How do you handle screen time for visiting family kids?

[Anonymous]

I don’t think you should try and control the teens if the other kids are younger. But I definitely think you should talk to the parents of the other kids and come to an agreement. Screens should be allowed but at set times imo. So all kids have access at the same time and turn off at same time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you should try and control the teens if the other kids are younger. But I definitely think you should talk to the parents of the other kids and come to an agreement. Screens should be allowed but at set times imo. So all kids have access at the same time and turn off at same time.

I don't think 6 year olds and 15 year olds should be subject to the same rules but maybe a general rule that all guests turn phones/iPads off during dinner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem obnoxiously asking why the kids who rarely see each other and were so looking forward to seeing each other are looking at iPads instead of interacting with each other.

They’ll ignore you and go right back to your screens. This won’t achieve anything.

No, they don’t. Maybe in your house kids ignore adults, but not in mine. Full disclosure though - these are tweens, not teens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s a holiday. Let them do whatever.

^^^ This exactly.
The obsessive worrying and hand wringing over "screens" just keeps amping up. So silly.

I didn't get the impression that OP was worrying obsessively and wringing her hands over screens, but rather hoping to find a way to mitigate the way screen use keeps the kids from interacting more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Screens are the way lots of kids interact with others especially boys. I’d just let them have at it.

Wtf, they need screens to interact with people 2 feet away from them?

Crappy parents like you are what’s wrong with society.

[Anonymous]

You have to have some times when the kids are not allowed individual screens. They can watch movie together and you need to make the whole atmosphere of communal movie watching fun and cosy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You can't control kids that aren't your own. Sucks, but it is what it is. Our nephews used to bring Ipads to restaurants to watch the whole time and our daughter was bummed because she rarely got to see them but we couldn't tell them what to do.

I'd ask the parents if they'd be up for a screen-free day or specific hours to foster playing together. But if they aren't, let it go.

Prep your own kids ahead of time so they understand that their screens won't be out every second that someone else's screens are out.

And then build in some shared screen time - movies together or a video game hour etc.

Be flexible.

My nieces and nephews used to watch their iPads at the table at all meals when we did family trips with them in the summer. Once our kids were old enough to really notice, we decided to stop traveling with them because honestly there was no cousin time to be had anyway.

[Anonymous]

We are the free for all family. The kids are 11 and 13. My sister brings a board game and I will ask mine if they want to play. Her kids, the same ages, will be the first to complain that no one likes board games and to leave them alone. The cousins usually are online, but together. If it’s summer they will go swimming but not when it’s cold. We see them twice a year and I am fine with it. When I was 11 or 13 I didn’t want to play games with the family. I think I watched movies with my cousins in the winter to get away from the adults.

[Anonymous]

We have handled it in multiple ways over the weekend:
- agreement with parents on what hours are screen free for all kids;
- going on outings, otherwise free for all;
- free for all and going with the flow

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many days out of the year is this really? We're in the middle but I usually let the higher volume go. If there is another group activity where it is clear, then we should all participate. e.g., we're all starting monopoly at 8 p.m. (or whatever, I hate monopoly). But no, I don't get upset that kids watch tv together rather than willingly make a giant lego set or something. But again, it's so few days, it doesn't matter.

Not OP but I disagree that it doesn't matter because it's a few days. Those large family gatherings ARE the few days when kids have a chance to engage with extended family. It's during those few days kids typically
learn what it means to socialize for hours or days at a time, where they have a chance to listen in on grown-up conversation and learn about family history, values and dynamics. It's a chance to learn how to get bored and frustrated in tandem with cousins and find ways to resolve family tensions while strengthening their bonds. Letting kids escape into their own digital worlds for such long stretches during holidays robs them of all those opportunities.

This!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem obnoxiously asking why the kids who rarely see each other and were so looking forward to seeing each other are looking at iPads instead of interacting with each other.

[/b]They’ll ignore you and go right back to your screens. This won’t achieve anything.

[b]

True. And it’s so sad…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are the kids? If under 10, I would just say "ok, iPad time is up, outside!" and sweep through the room gathering iPads and shoo all the children outside.

If over 10, they are smart enough to see where you put the iPad down and collect it again and then hide better, but hopefully at least a few go play.

If it's a way to keep the kids entertained, I'd MUCH rather they all watch a movie together on a tv, so say after dinner I'd offer that.

But yes, I'd also prepare my kids that they wouldn't be on their iPads the entire time and explain how much screen time they can have and the movie plan. And then loosely enforce it.

All the kids in our family have way more fun playing than on the screens, though sometimes they all look at Minecraft or something too. It's usually short lived and they move on because playing is more fun. Most of them are under 10 though, so I think it's easier to enforce and they are more open to "play time".

Why is watching a movie on TV superior to watching a movie on an iPad? They’re both screens and the kids aren’t interacting with each other in either scenario. Banning small screens in favor of large ones is a weird hill to die on.

[Anonymous]

House guests adhere to rules in your house.

[Anonymous]

Yesterday we had five kids at our Thanksgiving meal. Youngest was 22 months old, oldest was 15 yrs old. Only the two people cooking were pulling out phones to set alarms for dishes to be taken out of the oven. The kids talked with people and played with the dog.

It might as well have been 1987 for how low-tech everything was.

[Anonymous]

If our family visited you and you tried to dictate strict screen time rules to my kids, we wouldn’t visit you again. But maybe that is what you want.

(Hosting doesn’t mean you are all of a sudden the parent.)