How do you handle screen time for visiting family kids?

[Anonymous]

I have no problem obnoxiously asking why the kids who rarely see each other and were so looking forward to seeing each other are looking at iPads instead of interacting with each other.

[Anonymous]

Other than engaging the kids and appealing to their interests, there isn't much you can do. It sounds like this isn't even in your own home, so you really have no say in what these kids do. I'd let it go after asking them if they want to participate. You aren't their parents. You wouldn't appreciate another parent giving your kids an iPad right? So don't assume you can take away another kid's device because you think you have better parenting skills.

[Anonymous]

It’s a holiday. Let them do whatever.

[Anonymous]

I’d talk to the adults ahead of time. “Hey, it’s so much fun to see the cousins playing together. My kids always turn lame though as soon as the screens come out. Would you be okay with us instituting a house rule on Friday afternoon that all screens need to go away until 6? I got a couple of fun board games and was thinking on making gingerbread houses. I don’t want to overstep, but it would be really great to force them to all play while they have time together since they have time all together so rarely. I’m totally willing to be the bad guy. And then maybe we do Christmas movies that night so we can all relax….”

Even if they internally rolled their eyes, my rrlatives would be totally receptive to this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have no problem obnoxiously asking why the kids who rarely see each other and were so looking forward to seeing each other are looking at iPads instead of interacting with each other.

They’ll ignore you and go right back to your screens. This won’t achieve anything.

[Anonymous]

I’m a limited-screens parent, and I allow my kids a bit more time to be on devices with cousins, doing things like Dragonvale, if that’s what the (usually older) cousins are into.

Here’s what: if I want the cousins to be playing and active, ***I know I need to step up my parenting/aunt status and actually do something with them, or give them something concrete to do.***

Don’t be one of those annoying parents who is saying no screen time or wouldn’t it be nice to get off screens, as you sit on your arse with your drink and do nothing but talk to the adults.

[Anonymous]

Screens are the way lots of kids interact with others especially boys. I’d just let them have at it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do they depend on wifi? You could just turn it off during certain hours.

+1. Just turn it off, or take away their screens and say that for these hours, it's not screens, and for these hours, you can have screens.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It’s a holiday. Let them do whatever.

^^^ This exactly.
The obsessive worrying and hand wringing over "screens" just keeps amping up. So silly.

[Anonymous]

Maybe screens are relegated to certain areas. They can play them in bedrooms only? That way those playing in the other areas can enjoy the toys and games and screen use becomes isolating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many days out of the year is this really? We're in the middle but I usually let the higher volume go. If there is another group activity where it is clear, then we should all participate. e.g., we're all starting monopoly at 8 p.m. (or whatever, I hate monopoly). But no, I don't get upset that kids watch tv together rather than willingly make a giant lego set or something. But again, it's so few days, it doesn't matter.

Not OP but I disagree that it doesn't matter because it's a few days. Those large family gatherings ARE the few days when kids have a chance to engage with extended family. It's during those few days kids typically
learn what it means to socialize for hours or days at a time, where they have a chance to listen in on grown-up conversation and learn about family history, values and dynamics. It's a chance to learn how to get bored and frustrated in tandem with cousins and find ways to resolve family tensions while strengthening their bonds. Letting kids escape into their own digital worlds for such long stretches during holidays robs them of all those opportunities.

This is op and this reflects my sentiments exactly.
My oldest (11) was actually lamenting that cousin x always wants to just play Minecraft. Which can be a great game, but they can do that when they're 6 hours apart. But when they're in person, it seems like a waste.

To answer other question, kids range from 6-15. I'm mostly thinking about the younger ones here.

Thanks for the good food for thought in this thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a limited-screens parent, and I allow my kids a bit more time to be on devices with cousins, doing things like Dragonvale, if that’s what the (usually older) cousins are into.

Here’s what: if I want the cousins to be playing and active, ***I know I need to step up my parenting/aunt status and actually do something with them, or give them something concrete to do.***

Don’t be one of those annoying parents who is saying no screen time or wouldn’t it be nice to get off screens, as you sit on your arse with your drink and do nothing but talk to the adults.

I tend to be pretty actively involved with the kids, sometimes veering towards too much! It's good for them to have to think up the activity themselves.

[Anonymous]

We are in between with screen rules and our kids definitely don't have their own devices. When the other kids do, we just give up and let them look over their shoulders or play together. Not worth arguing or having a pissing match with other families. I do remind my kids not to do it at the table though, but after dinner is fine.

[Anonymous]

How old are the kids? You cannot expect an older kid to play with your 2-6 year olds dress up and legos.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a limited-screens parent, and I allow my kids a bit more time to be on devices with cousins, doing things like Dragonvale, if that’s what the (usually older) cousins are into.

Here’s what: if I want the cousins to be playing and active, ***I know I need to step up my parenting/aunt status and actually do something with them, or give them something concrete to do.***

Don’t be one of those annoying parents who is saying no screen time or wouldn’t it be nice to get off screens, as you sit on your arse with your drink and do nothing but talk to the adults.

I tend to be pretty actively involved with the kids, sometimes veering towards too much! It's good for them to have to think up the activity themselves.

Never said otherwise. But clearly if they are always on screen, they need more direction, and lazily saying so from the couch ain’t it.