How to deal with snack culture if you follow Ellyn Satter

[Anonymous]

I don’t follow E Satter and we generally don’t have a morning snack either. However if we were at a park or play date and the other kids were having a snack I would include my kid, but they have to be sitting down. Take a healthy snack with you if you know you are meeting friends. Let your kid eat but enforce sitting down.

[Anonymous]

OP your approach sounds like an eating disorder waiting to happen. Your kid is going to go nuts when able to make his own choices away from you. Relax the rules a little bit. He's 2! An occasional snack isn't going to ruin him.

[Anonymous]

You have to plan for it and not be so rigid. My kid used to live a snack break at the playground so I always brought a snack and so did whomever we were playing with. Kids sit down together and snack. I bring it so I control what it is. What the other kid is eating is irrelevant- teach them not to ask for food from others.

[Anonymous]

I tried to be a to snack. Then I realized I was putting my very adult food hang ups on a child's. My child runs and plays non stop. Now that they are older they are into intense sports like swimming and rinn6n. They would be me people if they only ate at meal times.

Teach your kid to say no thank you. Also reealuate if your kid becomes more active.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Holy hell in a hand basket…so many food control freaks.

Right? My kids are allowed to go into the pantry or fridge and eat anything they want at any time. I want to teach them how to eat when hungry, not gorge themselves when food is available because God knows when they'll get another snack. If you don't want them eating certain things don't buy them.

In 30+ years OP's kid is going to be post asking for strategies for visiting Grandma and dealing with "the kitchen is closed". Love insane FTMs and love this thread! BTW, sitting here reading this while sitting at my desk finishing up a snack of a mini diet coke and some left over halloween candy.

Yep. OP is 100% going to be the grandma who denies hungry people food because she is so concerned that her DIL is fat or that she will make her grandkids fat. All this control you think you have right now OP, is because you have a small child who is not in preschool/daycare/school. You must be a SAHM (and I am one as well, so this is not a put down of SAHM), but you've clearly not had to cede any control in this department. It is coming. Take a chill pill, maybe talk to a therapist about why you are so hung up on food. it could be helpful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP I think you probably need to loosen up. If you’re this rigid with ANY system, it’s too much. Your kid is just going to go bananas as soon as they can break free.

+1 Rigidity around food will cause problems long term. Life is full of exceptions. My kid is a bit older, and if I didn't feed her a snack between school and her dance class she would absolutely melt down during class. On the day she has swimming lessons she eats breakfast, goes to swimming class, and eats another breakfast when we get home, then sometimes a later snack before lunch. She also has phases where she is clearly growing and just eats way more than usual, and then the next week eats really small portions. Kids are so different than adults with the variation in how many calories they need.

The where you eat a snack, or the no walking and eating is a good rule, so I'd stick with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So the Ellyn Satter thing is working really well with our toddler. He's almost 2, so the wheels could fall off the wagon at any moment, but for now, it's going great. He eats four times a day at the table - breakfast, lunch, post-nap snack, and dinner.

We have run into the issue that he is really used to eating what we're eating, so he loses his mind if you try to eat something and not share. Its so rare that this happens (usually we're all eating together) that I've generally just given him a tiny piece and haven't thought much about it.

However - now that the pandemic has wound down, we're spending more time with other families which is WONDERFUL. We also moved, and are now on a block with a ton of kids his age.

But the Cult of the Snack is so insidious. Anytime we see another toddler in the morning, they're carting around a snack. And of course the other kid (and parents) are always happy to share. But I really don't want my kid to get into this "always eating" mentality. I also don't like the walking around eating thing. And what do we do when we host? One side benefit of eating at the table is that my sofa cushions aren't filled with Goldfish crackers, and I'd really like to keep it that way if possible.

I'm a FTM - how do other people handle this? Not sure if we should tighten up and stop letting him insist on eating anytime someone else is eating, and ask visiting kids to eat their snack at the table, or if we should loosen up on both. Lots of people on this board are into Ellyn Satter - how have you handled it? How did it evolve as the kids got older? Feels like we're picking a path here, not sure which way to go.

Np We "handle" it by not being so dogmatic about rules. When meeting with friends it is ok to break the rules and eat goldfish...and sometimes we walk around! Thank you lucky stars your problems are this small.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I HATE that so many toddler have snack cups attached to their hands in the playground. It’s gross. Of course my 14 month d wants whatever they’re eating and although we explain it to her she still wants it and is so distracted by it.

This is such a bizarre comment. Little kids on the playground are hungry because they're running around burning energy. And your 14 month old doesn't understand why she can't have a snack! She's a baby for Pete's sake!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I HATE that so many toddler have snack cups attached to their hands in the playground. It’s gross. Of course my 14 month d wants whatever they’re eating and although we explain it to her she still wants it and is so distracted by it.

This is such a bizarre comment. Little kids on the playground are hungry because they're running around burning energy. And your 14 month old doesn't understand why she can't have a snack! She's a baby for Pete's sake!

I don't think of myself as controlling around food, but I also don't understand the need for a kid that age to be eating while actually playing. You can stop, have a snack on the bench, and go back to playing. Sure, young kids need to eat more often than adults, but they can make it from the top of the slide to the bottom without a snack. To me, it's not so much about healthy long term habits, as it is about the fact that gummy food on the equipment is gross for the next people.

[Anonymous]

Your house, your rules, I guess. It seems a bit rigid, as others have said. We allow fruit whenever, but it needs to be eaten while sitting down (on weekend could include TV). We don't allow walking around with a snack. Other than that, if a kid is hungry, a kid is eating a healthy snack. This shouldn't be so difficult.

[Anonymous]

It’s scary watching young parents create eating disorders right in front of your eye holes. My kids were allowed to eat whenever they were hungry, with the exception of right before supper. They all grew into healthy, athletic, fit adults. Controlling food is disordered.

[Anonymous]

Maybe don't call it snack. Call it second breakfast, elevensies, whatever. Little kids need to eat every couple of hours.

[Anonymous]

I don’t exactly follow Ellyn Satter but I did really enjoy a food psychology talk I went to and I’m a big adherent of healthy sleep habits happy child.

What you do all the time is most important. If that’s normally the meals as you described - that’s fine.

But don’t be so rigid that you can’t ever make exceptions. What you do most of the time is the rule, and you can make exceptions occasionally and that’s ok.

You’ll also create issues if your kid grows up like omg I could never say yes if someone offered me a snack.

[Anonymous]

I let my kids have a snack whenever they ask for one. The only rule is that they have to sit to eat. I hate seeing little kids running around the playground with cups of crap snacks. It distracts my baby and is just really poor parenting. My older kids think it’s just weird.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. This is the OP. This thread really devolved and became unhelpful. Thanks to the couple of people who answered my actual question. Glad there's a different thread now to debate the merits of Satter's methods, because that was not my question!

And FWIW, my kid only has one snack because that's all he needs, not because I'm starving a hungry kid. He happens to be hungrier later in the day, so he has a big snack (basically a fourth meal) and a huge dinner late in the day, but eats like a bird for breakfast and lunch, so clearly doesn't need a morning snack. He's literally never asked for one at home, nor ever asked for an early lunch. He just gets FOMO when the other kid he's playing with suddenly has a fistful of food on the playground. I know there are a lot of Satter followers here, so I was simply asking other people who follow a similar structure how they handle those situations.

We'll probably do it case by case out of the house, but ask that other kids in our house eat at the table. I like the tip that if he is eating out and about (like at the playground) to still have him sit and eat rather than wander with food. That seems like a good balance. So thanks to folks who mentioned that.