Can a man and a woman really be just friends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In theory, yes, but in reality, one usually has or develops romantic hopes or feelings for the other eve if they never verbalize it to that person

So what, this is probably true in many same sex friendships as well, just completely repressed due to social norms. Some of the feelings I’ve had for women friends have been very intense.

I think we probably have thoughts and feelings of all kinds for all kinds of people in all kinds of relationships — parents, teachers, colleagues, etc. It doesn’t prevent those relationships from going forward. Reality is complicated.

1. The question is about men and women so we aren't discussing same sec friends and relationships.


2. No I don't think most people develop romantic feelings for parents, teachers, colleagues etc, and one is just suppressing the.


3. Get a clue and lose the attitude!

[Anonymous]

Absolutely yes. I’m barely attracted to my husband. I’m definitely not attracted to my friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No not really. You can be acquaintances at best, or friends in a group or as couples. Men don’t want a close 1:1 woman friendship. They just don’t.

See, this is sexist. It's like thinking homosexuals present in one way, and heteros in another. People are people and you will get various personalities associated with various genders and sexual orientations.

I'm willing to bet, pp you're responding to is a guy., and you are a woman, why do the women here get mad at guys for not thinking like women? There are differences between men and women and how they approach relationships and the world whether you like it or not,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The thing I find amusing about this question is the concept that all men want to have sex with all women and therefore can't be friends with a woman without at some point wanting sex with her. If I were a man I'd find this a little insulting. I guess what goes along with that is the idea that a man won't want to be friends with a women unless he also finds her sexually desirable.

Bottom line for me, in my 60s now, is that I have certainly had male friends over the years, both when I was married and when I wasn't. Although there may have been some element of sexual attraction I have never had the problem of either of us not being able to ignore that if, for instance, we were unavailable or if it wasn't mutual.

I bet those male friends would give a very different answer.

[Anonymous]

Harry Burns: You realize of course that this means we could never be friends.
Sally Albright : Why not?
Harry Burns : What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright : That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : You only think you do.
Sally Albright : You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns : No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : How do you know?
Harry Burns : Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright : So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns : No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright : What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns : Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright : Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns : I guess not.
Sally Albright : That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

[Anonymous]

My wife has one of those platonic male best friends whom she has known since kindergarten. She totally sees him like a brother (he's not that attractive either). I told her he still wants to have sex with her, and she laughed it off - he see's me like a sister!

Of course, they were out drinking recently and she told me he tried to kiss her. Of course.

It's not that men can't be friends with attractive women. I can be friends with a woman and genuinely enjoy her company as a friend but still want to have sex with her. And I can totally enjoy my friendship with her while never being inappropriate. It's not hard to reconcile these things.

[Anonymous]

Not all men are Neanderthals, many are capable of having friendships with women without wanting sex.

[Anonymous]

I am single ( a widow) and I have male friends. Some are marrie but we enjoy the same hobby, some I met through work. I have gay male friends, and a couple single male friends I am not interested in. I also have male friends I used to date and that’s murkier since they still make passes or flirt sometimes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but honestly I only made close male friends before marriage; since then it's maintenance of those old friendships, and maybe friendly co-workers/spouses of friends.

+1. I don't seek it out (unless the man is gay).

[Anonymous]

I can. I don’t have any problem being friends with men without becoming attractive. I avoid friendships with the few men I thought, wow I might want to bang him. Men can be friends with me because most men don’t want to have sex with me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not all men are Neanderthals, many are capable of having friendships with women without wanting sex.

I think "friend" is a very vague noun. No man actively seeks out and puts energy into a 1:1 relationship with a woman for the sake of being "friends"

[Anonymous]

Yes.

I don't know about you but I am not automatically physically attracted to every straight man out there. I mean, who is?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Harry Burns: You realize of course that this means we could never be friends.
Sally Albright : Why not?
Harry Burns : What I'm saying is - and this is not a come-on in any way, shape or form - is that men and women can't be friends because the sex part always gets in the way.
Sally Albright : That's not true. I have a number of men friends and there is no sex involved.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : No you don't.
Sally Albright : Yes I do.
Harry Burns : You only think you do.
Sally Albright : You say I'm having sex with these men without my knowledge?
Harry Burns : No, what I'm saying is they all WANT to have sex with you.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : They do not.
Harry Burns : Do too.
Sally Albright : How do you know?
Harry Burns : Because no man can be friends with a woman that he finds attractive. He always wants to have sex with her.
Sally Albright : So, you're saying that a man can be friends with a woman he finds unattractive?
Harry Burns : No. You pretty much want to nail 'em too.
Sally Albright : What if THEY don't want to have sex with YOU?
Harry Burns : Doesn't matter because the sex thing is already out there so the friendship is ultimately doomed and that is the end of the story.
Sally Albright : Well, I guess we're not going to be friends then.
Harry Burns : I guess not.
Sally Albright : That's too bad. You were the only person I knew in New York.

Haha are these real quotes from the movie??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am a woman in my early 50s, married since late 20s. Friends of mine from HS who are male, who I've been friends with for decades, are still my friends. Nothing romantic or sexual, we've known each other for what feels like forever.

I work in a customer service industry, and have male clients (not really the right word, but close enough) whom I have become friendly with. I am happily married, they are happily married, and yes, we are friends. Meaning, if I left the job tomorrow, we would stay in touch, go out for a meal, and remain friends.

You must be ugly. I can only be friends with a woman whom I’m not attracted to. If there is attraction, then
can’t be friends - the sex part always gets in the way. Sorry…I’m not a bad guy - just a normal heterosexual dude.

[Anonymous]

Yes, an adult knows when someone of the opposite sex is interested in being more than friends and when that’s the case it’s difficult