why am I so angry? Tell me I need to get over myself

[Anonymous]

OP here.

I'm not blaming my stepmom. My dad is a grown man. He can contribute his thoughts and ideas to the relationship too. It's his responsibility, not hers. He's retired and she's still working full time. There is no reason why he can't do something on his own from time to time. These are his choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here.

I'm not blaming my stepmom. My dad is a grown man. He can contribute his thoughts and ideas to the relationship too. It's his responsibility, not hers. He's retired and she's still working full time. There is no reason why he can't do something on his own from time to time. These are his choices.

OP, I sympathize with you, it is sad when our parents don't seem as interested in us/our kids as we'd want them to be. If his wife is still working, and they have dogs that they don't like to leave, I could see how she might be overly protective of her weekends and PTO. It hurts that you are not a priority to her, clearly her family is (if they are going to stop and see you for 24 hours after a longer visit with her family). Gently talk to you dad about planning a visit for just him, maybe during the week? Are the dogs allowed at your house? Maybe they could come with him?

[Anonymous]

I have always had pets (dogs and cats) and live them very much. However, something has happened in this country in the last 20 years where pets have taken on way too much emotional importance IMO. They now replace human connection for many people and that’s sad. Prioritizing your dog over cultivating a relationship with your grandchild is a pity.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So why won’t you just ask him to visit for longer when comes at Christmas? What’s stopping you from doing that?

OP here. Because of his dogs. They don't have additional arrangements for the dogs and he has made it clear that additional arrangements aren't possible.

We also invited them as an alternative to join us for skiing at a different date when their dog sitter would also be free. But, no dice.

Would you be willing to let the dogs stay with you?

Do they enjoy skiing?

[Anonymous]

What's stopping you from going to their house?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's stopping you from going to their house?

OP here. The fact that we weren't invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have always had pets (dogs and cats) and live them very much. However, something has happened in this country in the last 20 years where pets have taken on way too much emotional importance IMO. They now replace human connection for many people and that’s sad. Prioritizing your dog over cultivating a relationship with your grandchild is a pity.

This is what happens to WASPs who find it easier to relate to a dog than to other humans. Something is wrong with them ans they are passing down their crAzy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have always had pets (dogs and cats) and live them very much. However, something has happened in this country in the last 20 years where pets have taken on way too much emotional importance IMO. They now replace human connection for many people and that’s sad. Prioritizing your dog over cultivating a relationship with your grandchild is a pity.

This is what happens to WASPs who find it easier to relate to a dog than to other humans. Something is wrong with them ans they are passing down their crAzy.

Same tired song, different tired verse. Yawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How close do you live to them? How often do you see them? Did you talk to them about this move to be closer before you did it? Seems like they’re not interested in being super involved grandparents, that’s their choice. I’d take that information and live wherever you would be happy and have support rather than close to them.

PP here.. did you mean you’re a 4 hr drive from DC or a 4 hr drive from your dad? I wouldn’t consider 4 hours close enough for frequent visits. Maybe once every month or two.

Come on. He’s not coming for Thanksgiving. And they’re stopping for one day after they celebrate Christmas with the stepmoms family.

This is basically saying you’re not important.