Cancelling trip to see unvaxxed parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you plan on never seeing your parents again? Because COVID is not going to go away.

If you and your kids are vaccinated I would find a way to make the visit feasible.


And I say this as someone who is fully vaccinated and works in healthcare.

+1

I wish they’d show the data in how many vaxxed people are testing positive now. It’s significant. I’m in Hr and we talk, I also lias with the Dzc area private schools on data and the last week was rough. Nothing terrible spike wise but it was all vaxxed adults and teens.

Efficacy like a flu shot, not always a great.

But hospital use among vaccinated is low. Not OP, but I am willing to get a bad cold from Christmas. I am not willing to get so sick I need the hospital from Christmas.

[Anonymous]

You should plan to visit in the summer.

Covid is not going away and it’s not worth permanently ending the grandparent relationship. However, winter is the absolute worst time to travel in terms of illnesses and Covid compounds that. There’s no way in hell I would go for Christmas. I would be fine planning a spring break or summer trip.

It’s your parents choice to not get vaccinated. If they miss Christmas with their grandchildren for the foreseeable future, so be it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t understand this point of view. I know everyone hates - and I understand how obnoxious it is, I really do! - the “my parents are dead and I’d do anything to see them” posters, but seriously, think about it. You’re refusing to see them to prove a point, not because you’re really scared. You and your kids are probably around unvaccinated people all the time.

They’ve been brainwashed into acting against their and everyone else’s best interests, but if you are vaccinated you should not let their lack of critical thinking skills ruin your relationships forever. If you are triple vaxxed, you should visit them because it’s safe for you. If they had suffered brain damage and couldn’t take care of themselves, would you refuse to see them then? Of course not, you’d feel sorry for them.

I know you are posting here so you can get all the DCUM “attagirls!” and “way to gos!” But I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face, and you should go see your parents who love you and whom you probably love, despite their stupidity.

NP, but it didn’t get vaccinated for me. I’m in a low risk age group, healthy, and have no risk factors. I got vaccinated because of the people I care about. Vaccines don’t prevent COVID. They help prevent the spread, and make it less severe, and if I can be a wall of less transmission, that’s my responsibility as a person who cares about others.

I personally don’t want to surround myself with people who don’t care about others. “Everyone’s best interests” is actually about about everyone, not just yourself. A brain injury form being an idiot only hurts you - being a willing COVID carrier affects everyone in the community, so your argument fails. I can’t catch your Brian injury. It’s not even about not wearing a seatbelt. How do you feel about the decision to drink and drive while not wearing a seatbelt?

With all due respect, you already are. Unless you are still home bound, you are interacting with unvaccinated people every day, and that includes people who are not vaccinated against things other than covid that can affect you.

I live in Canada, in an area with one of the highest vaccination rates in the country. Masks are still the norm here.

I also tend to hang around people and children that have had their normal schedule of shots, like polio, etc. it’s required to go to school here. We have all had our flu shots (offered right now when you take your child to get their COVID shot).

And you know Your straw man about polio and other vaccines is ridiculous, as it’s not polio or mumps circulating right now, is it?

[Anonymous]

With 2 of your 3 children not yet eligible for vaccination, I'd pass. Similar to another PP, I would be concerned about the disruption to family life should one of the children end up testing positive, particularly if you are in school, utilizing daycare, etc. Our daycare still requires 2 week quarantine for any close contact to a covid+ case, and our elementary school requires 10, vaxxed or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just don’t understand this point of view. I know everyone hates - and I understand how obnoxious it is, I really do! - the “my parents are dead and I’d do anything to see them” posters, but seriously, think about it. You’re refusing to see them to prove a point, not because you’re really scared. You and your kids are probably around unvaccinated people all the time.

They’ve been brainwashed into acting against their and everyone else’s best interests, but if you are vaccinated you should not let their lack of critical thinking skills ruin your relationships forever. If you are triple vaxxed, you should visit them because it’s safe for you. If they had suffered brain damage and couldn’t take care of themselves, would you refuse to see them then? Of course not, you’d feel sorry for them.

I know you are posting here so you can get all the DCUM “attagirls!” and “way to gos!” But I think you are cutting off your nose to spite your face, and you should go see your parents who love you and whom you probably love, despite their stupidity.

NP, but it didn’t get vaccinated for me. I’m in a low risk age group, healthy, and have no risk factors. I got vaccinated because of the people I care about. Vaccines don’t prevent COVID. They help prevent the spread, and make it less severe, and if I can be a wall of less transmission, that’s my responsibility as a person who cares about others.

I personally don’t want to surround myself with people who don’t care about others. “Everyone’s best interests” is actually about about everyone, not just yourself. A brain injury form being an idiot only hurts you - being a willing COVID carrier affects everyone in the community, so your argument fails. I can’t catch your Brian injury. It’s not even about not wearing a seatbelt. How do you feel about the decision to drink and drive while not wearing a seatbelt?

With all due respect, you already are. Unless you are still home bound, you are interacting with unvaccinated people every day, and that includes people who are not vaccinated against things other than covid that can affect you.

I live in Canada, in an area with one of the highest vaccination rates in the country. Masks are still the norm here.

I also tend to hang around people and children that have had their normal schedule of shots, like polio, etc. it’s required to go to school here. We have all had our flu shots (offered right now when you take your child to get their COVID shot).

And you know Your straw man about polio and other vaccines is ridiculous, as it’s not polio or mumps circulating right now, is it?

81 percent of Canadians have had a covid shot - and 71 percent of Americans. We aren’t that far off. The point is that you can’t guarantee that everyone around you is vaccinated, it’s just a part of the health risk you take when you leave the house, and that includes viruses like flu that people aren’t asking their coworkers about.

[Anonymous]

If you are vaccinated then I don't understand what you are worried about. Them not being vaccinated shouldn't hurt you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are vaccinated then I don't understand what you are worried about. Them not being vaccinated shouldn't hurt you.

Her kids are not vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you are vaccinated then I don't understand what you are worried about. Them not being vaccinated shouldn't hurt you.

Did you miss where OP says she has 2 unvaccinated children, and one who will be only partially vaxxed?
Unfortunately, for those of us with very young children, this is still a consideration. Especially with required quarantines if those children become close contacts to covid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We were planning to go visit my parents over Christmas/winter break but I am having major second thoughts. I have not seen them for almost 2 years now thanks to COVID and do feel really badly about that. The main reason I want to cancel is because my parents are unvaccinated and refuse to even consider it since they had mild cases of COVID a year ago. They think it’s no more serious than a cold. The thought of staying with them for a week worries me since they take no precautions for the most part and only wear a mask if it’s enforced. We made the decision to go when case counts were very low and they are definitely on the rise where we are as well as where they live.

The problem is that telling them we aren’t coming because of their vaccination status is going to really offend them - they think we are crazy for being worried and keeping their grandkids away. My mom is very dramatic and will absolutely take it personally. They have tried to come visit us twice but I was able to get out of it since I didn’t want them bringing COVID to us.

What can I do to get out of it without starting world war 3?

We could be twins Op. In fact, my parents were very ill with Covid last Christmas and tested negative this summer for antibodies. I have told them we will not see them until they are vaccinated. It causes a lot of problems and my mom has a real attitude about it. She makes comments about how my uncle is crazy because he wears a mask and takes Covid seriously. I just change the subject. At the end of the day my and my family’s health is more important then their feelings/views. They refuse the vaccine and mandates for political reasons. Not even for health issues which I could understand. They both nose hammock when flying.

[Anonymous]

Eh, I would just wait until it's warmer, your kids are vaccinated, and you can do more outside.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Thanks everyone. First, my kids are not vaccinated, which is the main issue. I have a 2 year old, 4 year old and 7 year old (who will only have one shot but better than nothing). I am getting my booster on December 20 and DH hasn’t gotten his yet since he wasn’t fully vaxxed until July so it hasn’t been 6 months.

We could ask them to take a PCR test but we would be there for 10 days and given that my mom goes to the grocery store and a million other places daily pretty much daily unmasked, she could just as easily bring it home. The week will also be spent at tons of large indoor family gatherings which I am also not sure how I feel about.

I know this is not going away, but I wish we would have gone to see them when case counts were lower vs on an upswing.

You should cancel the Christmas trip. Plan to go in the summer when you can spend more time outdoors and cases will likely be down again.

And book a hotel room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you plan on never seeing your parents again? Because COVID is not going to go away.

If you and your kids are vaccinated I would find a way to make the visit feasible.


And I say this as someone who is fully vaccinated and works in healthcare.

+1

I wish they’d show the data in how many vaxxed people are testing positive now. It’s significant. I’m in Hr and we talk, I also lias with the Dzc area private schools on data and the last week was rough. Nothing terrible spike wise but it was all vaxxed adults and teens.

Efficacy like a flu shot, not always a great.

But hospital use among vaccinated is low. Not OP, but I am willing to get a bad cold from Christmas. I am not willing to get so sick I need the hospital from Christmas.

Hospital use of people with Covid also has huge overlap with other health illnesses.

[Anonymous]

Everyone isolate and take a rapid PCR test on day 3-5, then meet up. In between don’t expose yourself to tons of people. That’s better than vaccinating for knowing if someone has it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We were planning to go visit my parents over Christmas/winter break but I am having major second thoughts. I have not seen them for almost 2 years now thanks to COVID and do feel really badly about that. The main reason I want to cancel is because my parents are unvaccinated and refuse to even consider it since they had mild cases of COVID a year ago. They think it’s no more serious than a cold. The thought of staying with them for a week worries me since they take no precautions for the most part and only wear a mask if it’s enforced. We made the decision to go when case counts were very low and they are definitely on the rise where we are as well as where they live.

The problem is that telling them we aren’t coming because of their vaccination status is going to really offend them - they think we are crazy for being worried and keeping their grandkids away. My mom is very dramatic and will absolutely take it personally. They have tried to come visit us twice but I was able to get out of it since I didn’t want them bringing COVID to us.

What can I do to get out of it without starting world war 3?

We could be twins Op. In fact, my parents were very ill with Covid last Christmas and tested negative this summer for antibodies. I have told them we will not see them until they are vaccinated. It causes a lot of problems and my mom has a real attitude about it. She makes comments about how my uncle is crazy because he wears a mask and takes Covid seriously. I just change the subject. At the end of the day my and my family’s health is more important then their feelings/views. They refuse the vaccine and mandates for political reasons. Not even for health issues which I could understand. They both nose hammock when flying.

Yes, OP, you can't stop your parents from being upset but you can refuse to engage, like this poster does. You don't have to convince your folks that you're right. You only have to set your boundary. It will be hard but it's worse if you try to convince them you're right. Good luck with this!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you are vaccinated then I don't understand what you are worried about. Them not being vaccinated shouldn't hurt you.

Did you miss where OP says she has 2 unvaccinated children, and one who will be only partially vaxxed?
Unfortunately, for those of us with very young children, this is still a consideration. Especially with required quarantines if those children become close contacts to covid.

OP have you mentioned this issue with your parents? They may never come to an agreement with you on the need for vaccination for health reasons, but the disruption to your lives in terms of missing school and work days due to mandatory quarantine is a real issue. This kind of gets away from the idea of whether they should vaccinate for health reasons (which will launch an argument) and into consequences for you and your family that you legally can’t get out of.