Cancelling trip to see unvaxxed parents

[Anonymous]

We were planning to go visit my parents over Christmas/winter break but I am having major second thoughts. I have not seen them for almost 2 years now thanks to COVID and do feel really badly about that. The main reason I want to cancel is because my parents are unvaccinated and refuse to even consider it since they had mild cases of COVID a year ago. They think it’s no more serious than a cold. The thought of staying with them for a week worries me since they take no precautions for the most part and only wear a mask if it’s enforced. We made the decision to go when case counts were very low and they are definitely on the rise where we are as well as where they live.

The problem is that telling them we aren’t coming because of their vaccination status is going to really offend them - they think we are crazy for being worried and keeping their grandkids away. My mom is very dramatic and will absolutely take it personally. They have tried to come visit us twice but I was able to get out of it since I didn’t want them bringing COVID to us.

What can I do to get out of it without starting world war 3?

[Anonymous]

You dont say who “we” is and if you’re all triple vaxxed.

[Anonymous]

I wouldn’t go. But, I think you should have been transparent and told them weeks ago with a resounding we’re not coming unless are fully vaccinated by the time we arrive. Now, they can say thy if they’d only known they would have gotten vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

I think you should make it a matter of medical as well as moral principal to ostracize such people, OP.

They are putting lives at risk. It doesn't matter that it's not your own personally, since you are well-protected, but it's your duty to not enable them, and not to bring the vaccine to them, since they could die.

There are consequences to lack of common sense, and not socializing with their nearest and dearest is one of them.

I have two aunts and two cousins who refuse to get vaccinated. Predictably, they're the stupidest and least well integrated into society and have absorbed disinformation online. I will not see them unvaccinated, and if that means I won't seem them until the end of the pandemic, or ever, that's fine with me.

[Anonymous]

^ one of them even works in a nursing home! Where he lives, apparently they don't care he's vaccinated.

[Anonymous]

Only other thing you all could do would be stay isolated for 3 days, get rapid tested, then meet up. You’d prob be safer than if everyone was vaxxed and just swung by, no tests.

[Anonymous]

I have a sibling who refuses to get vaccinated. She is afraid of Covid (just more afraid of the vaccines). I isolate for 3 days, do a rapid test and wear an n95 around her, to protect her since I am double vaxxed with booster. It is is exhausting to give her special treatment but it is what it is. Covid is not going away anytime soon, i don’t have the energy to take a moral stand and miss out on a relationship with my nieces and nephews like I did in the earlier days of the pandemic.

Would you be able to stay at a separate location and ask everyone to take rapid tests before meeting. Your parents are likely more at risk than the risks for you or your kids.

[Anonymous]

Do you plan on never seeing your parents again? Because COVID is not going to go away.

If you and your kids are vaccinated I would find a way to make the visit feasible.


And I say this as someone who is fully vaccinated and works in healthcare.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a sibling who refuses to get vaccinated. She is afraid of Covid (just more afraid of the vaccines). I isolate for 3 days, do a rapid test and wear an n95 around her, to protect her since I am double vaxxed with booster. It is is exhausting to give her special treatment but it is what it is. Covid is not going away anytime soon, i don’t have the energy to take a moral stand and miss out on a relationship with my nieces and nephews like I did in the earlier days of the pandemic.

Would you be able to stay at a separate location and ask everyone to take rapid tests before meeting. Your parents are likely more at risk than the risks for you or your kids.

Wow, that's a lot of accommodations for someone who refuses the vaccine, does your sister do the same for you? Isolate, test, and mask up

[Anonymous]

This is very straightforward to me: no vaccination, no visits.

[Anonymous]

No actions have consequences. No vist.

[Anonymous]

PP here, yes, she tests and masks, as do my vaccinated parents and other vaccinated sib. Luckily BIL and nieces and nephew are vaxxed. We have a stash of rapid tests to use but I did wish the price and availability of rapid tests would improve.

[Anonymous]

“Mom, we can’t come. I am heartbroken but the pediatrician and pediatric pulmonologist said it would put Larla at risk with you and Dad not being vaccinated.” (Start to sniffle and have your voice break a little). “Please don’t make this harder on me and the kids than it already is”.

[Anonymous]

In all honesty, OP, you could be saving their lives by stressing the consequences on not getting vaccinated (they don’t get to see you or the kids). You may force them into getting vaccinated.

There’s a real run on people getting vaccinated for the first time now. I don’t know if it’s the various mandates, or the new mutation, or just that the holdouts have seen that we vaccinated haven’t grown two heads but previously staunch anti-vaxxers are getting vaccinated. Your parents can change.

[Anonymous]

Tell them to look up Bill Phillips, the Body for Life guy who thought he was immune and then ended up on a ventilator, lost 60 lbs of muscle, and had to learn to walk again.