Drama over a PS5

[Anonymous]

You were looking for drama. You send it to dads house, not moms.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you deliberately gave your niece an expensive gift in front of your step nephews where you were not giving them something similar?

Both you and your sister sound like jerks.

It was a birthday gift. Do you often give all your kids equal gifts when it's only one kid's birthday?

No, but given she knew all the history here, she could have found a way to give this more privately. I am guessing she doesn’t give nearly the equivalent of this type of gift to the step nephews. I mean if my one kid gets a lavish gift for her bday in April and then the relative gives my other kid a dollar tree toy in October, I wouldn’t be happy.

Presumably step kids have relatives niece doesn’t have who don’t give her gifts either.

[Anonymous]

Your sister is a bad mother. She should have been paying child support to begin with. It's what she deserves. The op has every right to get her niece a present. Your sister has really bad priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You set off a storm and should have stayed out of it. You can show your niece love by being kind to her. You don't need to shower her with gifts that cause drama. It only hurts her when the drama happens and it confuses her. She is excited for the gift, but ow in a storm.

You are also sucked into all this drama and we don't know your sister's side. Just show love and have boundaries. You should not be making things worse.

OP is allowed to give her niece a gift.

OP’s sister has chosen to prioritize “her man’s” kids over her own daughter. OP’s sister is the person who is hurting her daughter.

OP should focus on being a good aunt and sidelining her waste of space sister.

That was not a gift in the true sense because it stirred the pot and I get the sense OP knew it would. Yes, OP should focus on being a good aunt which means not creating more drama and just being kind to the nieces. I am not ready to judge the sister without hearing her side. I think OP gets a little dopamine rush causing trouble and she probably gets another one posting here and reading.

Nieces? No. There is a niece. Those other kids aren’t related to OP.

And yes, blended families are a mess. Here, it’s a mess created by OP’s sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

The PS5 was given at the sister’s house to make sure the sister saw it. OP knew she was stirring shit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

The PS5 was given at the sister’s house to make sure the sister saw it. OP knew she was stirring shit.

Probably, but maybe niece is treated like Cinderella at the house and aunt wanted to spoil her a bit.

[Anonymous]

You’re really crappy, OP. You knowingly stirred the pot to get in a dig at your sister.

[Anonymous]

I disagree with lots of these posters. Sounds like niece is getting the message from mom that she isn’t a priority. She shouldn’t be punished because mom isn’t putting niece’s best interests first and is worried about hurting stepkids’ feelings. Dad had every right to file for CS - it’s a legal obligation and he was awarded CS because under the law he deserves it. Mom is a POS for choosing her relationship over her DD and barely seeing her own DD. Maybe OP should have had niece unwrap tge gift at dad’s, but giving the gift was fine and the resulting CS fallout is on mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

The PS5 was given at the sister’s house to make sure the sister saw it. OP knew she was stirring shit.

Probably, but maybe niece is treated like Cinderella at the house and aunt wanted to spoil her a bit.

DP.

It makes no sense to open a gift that was approved of by the dad, for use in the dad’s home…at the mom’s house, in front of the stepkids. Something is off with that. If it was being opened at the mom’s house, then why wasn’t mom (OP’s own sister!) asked about whether a gaming system was ok in her home? It’s not uncommon for parents to not allow or to heavily restrict gaming, which is not only expensive but addicting and requires parental set up and controls. It’s also the type of over the top gift that would be more appropriate as a kid’s big Santa gift than something gifted by an extended family member.

Not at all saying the fall out is on OP though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

The PS5 was given at the sister’s house to make sure the sister saw it. OP knew she was stirring shit.

Probably, but maybe niece is treated like Cinderella at the house and aunt wanted to spoil her a bit.

DP.

It makes no sense to open a gift that was approved of by the dad, for use in the dad’s home…at the mom’s house, in front of the stepkids. Something is off with that. If it was being opened at the mom’s house, then why wasn’t mom (OP’s own sister!) asked about whether a gaming system was ok in her home? It’s not uncommon for parents to not allow or to heavily restrict gaming, which is not only expensive but addicting and requires parental set up and controls. It’s also the type of over the top gift that would be more appropriate as a kid’s big Santa gift than something gifted by an extended family member.

Not at all saying the fall out is on OP though.

Was it at a birthday party? Does OP normally hang out with her niece at her dad's house? Who really cares? She wanted to spoil her niece and got her a gift she wants. Who cares about the spoiled brat step kids who can't get past the fact that it wasn't their special day? Maybe their dad can buy them a PS5 for their birthday and they can share it. If you want one bad enough you can get it on eBay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A PS5 is not the kind of gift you give without checking with the parents first. I suspect you got it knowing it would piss your sister off but it spiraled beyond what you expected and now you’re looking for absolution so you don’t have to acknowledge your role in setting this in motion.

since when do people check with non-custodial parents after the parent the child lives with approves the gift?

since the non-cistodial parent is your own sister at the very least, and frankly every time a gift like a playstation is involved. even parents who do not have primary custody have a say in how their kids are raised and not everybody wants a child to fry her brain in front of a video game.

OP in this case asked the ex but not her own sister, which I think was wrong. second, when the sister complained, instead of just keeping it as something between OP and her sister, resorted to "but your ex said yes" leading to the drama between OP's sister and her ex. OP's sister sounds like a crappy mother but OP does not look helpful at all in a situation that seems very precarious

The PS5 is at the dad's house, who approved it. Do non-custodial parents have the last word on everything that goes on at the other house?

The PS5 was given at the sister’s house to make sure the sister saw it. OP knew she was stirring shit.

Probably, but maybe niece is treated like Cinderella at the house and aunt wanted to spoil her a bit.

DP.

It makes no sense to open a gift that was approved of by the dad, for use in the dad’s home…at the mom’s house, in front of the stepkids. Something is off with that. If it was being opened at the mom’s house, then why wasn’t mom (OP’s own sister!) asked about whether a gaming system was ok in her home? It’s not uncommon for parents to not allow or to heavily restrict gaming, which is not only expensive but addicting and requires parental set up and controls. It’s also the type of over the top gift that would be more appropriate as a kid’s big Santa gift than something gifted by an extended family member.

Not at all saying the fall out is on OP though.

Was it at a birthday party? Does OP normally hang out with her niece at her dad's house? Who really cares? She wanted to spoil her niece and got her a gift she wants. Who cares about the spoiled brat step kids who can't get past the fact that it wasn't their special day? Maybe their dad can buy them a PS5 for their birthday and they can share it. If you want one bad enough you can get it on eBay.

I never even mentioned the step kids. To me this is just about parental approval. Saying mom isn’t the custodial parent as an excuse not to consult her doesn’t really work when the gift is being opened in her house. It would be like gifting a set of nerf guns - not all parents are ok with that type of toy, but maybe would be ok with a water blaster. Ask first!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So you deliberately gave your niece an expensive gift in front of your step nephews where you were not giving them something similar?

Both you and your sister sound like jerks.

WTF?!

It was the niece’s BIRTHDAY!

It sounds like she opened the gift at her birthday party since the stepfamily, mom, dad and aunt were all there. I have never seen anyone bring presents for step siblings (or any siblings) at a birthday party. Even when my kids were very little, this never happened. Do you really need the basics of birthday celebrations spelled out for you?? At birthday parties only the birthday kid gets a present. It is not “mean” or “excluding” to the siblings to only bring a present for the birthday child at a birthday party.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I bought it from a reseller I know. I paid more than the $499 he paid for it.

I can only guess why my nieces father he did not file for child support but it could have been to keep my sister and her husband in line. They always had 50/50 but when my niece started living with him full time he had his lawyer draw up paperwork giving him primary custody which my sister signed. He did not ask for child support at the time.

Ah, yes. They're not married anymore, but the mother must be kept in line.

Truthfully, you are either clueless or a jerk. I'm kind of going with jerk who likes to stir the pot. You obviously don't care for your sister. Her ex-husband sounds like a real winner. It's too bad that your niece doesn't seem to have any adult that can leave drama aside and just be a positive presence in her life.

Hmm. I think I would sarcastically describe the parent who is complaining about paying child support as "a real winner," but I guess opinions can vary.

[Anonymous]

OP, can you elaborate on what’s going on with your sister?

Does she have any kids with her new husband or is your niece her only child? How many step-kids are there? Do they have full custody of the stepkids? How long has she been married?

Where did you give your niece this gift? Was it at a birthday party? At mom’s house or dad’s?