Should We Cancel Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not go and share air with Unvaxxed people who were just in a movie theater. Sorry.

We *gasp* took our kids to a movie today. There were two other people in the entire theater.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a bit ridiculous your brother won't take the rapid tests for he and the kids. Like damn, what's the big deal? I would LOVE to have a box on hand right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have really polarized opinions about Covid. Sounds like everyone else is on the same page and you are at the other end of the spectrum. You feel disregarded. But I bet they do too. You think you are right and I bet they do too. You want them to pick you and they probably want you to pick them. In other words you’re both doing the same thing and feeling the same way.

+1

OP here. It’s not about who’s right. I respect their different approach. It’s just my brother’s unwillingness to ever compromise and my parents enabling it. They already dictated the day, time, and place. They didn’t listen to my preferences. This is an ongoing pattern for most holidays - my brother sets the conditions.

When I care about someone and want to see them, I try to respect and accommodate their concerns within reason. Even if I think it’s unnecessary or stupid.

Also, my kids are always masked at school and indoor playdates. So the risk from the unmasked family gathering is not the same. I’m not saying my approach is better, just that I wish my family cared enough about me to take the tests that I’m offering to get them.

Welp, you know who they are then. The question is, are you going to continue to acquiesce? Or are you ready to set a boundary even though you will be seen as the "bad guy"? Because as you know, you can stay home but they are not all going to "see the light." You will be the b*tch. This is always how it plays out, am I right? Are you ready to be okay with that? If not, then you're going to have to suck it up again this year until you're ready to say "enough."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not go and share air with Unvaxxed people who were just in a movie theater. Sorry.

We *gasp* took our kids to a movie today. There were two other people in the entire theater.

Not relevant to the OP.

[Anonymous]

Yes, go. I have no idea what most of my family have been doing the past week. Nobody is requiring we provide a list of activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not go and share air with Unvaxxed people who were just in a movie theater. Sorry.

We *gasp* took our kids to a movie today. There were two other people in the entire theater.

Not relevant to the OP.

Actually the whole premise of the op was that she found out her brother took his kids to a movie theater and therefore wants them to take covid tests. The relevance is that a trip to the movies is not necessarily any more risky than anything she and her family are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of drama with my family - my brother and parents live a very different lifestyle and do not approve of mine. I feel like my parents treat my brother better than me. That said, we generally keep things civil for my children's sake and we celebrate holidays together and my kids have great relationships with their uncle and grandparents.

We are supposed to get together for Christmas at my parents' house. The time and place was set by them based on what my brother wanted, even though it was not what I preferred. But whatever, it's Christmas, I said fine.

I'm just finding out that my brother took his 2 young unvaxxed kids to the theater a few days ago and refuses to do rapid tests before the family gathering. He says he doesn't want to go through the hassle of getting tests. I offered to share mine, and he said it would be too traumatizing to his kids.

My frail grandparents will be at the gathering. They are vaxxed and boosted, but still, it feels risky. Plus I don't feel like having me and my family catch COVID, even though we're healthy, it would be a nuisance and ruin our holiday break.

None of my family feels COVID is a risk, they say I'm overreacting and if I'm not happy, I don't have to come.

I am really torn about what to do. On the one hand, we can not go and just spend the weekend alone, but it feels sort of pathetic and not like real Christmas. Like, what are we going to do all weekend? We already have done a lot of the usual holiday activities with the kids. Our friends are all traveling or celebrating with their families.

On the other hand, we can go, take the risk, kids will have fun, but I will feel shitty about my family totally disregarding my concerns, I'm mad at all of them for yet again prioritizing my brother's needs over me. I'm sure sarcastic remarks will be made about me too and I'll have to just laugh them off.

WWYD?

Well, I have a functioning brain and it would never have occurred to me to spend any time with people that I know are not vaccinated. You cancel Christmas with them and tell them why and, no, they cannot come to your house. Why are you even asking?!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a lot of drama with my family - my brother and parents live a very different lifestyle and do not approve of mine. I feel like my parents treat my brother better than me. That said, we generally keep things civil for my children's sake and we celebrate holidays together and my kids have great relationships with their uncle and grandparents.

We are supposed to get together for Christmas at my parents' house. The time and place was set by them based on what my brother wanted, even though it was not what I preferred. But whatever, it's Christmas, I said fine.

I'm just finding out that my brother took his 2 young unvaxxed kids to the theater a few days ago and refuses to do rapid tests before the family gathering. He says he doesn't want to go through the hassle of getting tests. I offered to share mine, and he said it would be too traumatizing to his kids.

My frail grandparents will be at the gathering. They are vaxxed and boosted, but still, it feels risky. Plus I don't feel like having me and my family catch COVID, even though we're healthy, it would be a nuisance and ruin our holiday break.

None of my family feels COVID is a risk, they say I'm overreacting and if I'm not happy, I don't have to come.

I am really torn about what to do. On the one hand, we can not go and just spend the weekend alone, but it feels sort of pathetic and not like real Christmas. Like, what are we going to do all weekend? We already have done a lot of the usual holiday activities with the kids. Our friends are all traveling or celebrating with their families.

On the other hand, we can go, take the risk, kids will have fun, but I will feel shitty about my family totally disregarding my concerns, I'm mad at all of them for yet again prioritizing my brother's needs over me. I'm sure sarcastic remarks will be made about me too and I'll have to just laugh them off.

WWYD?

Well, I have a functioning brain and it would never have occurred to me to spend any time with people that I know are not vaccinated. You cancel Christmas with them and tell them why and, no, they cannot come to your house. Why are you even asking?!

Does that seriously include children under 5? (She said young unvaccinated children- so my assumption was that they were not yet eligible)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People have really polarized opinions about Covid. Sounds like everyone else is on the same page and you are at the other end of the spectrum. You feel disregarded. But I bet they do too. You think you are right and I bet they do too. You want them to pick you and they probably want you to pick them. In other words you’re both doing the same thing and feeling the same way.

+1

OP here. It’s not about who’s right. I respect their different approach. It’s just my brother’s unwillingness to ever compromise and my parents enabling it. They already dictated the day, time, and place. They didn’t listen to my preferences. This is an ongoing pattern for most holidays - my brother sets the conditions.

When I care about someone and want to see them, I try to respect and accommodate their concerns within reason. Even if I think it’s unnecessary or stupid.

Also, my kids are always masked at school and indoor playdates. So the risk from the unmasked family gathering is not the same. I’m not saying my approach is better, just that I wish my family cared enough about me to take the tests that I’m offering to get them.

OP, no one, regardless of their vaccination status, should be gathering indoors, unmasked, without testing. You know this to be true. The family dynamic of your parents always choosing your brother existed before COVID, and now, you are seeing what lengths they will go to in order to continue catering to his wishes. They will now risk the health and safety of the entire extended family. That hurts, I am sure. Unfortunately, Omicron doesn't care about your or your brother's feelings.

Sit this one out and maybe tell your parents exactly why. That you've always bent to your brother's wishes even when it was inconvenient for your family because you do value the relationship. But now, that they've made it clear that they are unwilling to take a simple nasal swab for that is recommended by all legitimate health experts before gathering right now, simply because brother doesn't want to, so this is a hard line for you. You hope they have a wonderful holiday, but you are unable to attend under the circumstances.

Your brother probably feels sick and doesn't want to swab because he knows he is positive. Stay far, far away from them.