her my old t-shirt from Target.

[Anonymous]

MIL has a weird pattern of instigating and then speculating how people will react.

For example, we told her privately that we are expecting and would love to announce to the family at Christmas. She immediately told everyone and advised them to "act surprised" when the news came. When we expressed to her that it was hurtful, she started in with "I bet you'll never let me see the baby then. I bet you will cut me off!" I would never do any of that, but the behavior still stings.

I'm not quite sure what this is called, but she does it frequently. She'll bully someone, then propose an equally hurtful reaction.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL has a weird pattern of instigating and then speculating how people will react.

For example, we told her privately that we are expecting and would love to announce to the family at Christmas. She immediately told everyone and advised them to "act surprised" when the news came. When we expressed to her that it was hurtful, she started in with "I bet you'll never let me see the baby then. I bet you will cut me off!" I would never do any of that, but the behavior still stings.

I'm not quite sure what this is called, but she does it frequently. She'll bully someone, then propose an equally hurtful reaction.

We all have random people who have a streak of trash behavior born of some trauma or lack of perspective. I am sorry you have to experience it during happy news.

[Anonymous]

OP here: While MIL had some fabulous jewelry handed down to SIL the stuff she gave my DDs was truly “junk jewelry” like the kind of 90s era beads on a string type. It was a sort of insult gift. The DDs nicely saying “what is this for?” What is it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:“Reject jewelry” from an aunt is still family jewelry.

"Family jewelry" has connotations that might not be accurate for this gift. If I give my niece my old earrings from Claire's, that's no more valuable or meaningful than if I give her my old t-shirt from Target.

THIS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:MIL has a weird pattern of instigating and then speculating how people will react.

For example, we told her privately that we are expecting and would love to announce to the family at Christmas. She immediately told everyone and advised them to "act surprised" when the news came. When we expressed to her that it was hurtful, she started in with "I bet you'll never let me see the baby then. I bet you will cut me off!" I would never do any of that, but the behavior still stings.

I'm not quite sure what this is called, but she does it frequently. She'll bully someone, then propose an equally hurtful reaction.

Oof, I am so sorry you didn't get to share your happy news yourself! Agree with a PP that this is some kind of warped manifestation of her own experiences. That doesn't make it any easier to deal with, though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here: While MIL had some fabulous jewelry handed down to SIL the stuff she gave my DDs was truly “junk jewelry” like the kind of 90s era beads on a string type. It was a sort of insult gift. The DDs nicely saying “what is this for?” What is it?

I love my beads on a string I found at an estate sale!

Just stop getting offended at every little thing, OP. Channel your grief some other way. Your post reeks of trying to find fault everywhere.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here: While MIL had some fabulous jewelry handed down to SIL the stuff she gave my DDs was truly “junk jewelry” like the kind of 90s era beads on a string type. It was a sort of insult gift. The DDs nicely saying “what is this for?” What is it?

I love my beads on a string I found at an estate sale!

Just stop getting offended at every little thing, OP. Channel your grief some other way. Your post reeks of trying to find fault everywhere.

Nope. I'd be annoyed if I got this crap too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
I love my beads on a string I found at an estate sale!

And yet they’d be a terrible present for your niece.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ours wasn’t bad, but different and a little sad. 2 adult kids and one was isolating with Covid and the other alternates years with in-laws. So it turned out to be unexpectedly quiet, which seemed strange. Thank goodness for zoom.

I love hand me down jewelry! I have some of my grandmothers jewelry including her 2.5 Carat diamond engagement ring. I wear it every day. We also have a lot of family silver, which we use pretty regularly. My DCs have full sets of family silver too. My mother always gives us “hand me down” silver or jewelry for Xmas, usually worth $1000 or more.

Reject jewelry sounds to me like cheap costume jewelry she's trying to get rid of. My aunt-in-law does this - she just gives us old shit she's trying to get rid of and says she's trying to "keep it in the family". Lady, I don't need the cheap, plastic-handled, dull knives that granny used to use. I throw it all straight in the trash if I know it's not valuable. A few things, we've been able to sell on eBay.

[Anonymous]

let’s move on from the jewelry- ngaf